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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34885
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I'm splitting up after 26 years, I have done it before 5

Customer Question

Hi I'm splitting up after 26 years, I have done it before 5 years ago but we tried again for kids etc.
Children's ages who are home 20 & 11.
Home is jointly owned with 9 years or so left on mortgage (£73,000 left to pay at moment) The house has been valued at £250,000? My husband is now renting and has his youngest son stop over 2-3 nights a week with him. We are both paying mortgage and I am paying my own bills. He has been giving me £400 per month maintenance but he says this is too much.
His salary 50K pa and mine 13K pa. I used to have better paid jobs but I have had controlled epilepsy since I was 16 and the medication just fogs my brain and I can never remember anything anymore, spreadsheets at work years ago were a doddle, now I keep clear, I work as a receptionist, not too much brain work involved there. I have applied for the P.I.P to help but I'm not holding out as I'm not exactly disabled as I drive, work etc, I just can't do a better paid job. I already claim working tax credits and child tax credits which helps. My son works and pays me a little rent as well.
My husband lets himself in and out of house and is constantly coming round to do diy jobs that he says will help the house sell. He says he is happy to split equity out of sale 60/40 in my favour but he said the maintenance would be greatly reduced.
I think I would prefer to move but not essential. He says I am only entitled to 50/50 so what are my options with regard to staying in house which he also says I can't do, can he come in etc? We have no savings, he was a spender. About £2500 overdrawn on our joint account. He also put £25,000 into his business where he is a director. We added it onto our mortgage 2 years ago. He said we would reap rewards, none so far just a bigger mortgage, but the directors have nice cars lol! I was a fool letting him do that.
I will probably divorce after the 2 years, we split last August 2015. Basically he is a verbal bully and always puts me down and I put up with it, he got worse and my family noticed and I made excuses for him and laughed it off but I'm ground down and can't do it anymore. Definitely no one else involved.
I hope I've given you enough information,
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HiThank you for your question My name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further information firstHow much is his share in his business worth?How much would a two bedroom property n the same general area cost to buy?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He owns 25% of business. That's all I know, we added £25,000.00 on to the mortgage.A two bed would be approx. £140,000.Thanks Jennifer.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
How much is the monthly mortgage payment?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
How much are you paying towards that at the moment - and can you afford it?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am paying half and then with the life, building and pet insurances I pay £428 and so does he.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Sorry forgot to mention I am finding it tight but I'd rather be poor than in my marriage any longer.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HiMy apologies for the delay.If you had a mortgage free property would you be able to cope with reduced maintenance (best guess no one will hold you to it)
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes I would.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare, do you have any idea of when I will have an idea of what my options are? Sorry to pressure you for an answer.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
My apologies for the delay JenniferGiven the length of your relationship the starting point for division of all assets - including his business and his pension is indeed 50/50.However your housing needs are the priority so you will certainly receive enough to allow you to purchase a two bedroom property for you and your youngestIf the sale of the current home wouldn't give you enough to purchase an alternative property then you will be able to remain there (without your ex) until your youngest is 18 or you cohabit.HOWEVER your illness and inability to earn more than you do means that you are also entitled to ongoing SPOUSE maintenance as well as child maintenancehe is actually only just paying enough child maintenanceIt should be 12% of his GROSS income less a 2/7ths reduction to reflect the nights his son spends with himYou should offer to discuss matters with him using Family mediation - but stay firm as you actually have a right to a secure home and ongoing spouse maintenancePlease ask if you need further detailsClare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare, I will have a think about what you have said and look into family mediation.Thank you
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Please do not let him bully youIn fact financially your needs are likely to be the deciding factor and the financial outlook is not as bleak as he suggestsClare