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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34888
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Step kids mum has always been difficult. Buries her head in

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Step kids mum has always been difficult. Buries her head in the sand. Last July she disappeared from home at 10pm. Next morning the council turned up to evict her husband and kids as she hadn't filled in the correct housing benefit paperwork. He paid £3000 to get back in the flat. 3 days later EHD called as if nothing had happened. They separated (his choice) and she would not answer our texts of calls about it. The step kids would stay at her exes as he has her other 4 kids. He found out she'd started dating so they split for good. She got a job. Since then she doesn't see them when she sats she will, doesn't call, etc. then we get a text from her saying she'll start having them stay with her at her mums when they're due to spend time with her and she'll ensure they see the younger kids and her ex. My step daughter, 11, is dead against seeing her. My step son , 13 in April, whose having a lot of anger issues at the mo is desperate to see her and spend time with her. He's been very angry saying she's abandoned him, etc. as soon as she says she'll see them he changes his tune. We've said to her we have to meet up to discuss everything (4th time asked since this all started with no reply) before come to an arrangement and hubby not happy for step daughter to be going when she so angrily is refusing. How do we stand legally? What should we do if she doesn't reply or contact us as she keeps doing (6 months ago when this kicked off she said she'd talk to us about contact them started avoiding our calls). She even was telling the kids to lie to her mum that they stay with her ex which is another reason my step daughter does not want to see her.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Do the children see their grandmother regularly?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Not really. Over the last 6 months maybe a couple of times. She (the Grandmother) cut ties with us a couple of years ago and is a nightmare so we've not pushed to get on with her. The mum moved back in with the grandma when she left her husband but hasn't been taking the kids there as she doesn't want the grandma knowing the kids have been staying at her exes (we only realised this a few weeks ago when the kids told us she'd told them to lie that they've not been staying at her exes (he's been their step dad and in their lives for 10 years and he has full custody of her 4 younger kids).
Unless she has attempted mediation then this mother cannot apply to the court for an Order so to an extent you have no cause for concern
If she does finally agree to mediation that your step daughters wishes are likely to be decisive - so chose in mediator also trained to work with children.
It does not of course deal with the wishes of your stepson - which may only be answered by your offering a safe contact arrangement that she can take up if she wishes without going through mediation first.
Please ask if you need further details
Clare and 2 other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Can you recommend any good child mediators? We tried counselling for step daughter but she didn't want to do it. The mother is ignoring all calls and texts anyway, tends to be unless she hears what she wants to hear she doesn't respond and buries her head in the sand