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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 71153
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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My ex and me met up last week and ended up having an argument.

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Hi, my ex and me met up last week and ended up having an argument. I had a bit too much to drink and got really upset and did not want to let him go so stood in front of the door. He tried to push my away and threw my to the ground. We were shouting at each other and while struggling with each other I broke his suitcase. He went to the police and reported my for domestic violence. The policed now asked to come to the Station for a statement and I'm scared now as I do not know whats going to happen to me. I never had Abu trouble with the police before and I am so worried. Me and my ex have spoken since and I have paid for his broken luggage and I apologise for my actions. Can you let me know what I can expect when I go to see the police? Do i need a solocitor?
Are you female?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Have either of you called the police before?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No never
Will he give evidence against you?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I don't know.
He's been to the police that night and I don't know what he told them.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I don't know if that makes any difference but when he pushed me I got hurt quite a bit. I have a massive bruise on my arm and head.
Well, has he done this before to others?Does he have a background of calling the police?Did he, to your knowledge, grow up in a house where the police were always being called?Do all his relatives make allegations of abuse?It is unusual in men but possible if they have been exposed to this kind of behaviour.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No to all of your questions as far as I know.
Can you tell me what I have to expect when I go to the police? Should I answer their questions or do I need a solicitor? I'm actually completely overwhelmed right now because I have no idea what is going to happen.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I do not want him to get in any trouble over this but neither do I want to get in trouble. It was a stupid horrible argument that got out of hand when it shouldn't have.
You do need a solicitor but they will offer you one.Whether you answer questions or not depends really upon whether you think he is going to give evidence. If he doesn't have a history of doing this then probably he won't be all that keen. It might well be that he has just made this report to head off a complaint about him or when he was angry. It is not normal to find men who use the police as a mediation service. It is much more common to find women who do that. It is possible as the truth is that if a person, male or female, has grown up in a house where the police are summonsed up to every argument then it becomes normalised. I would suggest though that you would probably know by now if he were that type of person. They are not usually able to keep their professional victim status hidden.Therefore, you might be better served by making a no comment interview since you don't have a defence. The question is whether they will let him withdraw. If he were female and you were male they would summons him but you are not so they may allow him to retract. Also, he doesn't have a history of wasting their time.If you think he might give evidence then it might be better to answer questions as they will probably offer a caution. The trouble with cautions is that they are blemishes upon your good character. They are not as bad as convictions but they are not good.Can I clarify anything for you?Jo
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Do you think I shouid ask him if he plans to give evidence?
No. Although you are not on bail with conditions not to talk to him yet there are offences that do cover making that type of contact.Just draw a conclusion from the facts that you know. For instance, if he is making contact of a pleasant kind with you now and he doesn't have a background of doing this then probably he won't be keen. Men generally are socialised not to malinger in quite the same way that women are allowed to. Also, he might not want to come to court and be cross examined about his behaviour.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Ok I will not ask. We have spoken since that night already though quite a bit. I did not realise until today the police will actually contact me. We apologised to each other after the incidence happened via email and I paid for the broken suitcase. He also owed my a lot of money which has paid back since the incident happened.
Thank you so much for your answers so far.
Then he is probably not all that keen.In fairness, he might have just made this report to head off a complaint about him.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Ok. So your advice is to make no comment when seeing the police, right?
If you think he will not give evidence.You are taking a risk and you need to understand that.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I understand. One last question. Sorry I am new to all this and just want to try to understand this completely.
If I give a statement you said the police will offer a caution. What impact does a caution have? Does it stay in my records? Who can see this and how can this influence anything in my life? Can future employeers see it? Also if I give s statement will have to go back to the police or is that it then? Do I have to court or anything like that?
Yes, it does stay on your record for life.It will be disclosed on standard DBS checking for five and a half years and on enhanced for life.I wouldn't accept a caution lightly.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
But what can I do to not get cautioned, to not get anything on my record?
The only there is that he doesn't give evidence.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your help
No problem and all the best. Remember that I am always available to help with your questions. Even if I am in Court I will usually pick up a question within 12 hours. For future information, please start your question with ‘For Jo C’. You can also bookmark my profile
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