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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34907
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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my step kids (11 & 13) live with me and my husband (step daughters

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my step kids (11 & 13) live with me and my husband (step daughters dad and step sons step dad). Up till last July they were both going to their mums one weekend in every three and then step son would go to his dad's one in every three (step daughter would alternate between us and mum) and then both with us one weekend. The holidays get split three ways as well. Their mum remarried after leaving my hubby and she had 4 more kids. Then last July she walked out on her hubby. He has custody of their 4 kids. She was ignoring our calls and messages and the kids liked going to her husband (Tony) so they continued to go there when it was their time with their mum and the mum would see them there. Step daughter was really angry at her as she would make them lie about where they stay to their nanny, etc. step son was angry too as sees it that she messes up all he relationships and abandoned him. Then a few weeks ago (after repeated texts and calls) finally got hold of her. She sent a message saying she would start having them at her mums. Spoke to her and arranged her to meet step daughter as step daughter was adamant wouldn't go but was happy to after talk. Their mum promised she would sort time for her husband to see them. She's working now Monday to Friday and has the younger kids for a few hours on a Saturday when hubby is at work. My step kids came back from their weekend at their mums really upset that they didn't see their step dad, their mum told hem the weekend had got muddled up. Spoke to her hubby who said that they'd swapped their day for the kids to see her to the Sunday cause of Mother's Day and had said he could have my step kids the Saturday morning. When he Saturday morning came she ignored his texts and calls about seeing them. When he dropped his kids to her on the Sunday she didn't bring them out to see him, made them stay inside. Told him to keep a record of when she lets him down when comes to them. Hes started dating and think she is not happy about this. The kids are really upset about not seeing him and when they went the time before during the half term holiday she didn't let him see hem either, even though I suggested he have them the days he isn't working whilst she's at work so that they get time with him and their younger siblings but instead she kept em at home with her mum (she's living there at the moment). Does their step dad have legal rights to see them? He has been in their lives for over 10 years and my step son has stayed with him and their mum for 59 nights a year and step daughter for 87-90 nights a year minimum for those 10 years up till 4 weeks ago. I'm worried that now she's used him as a glorified baby sitter whilst she was sorting her sh*t out that now he'll be kept out of the kids lives (she tried so many times with step sons dad, even told step son to pretend that my husband was his biological dad) and the last 10 years she avoids courts to drag stuff out to the point we had to threaten her to come. She's a nightmare but we don't want to stop the kids seeing her but feel nit fair if they can't spend time with her hubby and other kids (she hardly has her other 4 kids and legally it looks like they will stay with their dad although she seems to think when she gets her own place she'll get them, but 3 of them don't want to see her at all now cause she left).
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
is there any reason why you cannot make your own arrangements with the Step father?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We could but it would mean giving up our weekend with them to go there, during the week would be difficult due to work and school clubs/homework and fitting it around our other 3 children. We can't split the kids spare time without going back to court and I doubt their mum and step sons dad will agree to lose time with them. We have thought about saying to the mum that they go to her hubby after school on the Friday and he drops them off to her with the other kids on the Saturday lunch time then she has them till the Sunday afternoon but don't think she'll agree to it and is ignoring our requests to talk about it
How is the Friday handover usually dealt with?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We drop them off at 4.30 on Fridays. As neither the mum or her husband drive we drop them off at 4.30 on the Friday and pick them up at 4.30 on the Sunday.
In that case I suggest that you do indeed drop them at the Step fathers and then let the mother deal with the matter.
In the event that she does take the matter back to court to try and enforce the Order you can open the issue of the fact that the children wish to spend time with their step siblings.
Please ask if you need further details
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