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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 32177
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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In 2007 I finally managed to break free of a very abuse marriage.

Customer Question

In 2007 I finally managed to break free of a very abuse marriage. At the time I was living in an ex council property that I was the only named person on the lease and then the only one on the mortgage.I purchased it in 2002. My ex husband would never pay any money towards the mortgage or daily living needs, nor did he provide financially for his two children. My ex husband spent extortionate amounts of money racing cars, going away to watch rallies, doing cars up- this included ordering bespoke parts for these vehicles along with purchases of new archery equipment. It wasn't until the divorce that I found out about the amount of money he had spent & associated debt.
Due to his violent and often cruel treatment it was easier to carry on paying for the family house to ensure some sort of security for my two children than it was to ask for any money to of then being faced with aggressive horrible outbursts towards not only me but quite often he would pick on my son too. There Were many horrible times throughout the marriage but I was weak and emotionally unstable I would just except his behaviour while always trying to shelter the children from any violence. I was a very,scared,beaten down and what I know now - clinically depressed. The night I left was following two days of shouting, aggression, violence and what was a regular occurrence he would break things that were mine & he would always try find something he knew meant a lot me and smash it.I worked part time but around this time I had started taking time off work because I felt so pathetic and downtrodden. I had very little confidence in myself to deserve anything better. The day I left - he was working on one of his zlatest projects to rebuild a mini and he had broken the boot lid while trying to fit it he was furious. He came back in the house from the garage aggressive, argumentative so I went up to bed. He followed me upstairs to continue the aggression he very nasty. He had his hands round my throat at times pushing me to the floor, he smashef my jewerly off the dressing table. He snapped my gold chain & cross give to by my late grandad. Trying to move downstairs away from the kids rooms he grabbed my mobile phone out of hand smashing it down the stairs, he tried to push me down the stairs but I grabbed the spindles of the staircase and gripped on, but the noise had woken the kids who had come out of their bedrooms. Both my son ( who was 11yrs old at the time) and my daughter (who was 8yrs old) were now hysterical begging him to leave me alone and not hurt me. My ex husband sent them both back in their bedrooms & told me to get downstairs as he said we needed to talk. He wouldn't let me pass him to go back upstairs to see the children were OK.15 minutes later the police arrived, they had received a report of a domestic disturbance and wanted to know if everything was OK. I said I was ok but they kept trying to ask me if I was really ok When out of my ex's ear shot.I fell apart when the police asked if they could see the children, they were both in bed but they insisted because it was my 11 year old son who had called the police terrified I was in danger and he was scared. When the went to talk to him they found him 'asleep' which he later told me he was pretending to be asleep because he was too scared.I had to leave the house with the kids for just a couple of days and somehow get him out of my house. As soon as he was asleep I grabbed a few bits got the kids & left. I went to a friends house they had gone to Australia for 6 months & I had a spare set of keysI contacted my ex saying told him it was over & I wanted him out of my house the kids needed to be at home & have normal routines like going to school. He surprisingly agreed, acknowledging his violence was out of control, but He then continued spending the next 3.5 years stalking me, Knocking on my door in the early hours shouting I was still his wife. I was emotionally wrecked on anti depressants & sleeping tablets, I needed a fresh & seen a house I wanted to buy & mine sold within weeks. I filed for divorce. He could not evidence any financial input in the house,all bills & mortgage in my name.He had large debts which I ended up having to pay half of as well £10k to loose his rate to claim anything from NHS pension. I paid him further £20k post sale.He demanded a further £10k.I didn't have any money.I couldn't borrow anymore.He harassed me constantly.The new house threatened terminate sale due to delays exchanging.His solicitor ordered £10k be put on charge against my house. To be paid;if I remortgage,sell, remarry etc.I was mentally unwell &would of signed anything to escape the horific violence.That was 30/11/2007.Today I am a strong,independent educated lady.I would like to pursue a legal case with regard this charge.Outcome would be removal of the charge following careful consideration to situation I was faced &influencing factors forcing my decision to accept. Dr J Harrison-Taylor
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further information first.Are you saying that there was a Consent Order within Divorce proceedings dealing with the finances?If so what was the actual percentage split of the capital?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi, thanks for getting back to me.
The financial terms in the divorce were stated, only the £20,000 post sale ( I was told that he would stand good ground to claim monies regardless that he didn't pay towards the house due to the number of years we were married) this was on the advice of my divorce solicitor. The same solicitor also advised me to add my pension and he advised the set amount of money to offer my ex husband and he accepts that money & signed to say it was full settlement & he could not make a further claim against my pension when it matures. Those two financial agreements are in the divorce paperwork. My solicitor advised me not to agree to any further payments to my ex husband including the additional £10,000 he demanded as a last minute plot to manipulate me. I was too unwell to even think straight & I had the added pressure of my ex hassling me all the time and I signed to try out an end to it.
I'm away until the weekend I do have all the documents at home- they may take some finding! I do not have a scanner so not sure how I would be able to get them too you to view?Kind regards
Jo***** *****on-Taylor
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
It would be helpful to see the Order - it can be attached via the paperclip icon