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Thomas Judge
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 33517
Experience:  Barrister at Self Employed Barrister
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The Matter is about -Divorce-Child Custody, Social Services,

My daughter is divorced from... Show More
My daughter is divorced from an abusive/violent partner for 3 years now, but her ex continues to harass my daughter in any way he can. Both have 50-50 custody rights of the*****orders have arranged for handovers of kids but he regularly breaches them. Every time we complain to the court the district judge ignores every incidence-even though it is lodged with police. He has been now (last 8-9 months) brainwashing the kids ( aged 7 -boy, and 5 years -girl, young) to go against their mother, their grandparents (me and my wife) and our 22 years old son-with malicious lies and distortions. The ex-has a string of Police logged complaints against him yet he still gets away with it. He was arrested on 2 occasions and held overnight as well. But now we are concerned about the brainwashing of the kids- he has groomed the boy to hate his mother and when he is with us he turns abusive and aggressive towards his mother and my wife. So much that he has refused to come to our home as per normal handovers of 3-5 days with each partner alternatively. The girl is happy to stay with us every time. This is causing my daughter and us much distress. Social Services say they cannot do anything- they cannot intervene and the boy has the right to decide where he wants to live. I thought this right was not available until children are at least 16 or 18 years?? Social services are carrying out infrequent assessment of the kids via the school, and advance notice visits to the home of the kids father.
Please advise -are social services correct? What action can we take? The district judges totally ignored much evidence of malicious and violent behaviour of the ex partner in all the court proceedings for 2 years, even death threats (all voice recorded, attempted assault to me and my wife, attempted kidnapping of my wife's brother abroad via his father, etc.)- should the court have done that? We have lost all faith in the judicial system. We are a law abiding family with no criminal record of any kind, indeed from well connected professional background.
Rauf Mirza
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what would you like to happen?
Customer reply replied 2 years ago.


I/ we would like court orders in place to be enforced fully ( ex partner has has this clause in there for nearly 2 years to stop harassing my daughter and stop influencing / brainwashing the kids)...but court and social services are impotent. The judge will rely on social services for reports but social services are sitting on their hands looking the other way. See our dilemma. We want social services to warn ex partner...and to co firm their findings to the district court so current court orders/undertakingz are enforced. Our life here has been made a misery by the deliberate mischief and manipulations of the law by ex partner.

Can u please answer my specific questions please. Thanks

Firstly at the age of*****should not put much or indeed any weight on the wishes and feelings of the child. Where a parent is acting in the way that you suggest then this is a matter of emotional harm and the court should clearly take more seriously than they appear to be doing. The fact is that you need the court to properly investigate this matter and if they are not doing so then you need the judge to make an order which you can appeal to a more senior but different judge. Happy to discuss
Customer reply replied 2 years ago.

Just to confirm the Court ha snot been involved in recent events,, their last court order was from the hearing date of April 28th 2014. The reference to influencing negatively the children was in the court order of 21 March 2013...where it was clear both parents should not speak negatively about each other in front of the children.

What absolutely surprises me is how District Judge Crowe and one other have always refused to consider any complaints and evidence about the children's father in these hearings. Yet it is noted in the proceeding how vulnerable the elder child is! To compound it we have social services totally inept. During 2013 court session-the previous social worker was exposed for making wrong judgements, submitting factually incorrect reports on events to the court (which I challenged before the court), and yet again the judge relies on social services to make his/her decision. Blind justice?

So what can we do to protect the children from the fathers mischief and manipulations? My daughter has not seen her son for 2 weeks now because the son tells his mother- "I dont want to come to you ever" "i will decide when I am 16 and no one can make me".., "I want to stay with my father", and " grandad and grandma hit me"- the last is absolutely a malicious concoction since we have shown the most love to both of the kids. These are examples of brainwashing and emotional harm.

So- 1. how can we make social services accountable. 2. Should we go back to court with the recorded evidence of the kids utterances influenced by their father?



Well if you issue fresh proceedings you can seek an updated section 7 report which may in part resolve the issues which you have raised - this will also allow the court an opportunity to consider the issues which you have set out.Please remember to rate positively
I hope that helps - please can you rate positively for me - thanks
Customer reply replied 2 years ago.

Hello Thomas

Thanks for the response. im afraid that the judge will dismiss our concerns Again...ignore the mischief of the kids father..and end where we left off over a year ago...victims and losers.

To issue proceedings in court what will it cost and do we need a solicitor. The last 2 solicitors i have to say were poor..missing out key details, not contesting lies and slander from the ex partner, weak representation of facts, and failing to achieve basic outcomes like preventing the ex partner attending handovers or appearing to my daughter. I could have done a better job! services..what do we do about their accojntability?



That may well be right - but it really is the best chance you have of making something happen. You may wish to think about instructing a barrister directly for the hearings under the public (direct) access scheme. With respect to social services you can always escalate a complaint within the service if you have concerns. Happy to discuss but please rate positively - thanks
Customer reply replied 2 years ago.

Thanks. We couldn't afford a barrister! My daughter is a single mother, currently unemployed- the application I guess to court would be in her name.

Yes that would be correct - she would usually be able to get a fee exemption from the court
Customer reply replied 2 years ago.

Thanks Thomas!

my pleasure