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Harris, Law Specialist
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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My ex who has a history of abuse with myself and this

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/Hello, my ex who has a history of abuse with myself and this has been registered with social services has demanded i meet him halfway to meet his son instead of our agreed meeting point at my nearest station he also demands to know my address which i refuse to give him. he is currently threatening me to make my life hell this year if i do not answer to his demands. he currently gives me 30£ a month as his way of child support as i do not demand any monies from him. legally do i have to do as he states?
Hi, thanks for your question.
If there has been domestic violence or there are concerns (especially with him currently threatening you) then you should not be facilitating the handover of your son for contact arrangements due to the potential risks. Is there a court order in place to regulate contact? Also, how far away does he live from you?
In relation to the child support he pays, is there a child maintenance application in place that calculated the amount he is paying? If not, please confirm his gross income each year, how many other children are in his care and how many nights (on average) your son stays with him - I will then be able to tell you what the legal amount of child maintenance he has to pay is.
Please let me know if you have any further questions regarding this.
Harris and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi I do not have any court orders in place we were never married and did not undergo any legal separations.
He lives 20.6 miles from myself. He works a zero hours contract so i do not know his earnings. I dont believe he pays any child support but has 2 other children he does not live with either. He has my son 2 nights a month that is every other weekend for one night. I am not interested in collecting child support but rather to stop his demands on how an where he sees my son and to know where I live as of his violent nature.
Given the threats of violence and past domestic abuse you do not have to disclose your address to him and I would suggest that you do not agree to meet him in person given the history and continuing threats made.
In the circumstances I would suggest that you inform him that he would either need to arrange for an independent person to facilitate the handover in a local place in your area, or if that's not possible for a referral to be made to a local contact centre to assist with handover - most contact centres offer this service and you can drop off your son at a specific time and leave, and the father will then come, say after 10-15 minutes to collect him - the same is done when he returns your son after contact. 20 miles is not far for him to travel especially if it is an overnight contact session.
If he does not agree to these proposals you can suspend contact due to the domestic violence concerns and it will be for him to make an application to court for a child arrangement order.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I will look into the contact centre as advised but please do clarify legally do I have to meet him halfway or even go to a halfway contact centre? As he feels that it is unfair come to my area. i dont care about his feeling but am desperate to have the law on my side.
Secondly his threats have not been of violence but rather openly letting me make deductions. As in the past it has usually been threatening and violent but since we have split up he has threatened to inform the immigration about a relative of mine living with me. He feels he has the upper hand but I am in the process of getting this relative back to their home but it still poses a concern.
How do I go about posing a legal suspension of contact?
The threats he are making seem to be causing emotional harm to you, which is still abuse.
You do not have to meet him half-way as he has demanded and the courts would usually wish to see that you are promoting the contact between him and your son - which so far it appears you have done. However, the history of violence and current emotional abuse and threats would be used to support your position not to have to meet him face to face.
You can either inform him directly that you wish to promote contact but do not see it appropriate that you travel half-way, or you can refer the matter to a solicitor in your local area to write him a warning letter and a letter proposing the arrangements.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes this is currenty extremely emotionally exhaustive for myself, and my son as he has become aggressive during a pick up session. So you advise to contact a local solicitor to arrange this proposals?
If you do not feel up to informing him of the arrangements a letter from a solicitor would be the best option
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
alright thank you as I figured that would be next step
Hope it goes well - you can ask for me directly by starting your message For Harris if you have issues in the future