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ukfamilysolicitor, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1439
Experience:  Qualified Solicitor Currently specialising in Family. Also experienced in Corporate, Employment, Civil Litigation, Debt Recovery
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I hope you can help a friend of mine. He lives in fear of leaving

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I hope you can help a friend of mine. He lives in fear of leaving his wife. His wife suffers very bad mood swings and a year ago had a terrible mood swing in front of the two young children. My friend picked her up by the arms and locked her out of the house and went to console his terrified kids. When the situation had calmed down she entered the house and said that he had bruised her arm, which he had accidently. She then took photos of it and said he would use it against him if he left her and make sure he would never see the children. My friend I'd not a violent person and was only trying to protect his children.
My question is, could this happen if he left his wife?
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will assist.
Please can I ask:
- the incident described was a year ago?
- how often are the mothers mood swings?
- what was the last incident?
- how old are the children?
- has you friend reported her behaviour to police / social services?
Kind Regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
The incident was a year ago and was the last incident. The mood swings were regular but hasn't had one since the incident last year.
The children are 18 months and 5 now. The 18 month old has a rare genetic disease. He has not reported the problem to anyone as he feels too ashamed.
Thank you for your response and for clarifying that for me.
I was concerned that if the mothers behaviour was continuing then your friend and his children could be at risk.
If the mother was to act aggressively towards your friend or the children in the future - then I advise that your friend reports matters to the police and also considers a non molestation order.
Going back to your original question - that being what could the mother do if she alleged domestic violence?
In relation to divorce - maybe should could this as a reason for unreasonable behaviour. If your friend denies the allegation but wants to get divorced - then he could state the same on the response to the divorce - that being that he denies what is being alleged but agrees the marriage has broken down and that he will reserve his right to defend such allegations if she tries to rely on them in any other proceedings. That would be that.
In relation to matrimonial finances - it is very highly likely that her allegation would make no difference in relation to any settlement.
In relation to the children - if she tried to deny your friend a relationship with them on the basis that he was violent - then your friend should first go to mediation and then make an application to the court for a child arrangement order. The court would decide on the balance of probabilities who was more believable. Even if a court did find that violence had occurred then this does not mean that your friend wouldnt be able to have a good relationship with his children.
Kind Regards
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Many many thanks for the reply. I will tell him straight away and put his mind at risk and let go of the feeling like he's living over a barrel.
Can't thank you enough.
Your are very welcome.
Courts consider that it is children's rights to have relationships with their parents. Even if there was violence - it doesnt mean a parent would be violent to their children. Your friend should just explain everything he has been through.
Your friend might also be able to access legal aid. The Rules for Legal Aid have changed and is only now available when Domestic Violence evidence can be obtained.
Domestic Violence has a wide definition.
If your friend has suffered physical, emotional or financial abuse in the last two years and if he can get evidence and he also qualifies on means then he may be able to get legal aid and a solicitor to help. Please see this link - in particular the GP letter - if his GP is satisfied that he is suffering from a condition such as stress as a result of her wife's behaviour and he completes the template letter - then he should take this to a Legal Aid Solicitor for a financial assessment.
Kind Regards
Please remember to rate positively. No credit is received for our work unless positive feedback is received.
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