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ukfamilysolicitor, Solicitor
Category: Law
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Experience:  Qualified Solicitor Currently specialising in Family. Also experienced in Corporate, Employment, Civil Litigation, Debt Recovery
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My ex partner left me about two weeks ago cause he said i wasn't

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my ex partner left me about two weeks ago cause he said i wasn't talking to him and that he was worried bout getting kicked out cause he couldn't pay his rent now he has for those past two weeks been saying he wanted me back and to come back and be a family but we had to sort out a few things first we are expecting a baby in January but only recently have i found out though his sister that he met someone new he never told me about her i have told him that i didn't want my child near her one because i don't know her i seen her bout a few times when my partner at the time has stopped to talk to her and as far as i know she hangs out with people that do drugs and have had there kids taken of them my ex partner has done drugs in the past and has a conviction which he claims to be wrong as he acted in self defence he also has two kids from a relationship before which he doesn't see cause his ex had a restraining order put on him then move away he now lives with his new girlfriend and is threatening to take me to court when baby is born cause i don't want my child anywhere near his new girlfriend i have never told him he cant see our baby just that i don't want this girl near my child he said he would agree and not let her near but i don't think that he means what he says as he has lied to me before and along with that he hasnt managed to keep a job in 8 months hes gone though 3 jobs i don't work as i have a one year old from an old relationship before him and i cant afford to pay for child care as im a single mum i do get benefits so i have a source of income to look after my children and my family to help out if i really needed it i have kept all the texts we have sent for prove he wants shared custody 3 days with him and 4 with me but i don't want my child staying with him over night as he lives with this girl and i cant trust him as he has lied to me before would you give me an idea on what would happen and what help i would get if he takes me to court in January
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a family solicitor and will try and help you.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you are experiencing with your ex partner.
It is a child's right to be able to spend time with both parents when it is safe for them to do so.
There are lots of concerning factors in your description. I note that your ex has spent time in prison and that he has not been honest with you in relation to why, he has been involved in drugs, his previous ex has a restraining order against him and he doesn't see his two children from a previous relationship but that he doesn't see them. I note that you are also concerned that his current partner has also had has her children removed.
This is all very concerning stuff. You have a duty to protect your child.
I note that you are not opposed to promoting a relationship between your baby and your ex and he appears to be demanding shared care - I would be very cautious given what you gave described. If you do want to promote contact then you need to make sure it's safe.
You should make some enquiries with social services about any history that may concern them in relation to both your ex and his current girlfriend. If social services make any recommendations then you should be guided by them.
If Social Services say unsupervised contact is ok then this needs to be at your daughters pace. As a tiny baby it is not really in her best interests to be spending so much time away from you. Perhaps offer a few hours initially and then increase this over time.
If your ex isn't happy with your proposals then he could look at making an application to the court. Your ex won't be able to apply straight to the court - he would have to make a referral to mediation first otherwise his court application would be rejected.
If mediation doesn't work then he could make an application to the court - but just because he is the one that is applying does not mean that the court will agree that what he is demanding is in your daughters best interests. Before the first court hearing - a child and families officer would speak to both of you. You should tell this person about your concerns. The officer would also undertake police and social services checks on both of you - his history will come up and from what you've said - I am sure this will concern the court. You should also request that the checks are undertaken on his new partner - if they are living together and your child would be spending time at their house. The court will only make orders that are in your child's best interest.
With your level of concerns - you need to hold your ground.
If your ex has been physically, emotionally or financially abusive towards you in the last two years then you might be able to get legal aid and the help if a solicitor. See this link for more information:
In relation to Maintenance - look at making an application to the Child Maintenance Service when your baby us born.
ukfamilysolicitor and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Kind Regards
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