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ukfamilysolicitor, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1368
Experience:  Qualified Solicitor Currently specialising in Family. Also experienced in Corporate, Employment, Civil Litigation, Debt Recovery
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My sisters sons father smokes , has been caught dealing

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My sisters sons father smokes weed, has been caught dealing weed and has a Drs letter that states he does smoke weed. He's violent, has attacked my sister before numerous times and it has gone to court but because she is too scared to speak up in court as he threatens her she won't go to court and drops the charges.
He bullies her and plays mind games he says he has text messages off her that aggregate him that's why he's violent to her. Will these texts stand up in court? He's attacked amy father too and has broken into her home and is on video trying to harm her and the baby. The court has said he is the babies father and therefore should have access despite the fact he is not responsible, is threatening and on drugs. He has a bad reputation wih gangs and the police say it's up to the court (he's been in jail before for grievous bodily harm) and has been back repeatedly but he wants access to his son - they're no longer together but he demands access all the time and she's scared to say no. Please help its destroying us
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He says he will run away with the baby but no one has him recorded saying this. Do I have any rights at all? He says he will call social services on my sister and say she's an unfit mother that he records all their calls and texts to send to court but the police say he has a right to see the baby as he's on birthright certificate but he bullied her into it and she's scared to take him off as he tells her he will kill us all but she can't say this in court as she's too scared. All my family and my sister have a clean record and enhanced crb checks
HelloWelcome to Just AnswerI am a Family Solicitor and can help you in respect of the concerns about the child and the father. I am not a criminal solicitor so can only assist in respect of the family issues.Please may I ask:- how old is the child?
- what is the current routine for contact? Is this regular?
- is the father currently bailed for a charge? If so, what are the conditions?
- are there any current court orders in place in relation to the child?Kind RegardsCaroline
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi CarolineHe is 2 today it's his birthday - he threatens for access today despite an agreement already formed but threatening behaviour means he has to see him due to my sister being petrified.My sister arranged regular contact he sees he baby every Sunday, his family on Saturday he doesn't want in the week due to his illegal activities and lifestyle. He has threatened he wants 50:50 access despite it putting the child in harms way just to spite as he says he will ruin her life so that he can control where she takes him / schools etc as he says if anyone else is allowed to be in his life he will harm us all. He says he has nothing. To live for without his son and noone will be allowed to have my sister.He is currently on probation from his last violent attack on my sister that he can't do anything violent again unless he goes back to prison so he threatens to pay people to harm her and us.No court orders thank you please help
HelloThank you for your response.This situation is terrible and I can certainty help you.Please can I ask a few more questions:- how does he treat his son?
- is his contact currently supervised?
- what was the offence that he is on probation for?
- is there no bail conditions at all to protect your sister?
- when was the last time he threatened your sister?
- when did he threaten to take your nephew from his mother?
- has there been any social services involvement so far?Kind RegardsCaroline
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you so much Caroline it's such a relief thank you so much!Re treating his son - he is kind, polite and well meaning when he is with him. It's very awkward but he knows he is being watched so tries to make the effort. He always smells of weed though and the child has a hacking cough, wheeze and always returns with red spots all over his face when he's been with him. He says he doesn't smoke in front of him but he smokes cigarettes and weed so much so that you can smell it on him in the next aisle in the shops. He has been done for dealing and possession repeatedly but the dr says its for medical use but everyone knows he deals from his home and my nephew is there when he takes him. But the police have searched his home found things but said the child wasn't there at the time.Not legally supervised, he won't have my nephew on his own he won't change nappies, feed or change him or wash him on his own he always says someone has to be with him as that's not what a man does these things so a woman should be there so he has his mother or my sister says she has to stay with him as she doesn't trust him not to let harm come to the baby. But she won't say that to a solicitor or in court as she is too scared of the repurcussions.This latest one he broke into my sisters home and tried to get to "kill her" and the baby and the police put her into witness protection but she wouldn't testify and he threatened our family so she has to tell him where she lived (as he wanted access) he comes to her home and causes disturbances threatening her and the police arrested him coz he broke the probation for the attack by threatening her again and was arrested and then again he broke the probation about dealing weed by being caught with it.He threatened her yesterday by saying he was going to call social services and say she's unfit mother and take her off him that he had texts and voicemails. He threatens her every day if she says no to access he says he will take the child.Before the baby was born he broke into her home and destroyed her House when she was pregnant and he beat her up in a public car park. Because he was the child's father social services were Involved before the child was born. She took him to court the police said if she didn't they would as he has previous for harming people and been to prison and the judge said he deserved a chance to be free and do community service. He has repeatedly attacked my sister she has panic alarms but she cannot go to court due to his threats and he harms our family they're too scared she won't say anything.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sorry bail conditions - he's not meant to be violent to my sister at all but he has been and the police just arrest him and he gets a fine And community service. He has said he will just get other people "to do the job" and he will take the baby off my sister. She is too scaree to say anything and refuses now as she's so scared
HelloThank you for your patience.My apologies for my delay in responding to you.This all sounds horrific.I'm going to prepare an answer for you now.This will take me about 15-20 minutes.Kind RegardsCaroline
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you Caroline, please any amount of time is more than fine we are at our wits end its ruining so many lives we can't live like this
Hello From what you have described to me - it sounds like your sister has and is still suffering a terrible ordeal from the father of her son. I am so surprised to hear that the current bail condition only prevent her ex from acting violently / aggressively towards her but that they do not prevent him from actually coming near her. It sounds like the father is very controlling and manipulative and the fact that they have a child together is just giving him the means to be able to continue this behaviour. This shouldnt be the case. Whilst it is correct that the father has parental responsibility - by virtue of being named on the child's birth certificate - this only in reality gives him a right to information about his sons health and education - it does not automatically mean that he can demand 50/50 care of his son. Frankly, given what you have said about the father previously breaking into the house and threatening to harm both your sister and your nephew - I am very surprised to hear that there has been no previous social services involvement - to assess the risk that the father poses to his son. From the position of the courts - in relation to children - they do consider that children have a right to a meaningful relationship with both of their parents - as long as there are no child protection concerns. You have detailed a man whom has acted violently towards the mother and the child as well dealing and taking drugs. These are all significant child protection concerns. Your sister has a duty to protect her son from witnessing and being exposed to such behaviour. Whilst on a positive note - it appears his contact is supervised by his mother - and this seems to be going ok - this is only part of the picture and I note that there are still concerns that your nephew may still be being exposed to drugs and or dealers. The action I am going to detail for you - is going to have to take some strength and commitment from your sister. If she wants to be able to break away and live her own life. On the lowest level - your sister needs to be able to distance herself from the father completely. Your sister needs to be able to change her mobile number and she needs to make sure that the father cannot contact her at all. Consideration needs to be given to somebody else undertaking the handover of the child. Perhaps his mother - but this will only work if she can be trusted completely to priortise her grandsons needs over and above her sons needs. The grandmother needs to be trusted stop contact if the father is acting aggressively or if he has taken drugs or there are undesirable associates such as drug dealers turning up when the child is with the father. If the grandmother cant be trusted then the child is still potentially at risk and this cannot continue. I note that your sister has previously been in witness protection but she came out of this and gave the father her address for the purposes of child contact. Given the apparent serious assaults by the father against your sister - I would suggest that consideration needs to be given by your sister about seeking domestic violence support and the possibility of a refuge place so that she can truly break away from her ex. Whilst I note that this previously hasn't worked because of child contact - this should not have to be the case and I am very suprised that your sister has not been given appropriate legal advise in respect of this before. As the father is on probation for an offence - it is likely that this offence would have taken place in the last 2 years. This offence gives your sister the merits part of qualifying for legal aid in respect of children matters. (as well as domestic violence advice - which I will detail for you shortly). As long as your sister qualifies for legal aid in respect of means - see this link: Then you sister can get help in respect of children matters - and not have to face this issue alone. I would recommend that your sister contact a family solicitor immediately and ask them for a free legal aid assessment appointment - so that they can assess her eligibility. If your sister did go in a refuge then the solicitor could communicate to the father - her proposals in respect of safe supervised child contact. This can happen even if your sister did not go into a refuge - to help your sister stop having to communicate with him. Frankly, if the grandmother cant be trusted to safely supervise and proritise her grandson - then consideration should be given to contact being stopped completely. If the father didnt agree with this approach then he would have to make an application to the family courts to seek a child arrangement order to spend time with his son. If he did decide to take such action - this doesnt automatically mean that he is right and that he will get 50/50 care as he is suggesting that he would. Even before the first court hearing - a Children and Families Officer (Cafcass) would undertake police and social services checks in respect of both your sister and the father. His offences will come up. The court will also investigate all of the concerns you have raised - violence to the mother and the child, drug use and drug dealing. If your sister has held back before and not reported some of the serious incidents - then this doesnt stop the family court still deciding whether it wants to make a decision in respect of these events and make a decision (known as a finding) as to whether or not - what your sister says has happened. The family court has a lower standard of required proof - then the criminal courts. This could mean that the family court may consider that he has done things even if the criminal courts found him not guilty. The family court will only order contact if it is safe and in your nephews best interests. If, the father makes any more threats to remove the child - then your sister needs to make an urgent application to the family courts for a prohibited steps order to prevent him from doing this. If he did keep the child - then an urgent application can be made to the family court for the child to be returned. Its your sisters call about a refuge but I do consider that it she really wants to break free then this is an option she should seriously consider. Your sister needs urgent support from a specific domestic violence service such as: Even if your sister decided a refuge wasnt right for her - she still needs to contact a domestic violence service for support. the support that they can offer is wide ranging - from a chat to courses such as knitting and baking etc with other ladies whom have had similar experiences. Domestic violence support is amazing at building back up somebodies confidence and I can say that its highly likely that your sisters confidence is probably running really low right now. Your sister needs to be able to know what is happening is wrong and to break free. Whilst I dont want to scare your sister - social services can start care proceedings against parents for failing to protect and therefore it is so very important that your sister breaks free and makes sure that her son is not exposed to violent abusive behaviour. If a refuge isnt for your sister, then she still needs to give consideration to applying to the family courts for a non molestation order. Perhaps your sister needs to be close - for the help and support of her family. Such orders prevent the father from contacting her at all, coming within 50 meters of her home and also prevent the father from him getting someone else to do something for him that he cannot do. A breach of such an order can be punished by up to 5 years in prison. If your sister is suffering daily threats - then I would suggest that your sister call a family solicitor about an urgent order tomorrow. Legal aid is available for these types of orders and if the recent threats warrant a urgent application - then the order can be obtained in the first instance without him even being told. There are so many options for your sister to break free. Just because they have a child together does not by any means that the father can still control and daily threaten your sister. Your sister has options and can put a stop to this - she just needs to be strong enough to take the steps and stick to it. I have seen many abused ladies whom have been so frightened to take the first steps - but once they have and stuck to it - and finally broken free - the change in them is massive. They can finally live there life and the father will know that he can no longer control her - he will know that she will report him for breaching if he does. I hope that this helps. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can assist you further. Kind Regards ***** ***** kindly remember to star rate our service so that we receive credit for helping you today
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Caroline thank you so much for your help its meant the world and really given me some light I am going to speak to my family now thank you so so so much!!! I can't thank you enough!
Bless you! I wish you and your family all the best through this difficult time x