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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 71144
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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My son was in a relationship with his girlfriend for just

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My son was in a relationship with his girlfriend for just over 2 years and has had a non molestation order against him. as the dates and times dont add up and also information she has given are far from the truth, what options do i have as far as this order is concerned
Thank you for your question. My name is ***** ***** I will try to help with this.
If this is an ex parte order then there will be a date set down for him to attend to contest this. However, if it is just dates and times then probably it will not get very far.
An option is to offer undertakings to the court.
An even better idea is to have nothing else to do with her or other young ladies who seem to think the court are interested in their relationship issues. We all have relationship breakdowns. We don't all take out non molestation orders. Most women in the UK get through their whole lives without ever even once bringing to the attention of the courts their personal disputes and yet there seem to be a small number who do it repeatedly and habitually as they never would if they had to pay. Have nothing to do with them. They are dangerous to everybody around them.
Can I clarify anything for you?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I forgot to mention that as up till january of this year she was still going to his flat at weekends and stayed there but according to her statement the relationship had broken down in april 2014, this as far as i can see, why would she got to his flat till January of this year

Well, she will be saying that she is being controlled or some other similar nonsense.
Please bear in mind that people can always play the victim card and young ladies like her are good at it.
The reason that she was going to his flat is that she wants to continue in the relationship and the purpose of this order is to give her control over him so that she can encourage breaches of the order and then call the police and complain about it when she can't have what she wants. Classic female abuse. It is absolutely widespread in the UK.
Of course, that shouldn't be happening but it is. They should all get wasting police time fines but they don't. A single penny of taxpayer's money should not be spent on it but it is.
Don't be a victim of her stupid childish attention seeking behaviour. Make sure he does not accept any excuses for this and moves on and finds himself a normal girlfriend with a job, no history with social services and no background of making allegations of abuse.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thankyou very much for your reply, as court appearence is on May 1st what should he do now as he will not have time to reply to these accusations, and also has limited funds

If you mean the hearing date for consideration of the full order then just attend. Loads of people are unrepresented and he will be absolutely fine.
The only people who seem to get legal aid at the moment are jobless women who are making claims of domestic abuse.
Jo C. and 4 other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

One more question for now, they both worked at the place, there was an order preventing them to be any where near each other. and on her days off would go into the workplace when she new what shift he was working.also she would go out for walks when she new that they would bump in to him, she was also told that she must seek employment elsewhere or would be sacked by her manager.

many thanks for your replies if i need any further advice i will contact you, once again many thanks

She will try to encourage breaches. She may make false allegations.
If you have any detailed knowledge of her background she will have a long history of doing to relatives who have done similar things.
What he needs to do is make sure that he has nothing to do with and records evidence of her making efforts to contact him. Then when she makes allegations of breaches elect Crown Court trial and the jury will have none of it.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Jo if your still online i have a further question to ask,

having read again through this non molestation order, there are sections where she has said rape, but has been crossed out and sexual assault has been hand written above this is twice in order. on last section rape has been left, this i presume has happened since the break up, but they have not been together since 12th January of this year

Should there be more to your post?
Of course, she is allege rape. If in doubt, allege domestic or sexual abuse. Saves having to be a productive valuable person.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Jo

as far as we can see

he has 3 options

1 to accept the molestation order

2 to take an undertaking

3 is to fight the order

he his suffering severe anxiety at present, and depresion

and is currently being seen by our local mental health team

is the best option to take an undertaking

what rights does he have if she contact him in any way.

over the last few months they have met a few times and had a drink at one of our local pubs just as friends, this she does not have had put in this molestation order, and we know why she has done that.

now a question that i have in this order there is an exclusion article that he is not allowed within 100 mtrs. i would like to know that if my son does happen to go out with his friends to a local pub, and she turns up there, is she the one that has broken this order and she is nasty enough to phone the police to have him arrested, this she is likely to do. she has before gone into where he works and then burst into tears for no reason. also she has been showing people texts that my son has sent to her, but she has deleted all text from there conversation that she has sent, fortunately my son has kept all the text messages that she has sent.



As I said originally really, the best response is to offer an undertaking.
In your example, he would have to leave the pub and if he does not he will be in breach. She will provoke him and encourage breaches so that she can complain. That is why he needs to offer undertakings.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

last one jo

his question is does he need to go to court to sign this documentation.

i am sure he will have to but he wanted to ask to maake sure

sorry to take up your time, but all so far is most useful to me

No, it is fine.
If he doesn't go to court, the interim order will become permanent.
What he needs to do is go to court and offer undertakings which will replace the order.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

thankyou Jo

No problem.
All the best.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Joe

my son was stupid and txt her to sort out the money which he owed her. so now restraining order against him and now the problem he has is that she can go into where he works and possibly use that against him, he has been told that best thing for him to do is go to another part of the pub, so there can be no problem and to phone police and have her removed. at the moment he is staying with me, when we spoke to the police today the lady that deals with this sort of thing said that the restraining order is not worth the paper it is written on. as there is no protection for him if she can do anything she wishes, we have already seen around the area where i live an as far as we know there is no reason for her to be up this part of the Island

many thanks


What would you like to know about this please?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

What i would like to know is there anyway we can stop her from going any where near where he works and also from the area near to where i live, as my son is staying with me at the. He has the restaraining order against him which I can understand, but she can go anywhere she wishes, into his work or in the area where i live, which she has been doing, is there anything we can do to stop her from doing this

Does she have any legitimate reason to be there?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Jo

there is no reason whatsoever for her to be within this area of the island as she can get to her place of work, and there are many pubs and restaraunts down the other end of the Island where she live.She knows very well that she can go into where he works and we feel that this is harrisment.

Well, she is under any specific duty to avoid him although the fact that she is not casts doubt upon any allegation that she is afraid of him.
If she is making journeys to his workplace though for instance then that is harassment and you can complain to the police.