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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 71053
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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My ex wasn't to silence me regarding his dirty secrets by using

Customer Question

my ex wasn't to silence me regarding his dirty secrets by using a harassment order, so I dot tell his wife or work collegues. can he do this?.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
sorry wasn't should be wants
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
he has now told me not to visit the home, even though he introduced his wife to me, and wanted me to befriend her.
She has not told me that she no longer wants me to contact her, but i believe he has told her that I am stalking him, as she has become very distant for no reason.
He owes me money, which i took out a small claims against him, he asked me to discontinue it and he would have a agreement drafted so he would pay me back and if he defaulted i could use the agreement to inform others of his bad behaviour. I stupidly discontinued the case, and he paid a £1000 of the debt,but now want me to sign a agreement stating that once payment made, I was to have no contact with him directly or indirectly. He could not take the chance of going to court as if it got out it would ruin his career. He has a job working with children, but has fetish likes that his employer would not agree to so would dismiss him. I just feel that he would be using the law to shut me up from speaking about our affair and his sexual activities, and if I did then I could end up with a criminal record. This affair lasted 8 years.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I would also like to mention that we never signed a agreement for payment for me discontinuing the claim. Reason being he changed the original version. could I have the claim reinstated.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
also he refuses to speak with me regarding the claim, he has only comunicated with me by text, which is very complex to do, I have called him, but he never returns the calls, just replies by text.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your question. My name is ***** ***** I will try to help with this.
Yes' he can Im afriad.
He is entitled to ask you to stop contacting him directly or indirectly and making an approach to his wife is making indirect contact. In fairness, what other purpose does it serve other than to cause him annoyance and alarm if you tell her that you had an affair ?
The money is entirely different. You can sue for that. Please be aware though that whether he has had an affair and any preference that he has will have absolutely no impact upon his career. It is nothing to do with his employer.
Can I clarifh anything for you?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thanks for your answer. does that also mean I can't speak of the affair. I think your wrong about his sexual preferences having a impact on his career. he is a vicar
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
It doesn't matter. Vicars are free to have relationships and during the course of them they have sex. They have the same libido as everybody else and are doing nothing wrong.In terms of speaking about the affair, it depends what you mean. If you speak about it to people in a way that is going to affect him adversely then that is harassment.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
are you referring to civil or criminal law. as i am lead to believe the criminal law states you must have experienced at least two incidents by the same person or group of people for it to be harassment.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
There is only one harassment act.
The law actually says 'pursues a course of conduct'. It doesn't demand two incidents. Doing something like approaching his wife or getting somebody else to approach her would be enough on one incident.
I think anyway he is probably saying that the first act of vexation is the threat to do so which you appear to have already made and that is certainly correct in law.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
excuse me,i have made no threat of contacting his wife.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
What lead to him making the point that doing so would be harassment?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
me wishing to discuss the court claim that he asked me to discontinue and settle between ourselves. he then refused to give me what he promised a written agremment regarding how he was going to pay and over what time. I then said he was welcome to come to my house to discuss the matter or i could come to his....then he said i was not welcome. but I don't believe we can draw up an agreement by text....
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Well, you can.
Actually it is probably safer if you do as it is in writing.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
but him sending me a text only a few days stating, he sent to me on friday 30/10 at 16.26
I want us to repair what i have broken,and make something we both loved and both missed come back to life, saying that is not playing mind gamed-its putting myself at your mercy....and then sunday when I told him i was coming to his house he said he would see that as harassment.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Well, it may be mind playing. Often accusers do that.
It doesn't mean that your actions cannot be harassment.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 2 years ago.
Is there anything else you wanted to know?