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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34902
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I have just got my divorce NISI bu cross petitition pronouned

Customer Question

I have just got my divorce NISI bu cross petitition pronouned yesterday. I need to have some communications on going with my ex-husband because of our son's medical condition. I know he does not want this and is one of the reason's our marriage broke down.
DO you have any suggestion?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further information firstWhat communication do you need to have?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My son has a chronic Kidney failure condition (CKD) at stage 3b botherline 4. There emerging now are the various decisions that need to be made regarding his needs, usually needs to be made at stage 4 as CKD end stage requiring replacement therapy such as dialysis/transplant decision.

My son refuses to communicate directly with his dad because he knows he will hurt him emotionally at any chance he gets. He also knows his dad does not really care or wishes to communicate with him, just a pretence on his part with the email . The court allows his father to communicate with him only by email due to physical abuse in the past and his lack of interest in him, the reason his father had to leave the family home. He has never replied any. He is 15 now.

Unfortunately he is aware that his dad has been hostile to me because of my support for him due to the way he treated us to his face. His dad has also written to his school to terminate his contract with the school regarding his school fees, claiming it's because he is upset with me. I have tried to get information regarding his medical to him, he blocks this with further maliscious accusation of me being a nuisance contacting him and that I was stalking him!. He would not mention my son's name or refer to him the one time I had managed to speak with him and has said to my face that he has disowned him for talking to caffcass. Yet he tells people that I block information from him regarding his son's well being. I found this upsetting even if I don't want to be.

His dad's behaviour is financially motivated. His extreme hostility has always been to avoid any form of responsibilty, but insanely protect his loyalty to his brother and his children and his evil sister who are extremely controlling of him. His son is aware of his father's collective family hostility towards him.

If possible I want to be able to communicate the

- essential information regarding any important development that could affect my son medically. To do so I need to stop him telling people I block information from him. I know my son wishes his involvement, he just struggles until he gave up, knowinghis dad would use it negatively..

- I need to stop his dad lying to people that he spends time with his son and he is sure I put things in his son's head when he has not met with his son or spoken with him since 25 December 2013, leaving him in distress and broken promise as always on that occassion. When people meet my son and mentioned this it causes him extreme distress and anger. I struggle with my son, though I understand his fraustration. I want him to have peace. His dad attacks peace. I want to communicate this to his dad so he can stop.telling people lies for his own reasons. I know he will ignore me so I need advise how I could make him realise the damage this is doing to my son.

I know his dad believes divorce means that he does not have any parental responsibility towards his son.

please advise steps i could take - eg

1. can I apply for an order to stop his maliscious accusations as a cover up and means of dealing with his relationship with his son which is causing further damage

2. can I ask for an order regarding information about his son' medical he must accept as this is an especially serious and potentially life threatening medical situation.etc

I await your advise please

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Your ex is sadly not interested in his son.
You cannot force him to be interested
These facts are sad but true
You cannot force him to be interested - not can you stop him saying that it is your fault he has no details
What you can do is email him with updates once a month - or after significant appointments - but never more than twice a month and make them factual messages only
That is it - there is no other court order you can obtain
I am sorry