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Harris, Law Specialist
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I'd be very grateful advice. I have a contact

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Hi. I'd be very grateful for your advice. I have a contact order in place for my 9 year old son. His Dad has contact with him every other weekend, which is more or less fine. In the school holidays, the time my son is supposed to spend with his dad is stipulated in the order. However, his Dad regularly doesn't have him for the holiday time specified in the order.He also only lets me know at the last minute that he's not having him for the days stipulated, even though I've emailed him weeks in advance to ask for confirmation.
He holds the view that he doesn't HAVE TO comply with the order because he's the non resident parent and says I'm the only one who needs to comply with it to make my son available for contact with HIM. He basically thinks the order exists for his benefit.
I thought that the order exists to enable my son to have time with both parents in a way that's beneficial for him (my son) and so BOTH parents should comply.
I realise that my ex-husband is purposefully making life difficult for me by not communicating, knowing that I then won't be able to make any plans for holidays until he confirms which days, if any, he's having my son.
We've been through the courts for years due to his very unreasonable behaviour and I really don't want to go back again but all the uncertainty around holidays is unsettling for my son (who is autistic) and for me as I am trying to hold down a demanding clinical job and not knowing what childcare I need to arrange and when is extremely stressful. I am trying to abide by the court order but my ex is playing games. Please could I have some advice? Donna
Hi, thank you for your question. Just a bit more information required to provide you a full answer:-How long has the order been in place?-How many holidays has he missed?-What are his reasons for not having the holiday contact? You are correct in stating that the order exists so that both of you, and your son, know exactly when contact is to take place. It's not for your husband to decide if he had thr contact or not - it should take place unless there is a reasonable excuse that it cannot but there is no way to force him to have the sessions. If you are able to provide me the above information I can inform you of what steps you should take.Thanks
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you. That answer is very helpful and gives me enough information for now. I just needed to know whether I was right in thinking that the order exists for BOTH parents. Kind regards, Donna
The order exists for both parents, but most importantly for your son's benefit. As he is 9 he is likely to know the arrangements and given he has autism it is likely he would want a routine in place. Not complying with this routine is against his best interests, so if the father does not comply with the order then you should consoder applying to court to vary it to stop the holiday contact.
If there are any issues or questions in the future you can ask for directly by starting your question For Harris. Thank you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Harris. Thank you very much for your advice, which is really helpful. Exactly, its the breakdown in my son's routine and uncertainty around holiday contact that concerns me. I'll contact you again if I need to. Kind regards, Donna.
Thanks. Hope it goes well