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ukfamilysolicitor, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1441
Experience:  Qualified Solicitor Currently specialising in Family. Also experienced in Corporate, Employment, Civil Litigation, Debt Recovery
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I am a single parent with a 6 yr old daughter after my ex (we

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I am a single parent with a 6 yr old daughter after my ex (we were not married) left us for another woman. I understand this is quite common however I feel I have been treated poorly. To start with I was made to feel I was the guilty party and then felt forced out from our home (which he owned however I did pay for the new Kitchen & Bathroom. At the time I wasn't dealing with situation well and ended up leaving and finding a new home for us. Fortunately I had some money to put a deposit down but left with only £10,000 given by Ex (father of child) which was literally what I paid to have Kitchen/bathroom done after 9 years with him.
Since I have agreed that daughter see's child once a week (depending on holidays time) and the occasion of weekends (roughly every other week) again depending what we have on and holidays etc.
I feel I am being pressured by him to what rights he has to see our daughter. We have a busy life as it is and since this he has moved on, sold property and married this new person. Without No extra money coming to us. He pays the minimum £243 per month which literally just pays half the child care and that is it. However works self employed and I'm sure fiddles for what he really earns close to £60/70,000
1) Does he have the right to pressure me when arranging visiting dates ?
2) If I've made date plans and he chooses to avoid them and then contacts my childminder who has my child without me this allowed ?
3) Does what I say go, in that he has to work around us as it was him that left us?
4) Should he be paying more?
5) Can he take custody?
6) Does he have the right to control our lives and make me feel tense and jump everytime my phone goes that he's hassling me about seeing our daughter.
7) I thought staying in the local area was a good thing for my daughter, I am now wishing I moved several miles away....who's fault will that be.
I understand I cannot stop him but I give him dates. He made me give dates from September - December.
6) I feel there is no one that can answer all my questions. I just want a quiet life without having to feel that I have him to answer too as it was him that walked and left us to defend for ourselves.
Sorry for all the questions
Hope you can help.
Hello Angie
Welcome to Just Answer
Thank you for your question. I am a Solicitor.
I am sorry but a Court would not consider factors such as your ex having left you when deciding how much time your daughter should spend with her father.
The Courts consider that it is a child's right to spend time with both parents unless there are children protection concerns as to why this should not happen.
The Courts also like a child to have the stability of a routine - so that your daughter knows exactly when she will be spending times with her parents.
If you can agree a schedule with your ex - then this could help your situation as hopefully he will contact you less in relation to seeking to agree when he will next see your daughter.
If you can't agree a schedule between you then your ex could make an application to the court for a Child Arrangement Order in relation to the time that he spends with your daughter.
Before your ex could make an application to the court he would have to firstly refer to a Family Mediation Service to see if they can assist you both agreeing a schedule.
The courts do prefer parents to try and agree a schedule rather the court having to make an order. It therefore really is better to try and agree a schedule rather than having the court make an order - which quite well might give your ex more time with your daughter then you are currently willing to agree on.
If your daughter has lived with you, then it is very unlikely that a court would change your daughters residence to that of your ex.
I note that you have asked about whether your ex could collect your daughter from her child minder without your consent. If your ex has parental responsibility for your daughter (named on her birth certificate) then he technically could. One would hope that your child minder would contact you and not hand over you daughter to anyone without your consent, however if this did happen then you could issue urgent applications at court for return of your daughter to your care and also a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent your ex doing the same again in the future.
In relation to your ex and maintenance - I note that you state that he is paying the minimum - but you think he earns more. It is hard to get the CMS to believe you if you don't have proof. You could however consider making an application to the court for a Schedule 1 Children Act Claim. This is an order for the benefit of your daughter and can include:
1. Periodical payments, (ie maintenance, subject to the Child Maintenance and Enforcement Commission’s jurisdiction).
2. Lump sum payments (to cover capital expenditure for the benefit of the child). 3. Settlement of Property to be made for the benefit of the child, (on trust).
4. Transfer of Property for the benefit of the child.
5. School fees order.
The criteria considered by the court for these types of applications is:
a.) The income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each person has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future.
b.) The financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each person has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future.
c.) The financial needs of the child.
d.) The income, earning capacity (if any), property and other financial resources of the children.
e.) Any physical or mental disability of the child.
f.) The manner in which the child has been or is expected to be educated or trained.
Kind Regards
Please kindly rate my answer. Positive feedback is gratefully received. Happy to discuss further.
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