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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35058
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My ex partner has decided that after a two year absence he

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My ex partner has decided that after a two year absence he wants to see our daughter. He paid no child support years and the past few months the payments have been irregular due to his employer not handing them to the CSA. The CSA have told me that he is fact 6k in arrears, of which I am awaiting proof as in a schedule maybe. My main concern is my daughters welfare if he does see her. He is threatening me with court but I have never actually refused him contact. His 2 year absence was down to the fact he says that I changed my mobile number (because he was verbally abusive) but I did not move, change my job or change my landline number. He has moved 3 times and not told me. My other concern is his latest girlfriend, who has had 2 of her 3 children removed and they live with their father. My daughter who is only 5 has said that she does not want to see him. I know it will be supervised in the start, but in the long run I am very concerned daughter. He also has assaulted me in the past, of which I have a letter but I stupidly dropped the charges. Can you please advise me. Thankyou

Thank you question.

I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What contact has he actually asked for?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Just regular visits, nothing specific. But is claiming he is also entitled to 30 days a year holiday with her. Its very very unlikely she will go.

The law says that a child is entitled to contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this of necessary.
This does NOT mean a guaranteed 30 days holiday a year - or anything like that.
Given the history of his behaviour it is likely that he will have to show both that he is committed to having Contact with the child and is actually capable of forming a relationship with her.
This is likely to mean using a Contact Centre months - to see if he is willing to put the effort in.
I know that this is not what you want - but you do have to consider whether or not your ex will in fact be able to make this commitment - or if it is more likely that he will get bored and drop it - without your having to do anything at all.
You should offer to discuss matters with him using Family mediation
and make the offer.
Your daughter is much too young to be involved in the discussions at all.
Please ask if you need further details
Clare and 2 other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Unfortunately the only contact centre in the county is 25 miles away and is only open Saturdays and I work every Saturday.

Could a family member take her to the Centre?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

No, my mum doesn't drive and my dad was actually punched by my ex a few years ago. My son is at university and my oldest daughter is not quite 17. I have no other family. I would be willing to meet him myself at a neutral location, this I feel would make my daughter feel safe and secure. I really don't want to go to court as he can get legal aid, I have some savings and own my home which I believe means I have equity, so I don't qualify aid. I don't intend to keep him from our daughter but since are split his lifestyles and girlfriends choice have been very questionable. This is why I feel him in time him having our daughter on his own would most likely be ok but his current girlfriend I do not feel comfortable with. Thankyou replies

Please do not worry - legal aid is no longer available cases except is certain circumstances not relevant to your case.
If there is a local play centre where you could drop the child and collect her later then that is an excellent option.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Maybe that's a possibility. I have just received a letter from CSA that he is 6k + in arrears and his direct payments due today to myself have not appeared. Not exactly doting dad material, I think he will just get fed up again. Have not received anything from a solicitor, despite his threats, so maybe all hot air. Thankyou

Sadly Contact and Maintenance are not linked - but with luck he will indeed lose interest