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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34885
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My controlling narcissistic ex has not seen our children for

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My controlling narcissistic ex has not seen our children for just over 10 months. He loves to have control and is still writhing that I found out he was cheating 3 years ago for the full 6 years of marriage so I chucked him out of my house. The house was owned out right so now he is paying rent and maintenance. He spent nearly 2 years trying to get me to sleep with him and again didn't like that I had control by saying no. 9 months ago he applied for mediation ( no idea why as I said he could see the children when he wanted)and every time I told the mediator I could do any day he could but I never heard back. Then after 4 attempts I get told that mediation will not go ahead. I applied to CMS 4 weeks ago as he wants to reduce payments ( first email I have received in 7 months). He finds out he has to pay more and 2 days ago I receive court papers for a first hearing dispute resolution for him going for joint custody (dated 2 days after me saying I would go to CMS so maintenance he pays is fair for both of us) and in his statement he has lied about everything saying I was making it difficult for him to see his children and refused mediation but I didnt. I have all proof in email form that I sent back in July basically leaving it open for him to call or contact or see the boys whenever he wanted and I also have his replies to these offers. But I'm panicking because that's what I do best. Despite his severe lack of empathy and love I want the children to see their dad as they are only 3 and 5 and they want to see him.
Basically I really would like to know that based on this information and the fact that I still have every text and the emails, will this stand as evidence at a first hearing and will the judge see that he has applied for joint custody and are they likely to gove him what he wants? I am thinking along the lines of Saturday morning for 4 weeks then a full Saturday for another 4 Then add in a weekday for tea for another 4 and if he sticks to it then overnight weekend stays too. Note he had previously let the children down 38 times over the first 2 years on a Saturday morning with various excuses / reasons.
Will the judge let me or my solicitor give my side of things in the first hearing? Can I request a court order as it seems leaving it open to my ex hasn't worked?
Thanks in advance.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you Please do not worry - you have nothing to be concerned about You have already offered contact - and still wish it to happen and it is unlikely that your ex will actually show the commitment necessary for contact.Stay calm and continue to be reasonable and all will be well.I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you ned further detailsClare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I would still just like to know the answers to my questions about the judge letting me have my say and also if I am within my rights to request a court order for stability for the children? Thanks in advance.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Can you please advise. Many thanks in advance.
My apologies.Of course you will get a chance to put your side - and when the time comes you will indeed be able to ask for an Order setting out when the father will see the child!Clare
Clare and other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Great thank you. Was worried the would not ask for my side.
I'm half inclined to think he won't show up.
I rather think you may be right!