How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask ukfamilysolicitor Your Own Question
ukfamilysolicitor, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1439
Experience:  Qualified Solicitor Currently specialising in Family. Also experienced in Corporate, Employment, Civil Litigation, Debt Recovery
Type Your Law Question Here...
ukfamilysolicitor is online now

I have a 24 year old daughter who is 9 weeks away from giving

This answer was rated:

Hi I have a 24 year old daughter who is 9 weeks away from giving birth to my grandson. She has not enjoyed a healthy pregnancy. She is no longer with the father of the baby tho she has assured him she will give his plenty of access to baby,
Unfortunately this young man and many of his friends are making life unbearable for my daughter - they were in same crowd of friends . Firstly her ex has been telling many stories about her and sending pictures to his friends, and also has until recently pestered her non stop including through the night with messages - always telling her that he will stop if she goes back with him. This she has no intention of doing.
I finally spoke to both him and his mother and advised them that if he didn't stop pestering her, harassing her, etc that I would seek a non molestation order on her behalf. At first the boy said 'if she doesn't want to be with me why did she sleep with me recently?' I would add that when I asked him if that was true or another lie he admitted it had not happened since baby conceived.
Now his friends male and female have got involved posting very nasty things and seriously bad name calling and bullying on Facebook. And to my shock, even tho I doubt it was a threat - when my daughter and 3 friends were on their way out on Sunday day they called one of the friends for directions to Southend (remember same crowd) and one shouted out - throw her over a cliff when you are there and get rid of the bitch.
When her ex was told his friends said that, all he said was 'fair enough'. His friends also told her that when he has baby he can do what he likes etc
I am desperately concerned for my daughter as she will be living alone with the baby although he will not be given address and because of what appears to be his unstable mind and emotional blackmailing plus verbal abuse from all his friends we have also told him access will be supervised. I will be looking after baby during the day when my daughter works again a few weeks after the birth and we have said providing he phones first he can see, play with baby but only when he is here. Also he has 3 brothers who live with him and his parents in a minute overcrowded house with a mad huge dog and one of the brothers has autism and has occasional violent outbursts so my daughter said he can't take baby there but his parents (the baby's paternal grandparents) can also visit whenever baby is at my house to spend time with him. We can't see any other way around this as my daughter does not wish to leave baby alone with him cos of this constant abuse etc.
I am very very worried about my daughter at this stage in her pregnancy she can't take anymore.
Have I told him the most sensible solution to access and how can I keep the baby away fromthosefriends of this boy who have been verbally threatening my daughter.
Please help Suzy
Hello Suzy Welcome to Just Answer I am a Solicitor and will assist you. I am sorry to hear about what has been happening - it all sounds very stressful and from what you have described - it appears as though the current trust level between your daughter and the father is non existent. This trust level needs to be regained - by the father - if he is willing and able to do so. The courts do start rom the position that it is a child's right to have a relationship with both of their parents but this is on the proviso that there are no child protection concerns. Whilst it does not necessary follow that if one parent is abusive to the other parent that they will also be abusive to the child - it is however considered normally considered emotional harm if a child was to witness one parent being abusive or denigrating the other parent and with such a tiny baby and trust completely shattered then I do not think that your proposals I respect of supervised contact at this stage are unreasonable. It would assist relations to set goals for the father - for the time that he spent with his child to be increased in the future, to include unsupervised contact, if he can rebuild the trust and prove that he is reliable, committed and can prioritise his child over and above anything else - including his friends. It is also worth asking the family to provide more information in respect of his siblings autism. They may well agree that contact is not safe there or they may come up with a suggestion that is manageable - such as them not being present etc. In reality - if the father doesn't agree with the proposals that you are making - then he can make an application to the family courts for a child arrangement order to spend time with his child. The court will still take on board all the concerns that have been detailed and will investigate those concerns to decide what is safe for the child. If the father can demonstrate commitment and an effort to rebuild trust then it is likely that the court will make a progressive order to allow unsupervised contact when the concerns are alleviated. Before the father could make an application to the family court - he would have to refer the case to family mediation. Family Mediation try and help both parents understand the concerns and agree a suitable schedule. Family mediation is a good idea and you may also want to consider referring to family mediation yourself once the baby has been born. There are lots of family mediation services and there will be one local to you. Just google family mediation in your area and give them a call to get the ball rolling. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can assist you further. Kind Regards ***** ***** kindly remember to star rate our service so that we receive credit for helping you today
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Caroline
Thank you for your reply. I was hoping that you may address the concern with regards ***** ***** emotional and verbal abuse she is receiving from the father and his friends and how best to deal with it to put a stop to it. I am very concerned about Sophie as she is having a difficult pregnancy and there has been a small heart defect (we are told not to worry about it) in the baby so she is even more stressed currently. I can't just stand by and allow people to throw this abuse and threats at her. What can I do?
Hello In respect of ay incidents you need to:- 1) report matters to the police. They may put conditions in place to stop such behaviour. 2) If the police take no action - then an application can be made for a Non Molestation Order against the father. I note that you have already provided the father with a warning that this is intended. If there isn't a recent threat of harm then the application could still be made to the court but the court would provide him notice of the application and hearing date. Your daughter would need to attach a statement in support of her application - detailing a chronology for the court as to what has happened. This statement will need to establish that the father is continuing with a course of behaviour against your daughter which is unwanted. The father is an associated person to your daughter - as they were in a relationship together - his friends are not associated - so a NMO cannot be applied for against them. If the court made an order against the father - this could however include a provision that he cannot instruct others to do anything which he is forbidden to do - which should assist. Form for NMO - is the FL401. There is no court fee. Application goes to your local family court. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can assist you further. Kind Regards ***** ***** kindly remember to star rate our service so that we receive credit for helping you today.
ukfamilysolicitor and 3 other Law Specialists are ready to help you