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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 71134
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I am currently dealing with a harassment issue against

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Hello, I am currently dealing with a harassment issue against my father. Separately he has followed, harassed and intimidated me with calls, txt, emails an in person. His last written contact was an email (6 pages long) highlighting all the good he has done. "I will not be a mug this time and walk away from material and emotional investment" and then informed me that there is a loan outstanding with him for 1333.33. Due to the Police involvement he has been told no contact other than through a solicitor. I received a letter with his demand for repayment or repayment schedule to be given. I do not owe him anything as far as I am aware. He did assist in a deposit but with no information about repayment or contract signed. my Mum was my guarantor for the property. Harassment and the financial I am aware are very different and need to be separate however his behaviour and me ignoring him led to his final act of this.
Thank you for your question. My name is ***** ***** I will try to help with this.
Are you asking if you have to pay?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No I do not owe him anything as there was no agreement made as to me having to do that. He at the time stated he wanted to help me out and help me to move as the 90 minute commute for a 7.30am was taking its toll.

I'm afraid it isn't that simple.
I'm not sure what your question is?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

There was no agreement made as to me owing him any money. No money entered from my account.

Since he was served with the harassment warning I have received a letter from a solicitor saying that I need to prove to them how I have already paid this. On speaking with them they told me has informed them that this was a verbal agreement made between us.

His email sent in June states that in October last year that he had decided to tell me it was written off as a birthday present for me in May. I never was informed of this.

What do I do to contest this letter and claim? What do I need to do to prove that I do not owe anything?

I am really sorry but I'm afraid you are substantially overestimated the strengths of your defence. There may well have been no agreement between you but that doesn't mean that the court will accept that. In fact, if you are an adult then almost certainly the court will say that there was an agreement to repay it.
If he is alleging that this was a loan then you can defend on the basis that it was a gift but I would not bet anything valuable upon success.
It might well be that a district judge would say that this was a soft loan which means that there weren't clear terms and conditions and interest rates agreed in advance because it was a loan between family members.
The email, if you have a copy, might be helpful although it is a double-edged sword because it tends to suggest that there was a loan which he decided to write off without your providing any consideration for it and so that doesn't per se amount to the disposal of the contract.
Of course, he might not have pursued it if you hadn't made an allegation about him to the police but you have and that cannot now be undone. It is one of the things that I would have counselled you against had you posted before doing so because the inevitable conclusion of making allegations against people is that they will want to act against you.
If you are intent upon defending this then you just write back saying that you assert that it was a loan and no money is due. If they sue then you defend on that basis.
How you prove something is an impossible question. The answer is that you give evidence in a way that is believed. I'm afraid that I would not be at all confident that you will succeed here.
I'm very sorry but I know how district judges think about things of this nature and they do not generally accept that large cash transfers between adults are gifts.
Can I clarify anything for you?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you for your frank but useful answer. There are a few factor:

To counsel someone to not go forth with a harassment complaint I do find concerning or is it that you mean on the basis of i should have been prepared for repercussions for that? The latter thought, I would state I was and very unnerved about this but knew it was necessary to safeguard myself.

For all financial obligations set for to me I have always adhered to. My Fathers history is significantly different having been bankrupt twice in the last 20 years including multiple suicide attempts which and this has been witnessed by professionals that he blamed me for. The harassment list came from a longstanding timeline and crudely as a list but one I was ever able to share for guilt. As an adult I thought I would be able to deal with these issues. Physically I was managing, however emotionally and mentally that has been tough. I am unable to eat due to physical deterioration and now reliant on intravenous nutrition. This means i am unable to leave house at night due to being dependent on a machine for 12 hours to administer myself nutrition. I am unable leave the home without assistance at that time due to a number of factors out of my control.

I moved from the discussed property in march 2014, in the last year I have only been able to be able to work for 6 months due to the changes in my condition. Within the last 4years I have had 2 long stays within hospital one leading to hospitalisation whilst I was at the property, for which he used the property to say in as needed for his work. No dispute from me there. However post my last admission it has resulted in me changing my job and tried to make life manageable and liveable. The terms he states in the letter from the solicitor that he made were that the loan would be paid off either when I moved out of the premises (for which he has also given the wrong number of the property and incorrect letting agent) or when able.

Due to the nature of my financial situation on moving to Central London I was in no situation to agree or request a lone. Which is why I had continued to commute. His insistance was that I moved to London to make life easier. He told me the deposit totalling 2333.33 for which I gave him £1000.00 towards. This was knowing that the amount of money was significantly higher than I felt comfortable with. I was told I was not to worry and that it was dealt with. My health was more important.

I have since these events as the nature of the complaint was not about the email but over his behaviour including stalking/txts/calls/emails for which he will have to answer to the police.

So if I assert that I did not obtain a loan for the deposit from my Father as I was informed this was his way of helping. 4 years later he can now say that he said it was a loan and I am left with no option to either contest and in your view lose. Or to pay the money based on the lie that I owe him that?

I am really sorry but I do suspect that a court would conclude this was a loan. A soft loan for certain. A Judge would probably take the view that he has only taken this action because you have reported him but that is the inevitable consequence and that doesn't mean he cannot recover.
You can contest it and you might be lucky. Family members though do buy each other expensive presents all the time but they don't usually make cash transfers I'm afraid.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you for your time. I do appreciate all the input and am aware that I am now in a no win situation.

I am aware now of the importance of contracts in the hard light of day. If an individual appears to want to help, and more importantly someone who has had parental responsibility that this is a means in this case that he has control and I am powerless. The fact that if I paid him money that I do not believe I owe, it would make no difference to his behaviour and will continue to do what he is doing to others around him.

A sad state of affairs that people are so cruel to each other.

Well, he may not sue.
If you have reported him to the police then I'm afraid that the chances are fairly high he probably would but there is nothing that can be done about that now.
Of course, he will behave in the same way. That isn't the issue. People don't usually change.
That said, nobody is forced in adult life to have anything to do with errant family. We all have family disputes and there is nothing in law that says you have to be contact with them. You are perfectly free to cut him off until he can behave better or at all if you choose.
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