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ukfamilysolicitor, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1364
Experience:  Qualified Solicitor Currently specialising in Family. Also experienced in Corporate, Employment, Civil Litigation, Debt Recovery
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Am I able to remain in my home and force my husband to pay

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Am I able to remain in my home and force my husband to pay the mortgage which is a 1/3 of his salary when he has left me and agreed to unreasonable behaviour. I have been married 20 years separated on 1st September 2015 and I have an 8 year old daughter by him who has autistic diagnosis and other health issues and I have disability in form of cfs/me. Both our health has been poor of late and I feel forced to sell the family home which I feel will destabilise my child. There is not enough equity in the household to buy another house and I worry how I can take on a mortgage and sustain it with my health.
Hello Welcome to Just Answer I am a Solicitor and will assist you. Please may I ask: - have the divorce proceedings been started? if so, what stage are they at?- what are the matrimonial assets including pensions?- what are both of your earning capacities? Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I work 22.5 on 20.500 per year and unable to increase hours due to my health. I was recommended by occupational health to work alternate days ideally and my recent request to increase to a 30 hour contract was declined albeit hours are vacant.Husband earns 50 plus k a year and second job of 2k on external marking the role with council linked with education post 16s
He has had money from his previous employer in Kent, which he utilised towards the mortgage for the subsequent 6 months where he was out of work. I supported the household wigh my savings then he got work locally, but left me promptly.The house is 325 on market with a 199 mortgage left to go. I have just received an offer for 310 I have not yet accepted albeit my husband wants to.I have 7k debt as a direct result jf replacing the boiler an electrics as boiler was condemned by british gas in November after he left. The cars are 1 ford titanium bought for 10k HD took and his name on vehicle. I have 3 Dr BMW series 1 cost 6.5 last year. Both bought around same time. I had no choice in vehicles.
The landrover he sold for 1500 and I got an electric bit for 150 paid only.
There is a small boat worth 600 and a caravan of same value.He said he had 15k debt September 2016 but now he has 17k he reckons.I pay all childcare of 200 a month and I am waiting on application for DLA benefit for Evie.I have no agreement re percentage or all of equityCurrently waiting on CETV s on pension past 5 years he has been earning 65-85k. His new partner is a principal of a college and must be taking home 80plus k and he lives there rent free and just pays for food. He has continued to may mortgage and bills but he threatened to default before last xmas.
He has accepted terms of my lodged reasons for divorce.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I have superannuation 25 years I have been paying in and about half of term is part time hours. He has 19 years in and full time I believe but his teachers pension was fixed when he left the job in Kent March 2016 and now he has a council pension
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am fixed as at top of payband so earnings are fixed. If I work additional hours is the only way to increase earnings and this is difficult due to my health and Evie needing extra support.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Both of us hold perminent contracts as he reluctantly told me he passed his probationary period. I cannot afford the mortgage of 1,140 a month for 16 years and 4 months alone. I can afford bills. I am worried of feeding a mortgage in order to have enough money to afford a basic home. Should I accept the offer then it will release 110 equity to be divided. I rather then puts pressure on me financially with my health to afford a mortgage of 30-40k over 20 years and I have the 7k debt to absorb and estate agency fees, solicitor. costs and moving and surveys etc.. I have had significant reactive depression and on antidepressants as a result of all this stress.
Hello Thank you for all this information. In respect of the divorce proceedings - has decree nis been applied for yet? in relation to the finances - what is the current plan? has he just said that he wants half the house? Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Application to court re divorce has been done. He wants 50%, then he says I can have all the equity if I don't go after his pension. I am waiting pension value. I do not want to move and house is a good investment for my daughters inheritance as she is nominated on the will now. He thinks after 20 year marriage and salary differential that I won't get spousal maintenance. I have known him 28 years. He perceives he will pay about 300 child maintenance total.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I don't know if court can instruct him to pay the mortgage to keep home life stable for Evie and myself. Evie has chronic bowel condition and I have had an ill child for the past 2 months and been referred to a consultant paediatrician. I can pay bills and am already paying council tax food, childcare petrol costs for work purposes.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am not in a relationship or cohabiting and I am struggling to decide what to do.
Hello Thank you for clarifying that for me. You are doing the right thing by not agreeing anything until full disclosure has taken place. You can by all means ask for spousal maintenance as your income is much lower than his. You will also be the main carer for your son and need to meet his needs as well as your own. The court can make orders for spousal maintenance and this is in addition to child maintenance. If you haven't done so yet - I would recommend that you refer you case to family mediation. They will be able to help both you and your ex in respect of full and frank disclosure and discussions about division including ongoing maintenance. In reality - you also need to be seeking a larger share of the assets than 50%. Given what you have said a court would likley award oyu about 10 - 20% more than him because you earn less and will be the main carer of your children. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can clarify anything for you. Kind Regards Caroline Please kindly remember to star rate our service so that we receive credit for helping you today
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I really need to know specifically if I am forced to downsize and uproot with an autistic child and what are her rights to a house of value of 75k even if I get 75% of the equity... not alot I can get... mobile home? He closed mediation and just wasted 250 of my money. We never went together even.
Hello Sorry to hear that mediation wasnt succesful. There is no hard and fats rule in respect of the finances and division but what I can tell you that the court will split the assets based on need and given what you have said about the needs of you and the children - then the ocurt will likley order that you and the children remain in the house - especially if he is wanting to offset his pension. Do not sell the house or give him any money from the proceeds until a court has made an order. As explained above - a court will likely consider that your share should be greater than 50%. Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Can he face me to move out. The mortgage is in joint names. I have not accepted the offer. Is a conveyancing solicitor enough to protect my future and remain in the house?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
50% of 110 equity with the offer accepted is not going to buy a house even 100% minus fees and court costs etc is only going to give me 100k to buy a property and the impact of a small 1-2 bed property in a poor location of town compared to the period detached home with a garden. What will the court view his need to be. He has 17k debt and if he paid the mortgage he still takes home 2k. Solicitor argues he would not be able to raise a mortgage if he keeps the mortgage together as his defense and that I have mortgage raising potential. The mortgage companies cannot be seen to discriminate on health grounds, so difficult to evidence a refusal and yet I know I struggle now to achieve my work now and cannot bear the thought of having to take a we year comitment that I know is unachievable in reality due to bouts of exhaustion where I have bedrest for days at a time. Are there specialist cfs divorce lawyers that can advise?
Hello No - at this stage he can not force you to move out. If you want to stay in the home and it is a possible outcome that he would forgo his share by keeping some/ all of his pension - then you might want to consider taking the house off the market until the matrimonial finances are resolved. You are a joint owner so you could choose to withdraw your consent to sell now - he couldn't force you to sell unless the matrimonial finances had been resolved and the order states the house will be sold. Until and If that happens - then - you could choose to not consent. Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thankyou for that advice. I have contacted the mortgage company because I fear he will default if I pull house off market. Is there anything else I should be aware of to minimise damage.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Do I legally have to give contact when with his daughter when he is being so unreasonable. Do I have rites to stop extended family who have not seen her for 4 years seeing her if I deem she is at risk of emotional harm or risk of abuse. Is it reasonable contact is only at her home if she is unwell?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
If a court order is achieved to pay the mortgage does that mean I can remove his name from the mortgage and deeds or not?
Hello If he does default - then I think you need to give consideration to making an urgent application to the court for Interim Maintenance whilst the matrimonial finances are being considered. You would need to provide the court as to your means and why support is required while the case of the matrimonial finances is ongoing. If the court is convinced that he needs to support during this time then they can order that he has to make payments to you, likely on a monthly basis whilst matters are being decided. In respect of contact - the court considers that it is a childs right to have a relationship with both of their parents - as long as there are no child protection concerns in respect of the father or his family then contact need not be supervised and should be regular. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can help you further. Kind Regards ***** ***** kindly remember to star rate our service. If you rate positively your question will remain open and I can answer your follow up questions for free
Hello If court order is that you have the house. 1) remove him from the deeds straight away2) the mortgage company are not bound to realise him. They often dont like doing this - as if you default - they can still chase him. They will likely remove him over time when you prove you can pay. Either way - if the order says the house is yours - even if he is still named on the mortgage - he would have no rights over the house. Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Evie had a cousin 6 years older than her innappropriate behaviour sexually and she was only 4 and with autism albeit not diagnosed she was being explored on a couple of occasions. His family supported th cousin and ostracised me and Evie so now he my husband mixes with them again I fear that without my supervision a repeat could happen. Her grandparents did not support me and minimised experiences and I do not feel they protect her or prioritise her as a minor back then. I contacted children's services at the time and because no contact there was no risk. They say legal advice re contact and not a matter for their involvement now 4 years on.
Hello Just to be clear - who did your daughter's cousin say she was being abused by? Why did this have an effect on you? Ps im just driving home - so it will take me a while to respond.
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
My daughter was the victim to her cousin (my husbands brothers son).... he wanted her to take a sticker off his penis and encouraging games to pull his trousers down at school. Touch the mummy and daddy games at school ie genitals. The pattern as escalating so I removed her from the school and their safeguarding needed improving on the Ofstead routine inspection as a finding! Attitude of his family is boys will be boys... as if ok. Was distraught at time. The effect is that I felt I could not protect my child and my husband was caught in middle. He chose no contact with his family and now wants reunion but Evie has been stressed with the separation, unwell, autism and no shift in attitude by his family
They try to label me as having a mental illness and lying when in fact I was chronically anaemic and cfs at the time and diagnosed around that time. I want to keep the family situation at bay and I don't feel comfortable with his parents because his mother deceived me historically and put the children together despite my expressed wish.
Hello So sorry that I was not available yesterday evening. I am very sorry to hear what happened to your daughter. I do consider that you took the right action to safeguard your daughter. It does also worry me to hear of the attitude taken by the father's family - although it sounds like the father took the right steps to safeguard. If he continues to be able to safeguard - then this is no need fo rhis contact to be supervised - but if something happens that makes you question this - then you will need to review the situation. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can help you further. Kindest regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Dear *****. I have got contradiction are advice from what you advised when I saw a family solicitor yesterday.he advised the course will not consider mine of Evie's health needs much in reality and just see that a 4 bed home is surplus to our requirements. He said to go to court is a high risk strategy and that the court will have to consider his needs and most likely instruct house sells. I am now confused. He also advised wariness off such sites as this. I do not wish to be forced out of my homeCan av private arrangement be agreed where he transfers money to pay for 2/3 res of mortgage and be binding? Should I give up my pension rites and he is removed from the deeds and hose comes to my name only and HD has no rites on the property. Can a deal like this be done legally so I can top up that amount to pay the mortgage. If not, why not?
Hello I hope that you are well. Whilst it is correct a 4 bed-roomed house could be considered by the court as surplus to need - especially if taken in isolation - you cannot prejudge a case until full and frank disclosure has taken place and as you have already told me that he may want to keep all his pension and offset this against his interest in the property - then it is quite possible that the house could be transferred to you. You will have a better idea when you get his pension valuations. I certainly do not think you should agree to sell the house and split the proceeds until you are in possession of full and frank disclosure. I can confirm that this site is a genuine one and I am a Family law Solicitor :-) You can reach a private agreement with your husband - but I would not tell you to do so until you are in possession of full and frank financial disclosure - otherwise you could be selling yourself short. Its only when you have full and frank disclosure that you are able to start negotiating o who gets what. In respect of having the house transferred to you as opposed to keeping a share of his pension - this really is a choice for you when full and frank disclosure has taken place. Giving up a pension right will obviously have an effect on your income in the future but its up to you what you want more. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can help you further. Kind Regards Caroline