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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34905
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Madam , I was in the UK until few months ago as a permanent

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Dear Sir / Madam ,
I was in the UK until few months ago as a permanent resident. I have 3 children . We lived all with my wife in our owned house.
I had problems with my wife all last 6 years. She showed symptoms of severe outrage towards every one she was dealing with. She was violent with her sister , kids and me. She was also chasing other drivers on the road if they did any minor thing to her. She currently has a court hearing because of hit and run situation.My psychiatrist friend suspected a bipolar disorder. We all tried to convince her to get treatment. She always said : I am not crazy. She refused.
That reflected badly on the children and me. She was always insulting them , calling them bad words , pulling their hairs and ears , hitting them and screaming at them all the time.
We went for a holiday recently to Turkey. We have a house there. I decided to end the suffering of my kids who were always crying of her actions. The kids are 5, 9 and 13 years old. I stayed back in Turkey with the children . She refused to stay with us.
We are now in Turkey and she is in UK.
I tried to convince her to stay with us. One of the advantages of staying in Turkey is that she was travelling frequently - almost every month to Turkey- and we discovered she was having private medical treatment in there. She probably did not want any records of her case in the UK.
She is now seeking a legal help in the UK to bring the kids back
What is my position legally ? I am leaving Turkey now because I am worried in case the kids are taken back to live with her. I can not prove her illness, I can not force her to take treatment in UK.
I might go to work in the gulf.
Please advise me.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my bets to help you but I need some further information first

Will the children not report on what has happened to them?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for your reply.
I do not want to expose my wife or any of my kids to this trauma.I want them to keep having a good image about their mother.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Do you ever wish to return to the UK?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Currently I have no plans of returning although I am British citizen. I do not know about the future.

You have been given very bad advice

The priority in the UK Court is the needs of the chidlren - not the mother

Please be aware that what you are doing is a Criminal Offence in the Uk and in Turkey - and if you wish to return to either country in the future you will face the possibility of arrest.

You would be far better to return with the children to the Uk and to apply to the Court for an Order that the children live with you

You already have independent evidence of her behaviour outside of the house, and there is no trauma for the children in speaking to a CAFCASS officer trained to work with children.

If what you have said is true then the Court will Order that the Children live with you and simply have ocntact with their mother and you will be free to live in whichever country you chose with out fear of arrest


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks very much for your reply.
Please explain what a CAFCASS mean.
Is it considered an offence even if the mother was with us abroad for some time and she refused to stay with us ?.
I have inadvertently recorded evidence of her behavior but I know judges will not accept tapes.
Her sisters will refuse to testimony.
If I come back with the children she will intimidate them to say nothing.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

My apologies

CAFCASS - Children and Family Court and Advice Service.

Yes retaining the children abroad is still an offence

You do not need her sisters to give evidence - the driving incident is what I was referring to

The tapes may well be usable in certain circumstances - and the children will not be interviewed in the presence of either of you

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for your reply.
Suppose I do not go back to the uk , can I go to any other european country e.g Dublin ?If I go to one of the gulf countries to work , can the children be taken from me back to the uk ?
Can this offence be dropped at some stage ?.
Thanks for your help.

The only countries you can stay in are the ones which are not signatories to the Hague Convention on Abducted children

All European and most Western countries are signatories.

The Offence will remain live until you have been tried for it

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks Ms.Clare for your help and advice.
Please advise me about the best steps I should be taking now to avoid being categorized as a criminal offence.
I may need to come back to the UK.
We left the UK only recently and my wife has not reported any thing.
In the meantime , my priority is to save the children from the abuse.
Thanks very much.

Is you wife still in the matrimonial home or could you and the children return there safely?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she is in the house,
Yes We can return safely.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I meant she lives in the house but at the moment we are all in Turkey including my wife and the kids.

So in fact you have not yet separated?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No we have not.
I was trying all means to keep the whole family together. I was trying to the mother and the father ( me ) in the kids daily life for their normal develpment. But unforunately she is doing the opposite. She is physically and emotionally abusing the children. She can even get witnesses to prove I am the bad one. She has a network of unemployed people who are committing illegal things in the UK. Unfortunately I do not have proofs.

If she does not agree to the children remaining with you in Turkey then you must return to the UK with them and fight the matter through the courts.

If he abusing the children then you need to encourage them to speak to their teachers so that you have independent evidence to back up your application

for the children to spend more time with you than with your wife.

You shoudl then start negotiating with your ex using Family mediation to arrange how the children will share their time between you

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Dear Ms. Clare ,
Sorry I have not written to you for about one week now.
I was preparing to follow your advice and accomplish what you advised me to do in your last reply.
I listened to your advice and I am back to the UK with the children in the matrimonial home.
Now please bear with me and I am happy to pay the required fees.
I will fight my case but I need to protect my assets first because if I start any procedure she is entitled to half of my house. She never worked. She never shared me the responsibly of raising the kids educated and good useful citizens. I tried all ways to explain to her in the past about how any person should be doing some thing useful in this life. she never did. She was only and always spending my kids money behind my back , having unnecessary plastic surgeries done for her overseas and living a luxury life. I was the only worker and I never dared even to buy a reliable car to take me to work. She refused to meet a financial adviser who offered to organize our financial life e.g paying off the mortgage .
I believe the house as an asset should be for my kids .

How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?

What other assets are there and what income do you each have?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The .house is my only asset. I have no other assets.
I do not work now and she never worked. She has the car I bought her before , worth 20000 now.

How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
163; 220 is outstanding on the mortgage. The house is worth £ 560.

How much would a cheaper three bedroom property in the same school area cost to buy?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
About £ 500 I guess. The 3 bedroom flat may be slightly less , may be £ 450.

I am afraid there is nothing that you can do at this stage regarding the house

However if the children do live with you then it is their housing needs which will have priority and your ex will have to wait to receive any capital until the youngest is 18

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks Ms.Clare for your help and assistance.
Can I ask you PLEASE if there is any legal way by which I can take my kids to another country .
If my wife signs a consent , is this enough ?.

She needs to give her written consent - and given her behaviour I suggest that you get it witnessed by a solicitor

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
O.k. Thanks very much for your help.

You are most welcome

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sorry Ms.Clare to bother you with another question.
As I told you before , my wife has surrounded her self with a morally bad circle which will have the impact on my children.
Can I relocate inside the uk ?
She will never agree if I wait for her agreement.
How can I do it legally to take my kids , with or without my wife , with or without her agreement , say to the north of England , find a job and buy another house after selling the current one.
Please advise.

Start the divorce proceedings and then apply for a Residence Order - that is the way forward

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
O.k. Thanks very much.

You are most welcome.

I would be grateful f you could rate my service as without a positive rating I am not paid for my time

Clare and 3 other Law Specialists are ready to help you