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Alice H
Alice H, Solicitor/Partner
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 2850
Experience:  Partner in national law firm
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I stupidly believed the man I was seeing last 3 years

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I stupidly believed the man I was seeing for the last 3 years was single. I believed all his lies about been in financial difficulty and because he made me believe we were going to be together and have a family I stupidly helped him. Somewhere in the region of 5,000 pounds. I have bank statements showing the transfer of 3,400 pound to his bank account and receipts for goods purchased. On finding out he was actually engaged and living with another women 5 weeks ago, I threatened to go to the police and he said he would pay me back the money at 20 pound a week by standing order. To which he has and money is going into my account. My concern is at any point he could stop doing this. I just need to know if I one should have gone to the police as I feel I have been duped and he fraudulently obtained money from me through financial and emotional abuse. Secondly I would like to know if I went to a solicitor would I be able to enforce that the money us paid back.
Good morning - my name is ***** ***** I am happy to help you today.
Does this person have any assets/property that you know of?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am unsure sorry
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He told me he was living at his mothers after his divorce 3+ years ago. Then last summer after his court case he said he moved into his cousins house as he was receiving threats from the family of the person who got sent down. I'm unsure of the full facts behind the court case but I think it was fraud related and he himself was looking at serving a minimum of 3 years if found guilty.
Thing is I am unsure as to what has been a lie or what has been the truth now since finding out that he is in fact engaged. I know the court case was real though as you could follow it online
Thanks for the additional information. This kind of fraud is often committed on Internet dating sites - a prospective partner is given a sob story and asked for money after which the fraudster disappears. It seems to me that you may have been the victim of a similar scam by somebody who has clearly tricked you into handing over money - plus that person is not a stranger to the court system. In order to prove fraud, you have to show the other person was dishonest - the fact that he spun you a story which is probably untrue is sufficient. You could report this matter to the police and see if they will take action and it might persuade him to pay up sooner but the risk is that as he is repaying the money, if you go to the police now he might stop paying so you'll be worse off. It might be worthwhile getting a solicitor to write to him to at least get his agreement to repay you in writing - then if he stops paying you can use that to collect the balance. Ultimately though it's s question of whether this man has enough money to repay you in one go - if he doesn't have anything there's little point in spending time and money pursuing him now and you might be better waiting for him to pay the debt off slowly.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I did initially meet this man on an internet dating site. I do have screenshots of all the conversations I have had with him for the last few weeks so I can prove that he is a liar and that he stated he will pay me the money back. I think maybe I Should try and get something officially written up and signed in case the money stops. I want to go to the police I guess I'm just scared they will think I'm pathetic and stupid, although the continual harassment I am receiving from his current girlfriend might possibly end then.
There is nothing pathetic or stupid about this - you have been tricked and are entitled to your money back. There is nothing wrong with going to the police; even if they can't take immediate action they might be able to help you with recovering your money plus they will tell his girlfriend to stop harassing you.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you, ***** ***** going to see a councillor tomorrow to discuss what has happened as it has had a negative impact on all aspects of my life. I need closer from this and 3 years of lies is a lot to get my head around. Thank you for your advice I think I will contact a solicitor and get something official in writing and definitely consider contacting the police regarding both him and her as I would hate for him to be doing this to another person.
No problem. Please remember to take a moment to rate my answer. Happy to discuss further if needed. Alice
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