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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35054
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Morning my dearest friend a loving devoted dad to his ex girflriends

Customer Question

Morning my dearest friend a loving devoted dad to his ex girflriends and his 7 month old son is facing a manipulating situation in which they have recently severed his relationship with this girl an on off relationship due to her using her son as leverage to trap him into what seems marriage but now she is refusing to allow him to have him like they agreed where he would take him to his own home (2.5hour drive) fabulous car, beautiful car seat etc., and is now talking very serious talk and wants an official meeting through her father who is not an emotionally stable or objective participant - but he is so worried as he thinks because they are not married he has no rights he lives in south Ireland and she lives in Northern Ireland can you please advise thank you - as I wish to be able to help him see his son
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What has been the pattern of contact until now - and is he named on the birth certificate?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Clare

Thank you, ***** ***** named on the birth certificate but the child is named under mother's name and not with the father's last name.

Their son has been living with his dad on and off for 7 months (as the parents have never lived together) Their pattern of contact has always been good - however their relationship was on and off and since she ended the relationship around the 26th/27th March has been by phone message (text) unless he was meeting her. Frequency since they split communication was morning and evenings everyday - before that they would communicate throughout the day.

If it was about them the frequency was more than normal but about their son always mornings and evenings

Only some normal conversations others quite nasty and name calling and angry at him - then refusing to talk or take any messages - then she would come around the next day let the little boy's schedule go back to normal then few days later she would start again saying father cannot have him distance is too far, and manipulating the situation. The dad went up on Sunday to N.Ireland to see his son as the mother was away and the grandparents left him to spend time with him while they went off to play golf all was well - but as soon as mother returned she requested father with less than a days notice to come up next day and take him to the beach - when the dad explained he couldn't and that such short notice requests for a 2.5hour drive is no realistic she proceeded to say he could not have him down to him home in ROI anymore journey is too long, she refused to send him any pictures of the boy and now has written - on Wed 8th April - As of today u will not contact me by phone/social media or any other form of communication. If you have any queries regarding their son you can contact my dad. I'm sorry that it has come to this but you have upset us all and son is my responsibility and him going to ROI is not an option at this stage. If you want a formal meeting u can arrange it through my father.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
What was the schedule when it was working
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


The schedule was strained from time of birth as after 2.5 years it was recognized that relationship was in trouble and not working - the mom fell pregnant and they tried to make it work and as a result of the strain the dad was up and down the road to them at least 3 times a week and then would collect and take mom and son to his home place and where they would reside or stay for number of days and then also stayed for at least a min period of 14 days; and down over the Christmas period; however, due to her relations with her parents her time was always in question and would always return to her home place with their son.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Has he ever had the baby overnight on his own
If so for how many night?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes he has lots of times as he loves having him over sometimes he could have him 2-4 nights he has even taken him when he was sick and nursed him back taking time out of work and brought him home better
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
The law in Northern Ireland states that a child is entitled to contact with both parents and the Courts will enforce this if necessary.
The focus should always be the needs of the child and your friend should try and discuss matters with his ex using Family mediation
He can read more here
If mediation fails then he can apply for an Order setting out how the baby will share his time between them
Please ask if you need further details