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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 71140
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I have a restraining order , in relation to an ex partner which

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I have a restraining order , in relation to an ex partner which restricts any contact directly or indirectly whatsoever.
How do I arrange return of personal possessions that she has kept.?
My ex continues to use a gym at my daughters school that I originally sponsored, however I am worried that her continued use of the gym will increase opportunity for us to bump into each other , plus add anxiety to my daughter should they also bump into each other.
My ex is not the maternal mother.
I feel she is taking advantage of my restraining order to put myself on edge and manipulate the situation, please any advise?
are you the subject of the restraining order?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
What are the terms?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Not to contact directly or indirectly by any means what ao ever.
OK. I am just about to travel home but I can pick this up in 30 mins or so if that is OK?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok thankyou
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The issue about the gym , leads onto more concerns, in that i need to consider that i will obviously attend the school site often over the next 5 years, and I should not have to worry about going to school or school events.
Whilst the gym hours are out of normal school hours, ex curricular activities that my daughter is involved with does involve post school and Saturday hours.
My ex knows about these things and is possibly adding further anxiety deliberately, and it genuinly will stress my daughter should they meet.
I am hoping not to need to tell the school all the details, and i hopeful that with drawing my sponsorship that lets her join the gym will suffice.Regarding my personal items, i asked in texts early on, and also written very politely twice, but my ex has chosen not to act , and now knows i cannot make any further requests without going against the restraint order, and i am afraid she is deliberately enticing myself to fail.against restraint conditions.
Is this is an order of the criminal courts?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Magistrates court
Did you contest it at the Magistrates?Was it consequent upon conviction?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I pleaded guilty to the charge of harrasment, of texting , so as to stop events.
I received a fine and the restraining order
When was that issued?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I attended court last Friday 6th, was advised it had immediate effect, but only received written advise and description of condition by post today.
I wrote requesting my possessions be returned approx 5 weeks , and one week ago .
I only received notice to attend court tuesday 3rd May 16, so had little time to seek advise prior to attending, altho I did consult duty solicitor, but he did not raise the issue of possessions.
I only became aware of my ex using the gym yesterday when I saw her car parked whilst I was attending a school theatre production at 6.45 pm. I did not bump into my ex on this occasion
You are right to be concerned about this. Not necessarily because your movements would actually amount to breaches but because they may be misconstrued. The problem with restraining orders is that they can be used by vexatious accusers to get revenge or attention or compensation. In fact, default meetings would not be covered. Contact either directly or indirectly does not include default meetings. You are not banned from going to the gym or the surrounding areas. If you happen to see her there then unless you approach her that is fine. However, what may happen is that she will start making allegations that you have done something more sinister. Depending on how far you want to go, body cams are very useful to capture the vexatious accuser. They are not expensive now and they do prove exactly what has been said or done. You do have an automatic right of appeal from the Magistrates Court but realistically they are not going to remove the order. This is an order in the barest of terms which is reasonable overall. Of course, she is taking advantage of the restraining order. That is what most of these 'victims' do. What you have to do is gather enough evidence of her doing that to ensure that you can challenge any allegation. A jury isn't going to be very likely to accept that she is terrified of you when she is going of her own volition to a gym near your daughter's school. Always elect trial by jury. Never accept trial by Magistrates. Can I clarify anything for you? Jo
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
How do I go about getting my belongings back ??
Whilst I understand the points you make, how about her actions in knowing she has a good chance of bumping into my daughter and caausing stress .
I have not told my daughter I events, other than to not talk to my ex.But again , I do not see it reasonable that the safety of my daughters school environment is compromised.
Whilst i was to blame for too much texting, they were mainly looking to have concillatory talks and plan for likely bumping into each other , but mybex chose to listen to friends and once she told the police, they and the system took over. It simply avalanched and within 2 weeks from the police visiting me I was in court.I am confused and scared, surely I must be able to register my concern with some authority so as to have some reference in future.
Can I register that she continues to use my daughters school in such a way?
Oh yes, she will deliberately antagonise. That is classic female abuse. However, there is no law against it. To get your belongings back you can either book an appointment with a police officer to attend with you to prevent a breach of the peace but I wouldn’t recommend it. Or you could sue for the value of the items or seek an injunction forcing her to hand them back.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok thankyou,
It all appears one sided, but ibcan only blame myself.
I will reflect on your advise and get back if I need any more clarification, but thankyou, I have at least shared my worries
Yes, it is one sided.That is why you have to protect yourself.The reality is that these women who use orders to take revenge usually end up losing in the Crown Court but you have to gather evidence to protect yourself and do not enter ill considered pleas.
I wouldn't advise you to plead to breaches in this sort of circumstance.A jury would not be very impressed that she keeps going to a location close to somewhere you are entitled to be.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok thankyou
Will take all your words in.
No problem and all the best. Please remember to rate my answer. Remember that I am always available to help with your questions. Even if I am in Court I will usually pick up a question within 12 hours. For future information, please start your question with ‘For Jomo1972’.
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