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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 32086
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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Without Prejudice I am going through a divorce in the UK.

Customer Question

Without Prejudice
I am going through a divorce in the UK. I virtually bought my son up and the mother always had her own life not even spending Christmas days with the family. When we separated she suddenly decided she wanted her son, in my mind to use as a pawn for the financial settlement. She has already tried to cash in his premium bonds that he will get when he is 16, and failed. She claims poverty constantly although she pays for nothing, she is staying in the marital home where i am still paying bills and she gets maintenance. As the divorce is still to be finalised through the courts. She has in the last year misused funds for facial reconstruction, a breast augmentation, tattoos, champagne breakfasts to name a few of her mis spending of the maintenance. Needless to say it was she who applied for the separation.I was only staying in the situation to protect my child as the `uk law favours the mother. My son and i are extremely close. She is in the music industry and I see my son every holidays including half terms where he comes to see me in Zimbabwe at great expense to me. She still receives full maintenance for the three months of the year plus that I see him. He complains she is never at home, has strangers looking after him, and she comes home in the late hours of the morning...sunrise, can't speak and falls asleep. He complains she drinks too much. He then has to watch her all day sleeping, whereupon she will wake up and start the whole circle again. She recently packed up my room in the marital home as we lived separately and my son witnessed the destruction of my property, photographs being cut up and i dread to know what else, as `i have not returned to the home since the separation and am waiting to go there after 10 months of being away. She abuses to my knowledge cocaine and possibly heroine too as a recent boyfriend was indeed the type....a musician...who proudly told the baby sitter that he hadn't slept for three days. I believe she thought when she informed me she wanted another divorce (as this is the second time around she has done this) that she thought I would stay living on in the UK and look after my son as i always have, but I can't do it any more with the mental cruelty I have suffered and physical abuse. She has done this before when she had met another man, both these times they have dumped her within weeks and she comes crawling back, however this time I have met a good person and realise what I went through was not normal and am going through with the divorce with her threats she will take me to the cleaners. She posts on social media insults lies about me and my new partner, and she was taken by surprise when she is now having to care for my son...I want advice on:
1: How to obtain a full drug test on her within the hair strand test time.
2: How to get access to my possessions in my house as she said i am only allowed in the garage? Needless to say this is the marital home which belongs to myself and no order has been made as to future tenancy of it for her as I only own a 52% share in it, the 48% belonging to my daughters from a previous marriage. The future of her living there is doubtful as it is owned by a company. I would like police presence when I go there and access, but what do i need to request this from the courts as i believe she would have changed locks or am entitled to? Also she will accuse me of doing something if I don't take police.
3: I believe she is very manipulative and vindictive and will plant drugs in my possessions.
If you have ever seen the file 'Gone Girl' you will see the personality she is....
She has recruited a top lawyer and trying to get me to pay costs and I am forced to represent myself due to the expenses.
4: My son is ged 7 and i have two older daughters 28 and 29 from a previous marriage.
5. I had started legal proceedings in Zimbabwe and they did too in England unbeknown to me. I was forced to make a deal to save myself her layers expenses and give them jurisdiction. Needless to say her lawyer interfered with my lawyer and said he was no longer working for me and he dismissed himself as i asked her to contact me directly in future as the jurisdiction was done and I did this to save her going and tapping up fees with him. But I never ended my contract with him. I have made a formal complaint to this Company.
6. The case has been transferred from one court to another as there was a lot of court errors. The judge had struck out the case, and it was then reinstated, and transferred.
Thanking you kindly for your advice.
Please use the email***@******.*** due to security issues.
Many thanks
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What is the current position regarding the divorce?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
It has been transferred to another court and I assume it will go back to the agreement I was bamboozled into making due to court and solicitors fees of the applicant I was told I was going to incur more if I didn't settle and not fight the jurisdiction. The agreement therefore was that uk has jurisdiction even though I reinstated the Zimbabwe divorce when the case got stuck out on the 15 th July. The petitioner then got the order struck out and reinstated it on grounds of court errors. I also complained to the courts as i had also been unjustly compromised as they never returned me an answer re a telephonic link request to my Zimbabwe lawyer which was another reason I agreed to stay my Zimbabwe divorce and not fight jurisdiction. But my Zimbabwe divorce is still in the wings as i reinstated it when the court struck it out initially. I then filed another complaint as the order had said it was transferred to one court but the apology and response from the courts said it had gone to another and it took me three days to get my Application to vary extends or discharge the order to the courts form fl403.i couldn't find guidance notes on this form so I haven't paid a free for it and neither did I know what had to accompany the form in the way of paperwork and I fear I filed an incorrect firm anyway as I asked that order 1 of the order gets stuck out.... The order of reinstatement of the petitioner due to her solicitors interference. So we await the next stage. They have filled a decree Nisi... And... Dissolution..... And their grounds for divorce and I do not contest the actual divorce.... So I'm assuming I'm waiting on the divorce to now be final as i fear the form fl403 will be ignored as no free was paid no paperwork except my complaint either accompanied the form due to my ignorance.i was actually looking for a firm to the courts to get her lawyer struck out.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Please tell me what i need to fill out so i don't pay petitioners costs and fees for any more issues. How i get a drugs test court order. How i get access to my house I'd she tries to stop me collecting my possessions even though there is no settlement yet.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Please bear in mind in the initial question form I filed out I did say I object to paying her fees as I had already paid for a Zimbabwe divorce. But they said I will incur all get costs and fees and more if I didn't fight the jurisdiction. I am domiciled in Zimbabwe and have always been so how can I be force to when the only assert I have is a52% share of a house and no income.