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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34907
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I have just received a divorce petition yesterday. My husband

Customer Question

I have just received a divorce petition yesterday. My husband applied again to the court. This time to a court in another city where neither he or I live. He had applied for divorce previously before, but withdrew it because he said at the time it was mean't to scare me to submission to do as he told me to, mostly against my son's needs. This was part of the ongoing various forms of abuse and control he subjected me and my son to. He said it was my fault he had to apply and made him do such a thing. He moved back in and said I had no say in his decision. I asked him what he was trying to offer, he said it was an unfair thing to ask. We have gone through a number of court cases to ensure a safe arrangement for our son. He can only contact my son by email once a week and my son can do what he wishes with the email. The day he had to leave our home was because he insulted my son beyond comprehension he knew he crossed a bad line and I stood up to him and asked him to explain his behaviour he had no choice but to leave.
He withdraw the first application because he has not grounds against me. He has lied in the current application. He lied so much I cannot agree and feel I have to contest the case.
Can I ask for the case to be transfered to the court in the town we live in? I suspect he did this to make it difficult for me to go to court and also may feel the court in our town knows enough about him due to a number of cases he'd have to attend regarding his attitude to our son.
Can I contest based on the fact that his lies and non of his allegation of unreasonable behaviour on my part were indeed his behaviour that he was trying to plant on me.
Can I ask for the legal cost charged to him?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What allegations has he made?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you

Allegations he made were:

unreasonable behaviour

1) Threat to his career due to unreasonable behaviour on my part, sending personal post to his workplace. He sent a christmas present to my son. My son opened the packet and simply told me to send it back and refused to be persuaded to accept it. I sent the package back to the address it came from, his workplace. He posted it from his workplace as the frankin machine showed. I don't know where he lives and I know he does not wish me to, and he did not enclose any other address. I put a note to him in the packet asking him to be understanding of his son's reaction as he is simply trying to cope with the situation he has been placed, it's all too painful for him as he told me he just wants to forget. I also said that I am sending it his work as that was the address he had on the package.That's the first and only time I had sent anything to his workplace.

2) that I made faulse allegation about him regarding his son. That this includes poisoning his relationship with his son and that I continued to deny him access to his son despite court order. The court order only allows him to send an email weekly to his son and it is up to his son what he does with it. Unfortunately he badly abused my son physically and emotionally mostly behind my back such that my son would not be with him alone. His dad would not accept caffcass findings. My son went through hell as he did not want to tell and I am still coming to terms with knowing he suffered so much without me knowing whenever he was left alone with his dad. My son has never replied any of his email and told me if he did his dad would only find a way to abuse him again. I have not done anything to discourage my son from replying him. My son got fed up and asked me to apply to court to stop his dad sending him repetitive email that contains nothing and only shows him how cold he is. I have not done this and I struggle to cope with the psychological effect of this on my son. He is recieving counselling at school and further support from private counselling during holiday period. I have asked his dad to help and he has refused. My solicitor wrote to him about this and he has ignored this to date. In April 2014, when my son asked the school to stop his dad coming to his school as he was trying to take him and he has become very disturbed by this affecting his ambience at school, the court also gave us a note of facts findings and conclusions, asked us to work together to prevent emotional harm to his son. He has refused to corporate to date. I tried to contact him during medical emergencies and he refused to respond. I have stopped now no matter the emergency I thought my son could start to be more comfortable with him if he responded to these emergencies when we were in a&e and hospital admissions. I know my son just wanted to be safe, as he would ask me did you tell dad I'm in hospital!

3) Showing up at his workplace- I showed up in his workplace only once in May, I had tried to contact him on medical request to allow his son to use the medical cover we were on and that I needed the detail for his treatments. He said he'd think about it. I wiated and waited, until the day of the treatment start and I had been asked to bring the medical cover with me. So I wnet to his work stayed in the car, called on the telephone and told his secretary that I was outside, came to collect the paper we talked about if she could tell him. She said I can see your car chatted nicely and said I'll go and tell him. I realised it is possible noone knew of our situation at his work. He is extremely secretive and controling. He came down and yelled at me and angrilly stumming back in. I was shocked.

4) He is claiming that the day he left our home, I woke him up at 3am threatening and aggressive, he decided to leave immediately. The truth was that he had insulted me and my son repeatedly over two days, just 3weeks after he had done the same and attecked me and I had to call the police. He had forced himself back into the house and continued his ways, saying that no one tells him what to do, not the court and he hates lawyers. He went to sleep after and I could not sleep. For once I woke him up and stood up to him and told him that he would have to explain his behaviour right there and I'd call the police. He left! I guessed he knew I was now capable of calling the police and I knew he would find it difficult coming back this time. Please note that he has woken me up many at times in the middle of the night and very abusive in ways unimaginable for years.

Hope this helps for you to answer my questions and give advice please.

Thanks again.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Do YOU wish there to be a divorce?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

No, not at the moment due to my faith. I am going through a study at church at present.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
In that case you are going to have to file a formal answer (defence) to the Petition denying each of the allegations.
There will then be a directions hearing at which you can ask that the case be transferred back to your local court
You can also claim costs
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thak you. This has been helpful

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
You are most welcome - I hope all goes well