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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35058
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I am a single mother with one daughter at University

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I am a single mother with one daughter at University (19) and my son who is 15. He has Aspergers/OCD/Extreme Anxiety/Mental Health Issues. I have custody of him. He has an EHCP and is highly medicated. We have reached the end of what can be expected from a mainstream school and the local authority are helping me to find a special school for him. The LA have put a proposal together for the SEND panel and a decision is expected to be in my son's favour - thus starting the process of transfer to another school in September 2015. His Dr's/local authority/current school/my son and myself all agree that is the best course of action for him.
I have been divorced since 2005 and my ex has always paid maintenance for both children. My son see's his father three times per year (for about an hour each time).
His father is remarried and lives in Italy. My son has told the professionals that he wants nothing to do with his father (who has been violent towards him in the past). My ex does not believe our son has any kind of disability and prefers to tell everyone I have Munchhausens and that I invent all his problems. Last time our son saw his father, he crushed a glass between his hands (due to his high anxiety) and caused cuts which had to be treated in hospital.
I have been dealing with all of my son's health and education needs, and my ex has nothing to do with me at all. When I told my ex husband 5 years ago that our son was Autistic he went round every professional and hounded the life out of them. Two people left their jobs because my ex husband was accusing them of all sorts (colluding with me/inventing my sons condition etc).
We are now at a stage whereby we must change my son' s school. As my ex husband has joint parental responsibility, I have been told I must include him in the decision by a parent advisor. His Dr's think that to encourage dad to "start playing up" would really damage my son's mental health even more. I really cannot go through all this again, I spend all my time fighting for my son and caring for him and I cannot take on my ex as well - it will be just too much. As my son does not want his dad to know and other professionals are saying to keep dad out of it - are there likely to be any ramifications legally if I agree to this move and tell my ex afterwards?
Thank you for your question.
My name is ***** ***** I will do my best to help you
Given all the circumstances there is no reason to involve your ex at this stage
Simply notify him once the move has been made.
If he then choses to apply to the court to revisit the decision then you can deal with his objections and point out that at 15 your son is entitled to have his wishes respected - indeed after his 16th birthday his father will no longer have the right to be consulted at all
I hope that this is of assistance
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