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ukfamilysolicitor, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1437
Experience:  Qualified Solicitor Currently specialising in Family. Also experienced in Corporate, Employment, Civil Litigation, Debt Recovery
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In the summer my son got his girlfriend pregnant despite

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Hi, In the summer my son got his girlfriend pregnant despite her being on the pill. She claimed she had IBS which after an attack rendered the pill void hence a pregnancy occurred. My son would like to be a father one day but not like this and he felt very angry and panicked. Although being 32 at the time the relationship was not that strong. The girl had a termination (very reluctantly) because my son told her without being pregnant they could try and give the relationship another go.It caused great stress for her, my son and us. My son wanted to end the relationship but felt he had to support her while she recovered from the ordeal of a termination. She had an implant fitted you prevent a further pregnancy but Christmas time she was pregnant again! We are all devastated by this news but even more so as she has now admitted to not having the implant and getting pregnant on purpose because 'she wanted a baby'. She lied to us,my son, and her family. We wonder now if she was ever on the pill in the first place. She is refusing a termination as she says she has to replace the baby she had terminated in the summer. My son says there is no way he can ever have a relationship with her as he can't trust her and doesn't love her. She has moved back in with her mum but keeps hounding my son with phone calls. My son is desperately unhappy about the situation as he has been deceived and manipulated by her. He wants to do right by the baby and have access etc but wondered what his rights are legally? He is the innocent party in all this and his ex girlfriend has got just what she set out to get. I would be very grateful for any help. Thank you Diana
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and assist you.
Please may I ask - has your son confirmed to the mother that he would like a relationship with his child when the baby is born? What has the mother said?
Kind Regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes he would like a relationship with the child. His ex girlfriend lives an hour away and sometimes she says she will bring the baby to him and the other days my son will have to travel to her. She says that my son will never be allowed to see the baby on his own and for the first year of its life she will always have to be there as well. She has told him that as she lives an hour away she and the baby will stay the night and my son will have to move to the spare room as she will need the double bed so it's easier for her to breast feed during the night.
Quite a few demands then!
- why is she saying that it needs to be supervised for a year ? Any child protection concerns or just because of the age of the child?
Kind Regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I don't believe she has any child protection concerns, I believe it's more to do with her bonding with the baby and as she was so desperate to get pregnant she will want to spend every moment she can with the baby. She did say that she was concerned my son would run off with the child but that is just ridiculous and founded on nothing at all! My husband and I believe she is a little unstable as she once tried to take her own life.
Thank you for confirming that for me.
If this works for a short time then ok - but this shouldn't have carry on for ever. Realistically anything more than a few months supervised is an unfair request from the mother - if your son is able to meet the care needs of his child.
I'm a bit concerned from what you have said that it is a possibility that the mother is going to be obstructive to contact in the future- so I am going to provide you with the information as to what you need to do - should that happen.
It is the view of the family courts that children are entitled to have a relationship with both of their parents unless there are any child protection concerns.
The court considers that children benefit from a routine and should have the knowledge of when they are going to next spend time with their other parent. The current emphasis is very much that both parents should have equal rights.
The family courts can make a child arrangement order to confirm the time that a child can spends with both their parents. This type of order is particularly useful if your son is denied contact, just because the mother changes her mind, when she feels like it.
The first step to trying to reach an agreement, if the mother wont agree, is to refer your matter to Family Mediation. Mediation will try and help them both try and agree without the need to make an application to court. There are lots of mediation services and there will be one local to you. Just google Family Mediation in your area to find one.
If agreement cant be reached at mediation or the mother wont engage in mediation then your son can apply to court for a Child Arrangement Order and the court will make the decision as to what the outcome should be.
The decision being made by the court as to what is in your grandchilds best interest. If your son appears to have been committed to his daughter and the court will recognise this.
Please note that you do have to make a referral to mediation before you can apply to court for a child arrangement order. If you dont the court will reject your application.
If the mother does not include your son on the child's birth certificate then he can also ask the court for a parental responsibility order.
These types of applications are made on Form - C100. Send to local family court. The court fee is £215.
Before the first hearing a Children and Families Officer (Cafcass) will undertake police and social services checks in respect of your son and the mother. They will also speak to them both. If Cafcass do not consider that there are any protection issues when their checks have been completed then this will come down to the mother being obstructive to contact.
If you do have any concerns in the future about the mother of a child protection nature then you should report this to the police/ social services so they can investigate.
Please do not hesitate to ask if I can clarify anything for you.
Kind Regards
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for the info. Just one more thing - does my son have to pay for the child re his care costs? It hardly seems fair when this child was conceived without my sons permission. If the answer is yes who decides how much?
Yes - the mother could make a claim to the Child Maintenance Service.
They have a useful calculator on their website which will indicate his liability:
Kind Regards
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Sorry for delay but please could you tell me if the reply you gave me is applicable in the UK. Thanks
My sincere apologies for my delay in responding to you today.
Yes - I am a Solicitor in England and therefore the information is applicable to England and Wales.
Kind Regards