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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34885
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My ex fiance walked away just before the wedding. My ex

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My ex fiance walked away just before the wedding.
My ex fiance and I have been together for 9 years. I am South Korean and he is English. We met while I was studying in the UK in 2006. After 3 years of relationship
we moved in together and just naturally knew marriage is the next step to take.
Wedding day was set up for 8th Jan 2015, and everything was pretty much organised. But on the new years eve, my ex said he cannot get married. Two days later, he changed his mind and the wedding was back on. But the following day,
he changed his mind again, calling the wedding off.
The reason he does not want marriage is that he is 100 percent sure that we will get divorced soon after because of the sex issue. When we have become a long term partners, living together, the once-perfectly-fine sexual relationship between us declined. In 2012, we started to attend sex theraphy sessions.
The therapist said the problem is 'normal' to a long term partners, and it will take time to work on it. We had the sessions for about three months, but then I had to come back to Korea because of the visa problems (until then I was holding a student visa)
Anyway marriage was our initial plan, and we had the thraphy sessions that we have not completed, I came back to the UK with fiance visa. My ex, however, said he does not want to attend the sex theraphy like we did last time as, he claims, it was not that helpful to him, so we decided to work it out for ourselves. Wedding day
was set up, and things were getting ready for the day. My parents also booked
the wedding venue in Korea for April as we were planning a big wedding in there.
Five of them in total bought flight tickets to London for the wedding, and accommodations were also arranged for their stay in the UK.
When my ex told me his final decision after a week's crazy confusion -he kept saying his mind is 50:50,and he does not know what to do-,my family was heading to the airport for their flight. Being struck by the news, they came, and have been suffering mentally as well as physically. My dad who had no medical history on his eyesights was so shocked when he heard about the news that his eye sights got
blurred afterwards. He was not able to see things clearly while he was in London, and dignosed cataract soon after his arrival in Korea. He needs to start medical treatment, but might have to go for the surgery if it does not work. The doctor said a sudden shock and massive stress can be a cause for it. My mom has been suffering from insomnia since then. Korea is a such a conservative country, and my parents knowing that their daughter moved in with a man with a promise to marry, but got dumped before marriage is a huge disgrace and shame.
While i and my family are in such a horrible mental and physical condition, my ex
did not even say sorry. He just walked away without losing anything. He kept saying
our year long sex problem was the reason. But I do not believe it was the reason.
He is a person who is so scared of the concept of marriage, more precisely
that he might end up being broke when divorced. He told me about this many times
right in the beginning of our relationships (this is what his dad says as well, talking about the ended up couples around him). But I did not care about it much as we were not serious back then. 3,4 years later, when I asked if he still thinks the same,
he said no, which led me to think he is changed. He wanted to marry me and
that is how our relationship has reached to this far. But thinking about it now, he has not changed at all. And his worst fear -getting married and being broke when divorced- got out of control just before marriage. He has a huge ego and self respect, so it would not have been easy for him to admit that he is a selfish twat who does not want marriage but still want to have his girl next to him. If sex was that serious problem for him, we could have got separated ages ago, but we didn't and rather chose to go sex therapist to improve the issue.
Do you think this incident can be filed as a case, and I can sue him for that?
If that is possible what kind of claims can I make? Is it possible to ask him to
pay the flight tickets for my family and their accomodations in the UK as well
as the actual expenses spent on the wedding? As we had a plan for a big wedding in Korea, the wedding in England was scheduled as a small group gathering.
The actual expenses on wedding was not that much, but
flight tickets had cost my family. Also, is there any way that I can claim
the compensation for the physical and psychological damages he caused to me and my family? I passed my phd viva last year and was in the position to apply jobs. But as I had to come to England with fiance visa which does not allow work, I was unable to start my career in the UK, which was a complete waste of time.
I know he has a right to change his mind, but was wondering
if there is anything that he has to be responsible for
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is ***** ***** I will do my best to help you
Sadly there is no claim that you can make against your ex partner in these circumstances
I am afraid that despite his bad behaviour UK law makes no provision for any type of compensation claim at all
Please ask if you need further details