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ukfamilysolicitor, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1441
Experience:  Qualified Solicitor Currently specialising in Family. Also experienced in Corporate, Employment, Civil Litigation, Debt Recovery
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I have a harassment order against my ex, I have just gone to

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I have a harassment order against my ex, I have just gone to collect my son from the contact centre (we are in the middle of court proceedings in regards ***** *****) and he has come out with flowers and a hand made card saying " to mummy love u lots" . Now he would call me that when I was pregnant and can't see why he would do this, it feels like he is letting me know he is still here and won't go away, what can I do or am I just overseeing this? I do feel like it's harassment!
Hello Welcome to Just Answer I am a Family Solicitor and will try and assist you. Please may I ask - what are the terms of the current order that you have against your ex? Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
HelloHe cannot have direct contact with me due to the police harassment letter he has received!
He is to see my son once per week at a supervised contact centre until we go to court again on Tuesday. My son is 3 in April and my ex is demanding overnights already with sharing my son (as if he was a piece of meat) every other holiday!As my ex is paralysed to the extent he cannot use his hands and uses a wheelchair I have asked for one person to be with him when it goes to community visits but my ex feels that anyone can change my sons nappy which I don't feel that this would safeguard my son properly.Sorry I'm just so angry at the moment that the centre would of allowed this and it's bringing back memories.Thanks
Hello Thank you for your response. If you are concerned that there has been a breach - then you really should report this to the police so that the can investigate. I imagine that he is going to say that he thought that it was a nice gester fro mothers day from your child - but you will know best as to what you consider the true meaning to be. In respect of the issues re his mobility - I am unsure from what you have said as to the likelihood of him actually being able to care for your son. Does he have support? Where at you at in the children proceedings has the court ordered any sort of report? Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He is unable to provide any form of physical care for my son i.e. Can't change a nappy dress him bath etc. He got a payout from his injury to provide care for himself but chooses to struggle alone taking up to 4 hours to get up toilette showered and dressed. Originally he told the court his sister would be at all the visits now he is stating he wants anyone he chooses to change my sons nappy as he cannot. He's trying to say it's discriminating against his disability asking that specific people look after my son without considering the child's welfare is paramount. What he is asking is anyone he turns up with can change my son and this would eventually lead to bathing and getting up to my son in the night when it goes to overnight stays.
I think this opens my son up to the risk of abuse.I was happy for his sister to care for her nephew but not allowing just anyone.We go back to court Tuesday. The current contact has been once a week supervised in a contact centre. This has obviously given reports giving a glowing report of his ability to play with our son but that's really his limit in care. For instance in a con find room there's not much a child can do but if they were at the park or crossing a road he'd have no control over our 2 year old.
Hello I agree with you. Although it can not be assumed that this will happen - I think he needs to be clear as to who is saying is going to be helping him. It doesnt sound like a realistic plan for him to just say 'anyone he chooses'. I consider that in his circumstances the court are likely going to want to see a clear commitment from someone offering support to make his argument that he can care with support as a viable option. I dont think that the court will be convinced unless he comes up with a proper plan. You should hold your ground on this one. Not only because 'it could be anyone' but also because what if there is no one and something happens such as a accident and your childs needs cant be met. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can help further. Kind Regards ***** ***** kindly remember to star rate our service so that we receive credit for helping you today
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi CarolineI understand he had a right to see his son however he believes he should have 50:50 visitation. I can't imagine anyone wanting to give up half their week for the next 15+ years to help him with my son. Given this situation would it be reasonable to request less visitation to ensure contact can be maintained instead of allowing more visitation and my son to be let down when whoever is helping him doesn't want to commit that amount of time?Also he's approached the pre school trying to get visitation there. As there is a contact order in place stating supervised access only at the moment they declined his request. Where do I stand with this? If an order states the visitation how can he have access outside of this? It seems to make a joke out of the order... Also I don't think it's in my sons best interests to confuse social and educational development with contactThanks
Hi I think you are spot on and are being more realistic. Whilst the court does emphasis is on equal parenting - this is on the provisio that it is in the childs best interest and given what you have said about his mobility - there appears a real risk that your son's needs will not be met. Realistically long term commitment may come from his sister but this does also have to be manageable for her. In respect of Pre-School - I am 50/50 on this one. I do agree that when at school in the future - education should not be disrupted and schools vary greatly in respect of assisting with these types of issues. On the plus side - this is some contact for him that you know will be safe for your child also. Kindest Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi CarolineSome of the people he previously suggested to provide care was his 18yr old and 16 yr old children (CAFCASS said no to them) and he's fixated on his ex wife looking after our son. This to me is a definite no she's no relation to my son and they have very blurred lines in terms of relationships.Can I object to any of these or an I in the position I have to agree with who he suggests ?Thanks
Hello If there are no child protection concerns in relation to his relationship with his ex wife - then the court isnt going to 'bar her' from being involved. I do however think that this however a bit of a red herring. As the reality is that if he cannot come up with a regular plan then the court are likely going to deem his proposals as unrealistic and not being able to met your childs needs. Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Sorry, but what do u mean by a red herring?Thanks
Hi I mean - not the main issue. As I think that the court is unlikely, given what you have said, to allow unsupervised contact if he cannot convince the court that he has a proper plan that is workable. So he may be mentioning his ex wife now but if the court isnt convinced that this is a long term sustainable option - I doubt they will approve this. Kind Regards ***** ***** feedback gratefully received
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