How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34897
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
Type Your Law Question Here...
Clare is online now

I have known my wife years, 12 of which we have been

Customer Question

I have known my wife for 15 years, 12 of which we have been married. We rarely had any arguments but on 24/04/16 morning we did and my wife said she needed a break to clear her head and would be back on 27/06/16. She packed a few clothes and said she would be going to our single son not far from home. When I contacted to find out late on the 27/04/16 she said she would not be coming back on the day. Me and our 12 year old daughter followed up but when we got to our son's place she told us she was out and could not see us. In the meantime we had had people fitting new Windows on the house in that week who unfortunately damaged the inner partio door lock requiring us to change it. We changed it on 28/04/16 and send a message to her to advise to inform when she decided to come back home so we could arrange where to leave the keys for her as she used the door to gain entry. She says she turned on 29/04/16 and found herself locked out. This did not go down well with her and she stopped all forms of contact despite she had seen the message later. I was so worried and decided to track her down and found where she was now staying. This again did not go down well with her and she went straight to the police. The police contacted me to contact them. I immediately did. I was shocked to hear that my wife wanted nothing to do with me anymore and I should not contact her. I tried to explain the circumstances and asked them to at least persuade her to contact me as I could not believe it. She finally did and slowly we began to have sensible conversations. She finally admitted she had overreacted and apologised. I also apologised for having said whatever I had said during the argument and any other time before then that might have upset her so much. We are now totally agreed she wants to come back home but the problem is she says she tried to commit suicide and the police took her to a safe house where she in now under strict surveillance only being allowed to go to and from work. To keep her busy she has taken on an additional part time job which over the weekend involves very long hours. I am now worried about her wellbeing. She does not have to as I have a very good job. She also has to attend counselling sessions for which she is not sure when they will end. She agrees she embellished her story in anger to the police about how bad I was and now deeply regrets as the whole issue is being managed on false allegations. She does not know how she can get this resolved quick enough. Neither do I hence this SOS. Please can you help with some advise. We are comforting each other mornings and evenings though texts and her phoning. Ever since she has managed to sneak home on 08/06/16 for a very short time to collect her passport as proof of identity at the new place of work and also some clothing. The whole issue is taking its toll on the whole family
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first.

Where is she meant to be staying?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She is meant to be living with me and our daughter at home which we jointly own. She is being denied to come back until the counselling is completed but she does not require it anymore because everything is based on false allegations she made in anger. She has realised, accepted and apologised to me for what she did.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Where does she stay she is living now - at the moment?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She says she is being kept at a police safe house for abused women under restrictions which only allow her to go to her place of work and back not even allowed to visit our 12 year old daughter living with me. We are not even allowed to know where this is. She is saying that the counselling could take six months to a year. This is tearing the family apart as she is so stressed about it herself. The whole system is grossly unfair as it does not allow the opportunity to hear my side of the story or her pleas to return home.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

May i ask why you believe her?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We discuss some of the issues discussed during the counselling. Initially I had similar doubts but following conversations over several weeks I have a strong feeling she is regretting what she said to the police hoping they would provide her with her own accommodation. Based on her initial embellished story the police are uncomfortable to release her yet in case she gets into trouble and attempts another suicide. Knowing her I am giving her the benefit of the doubt as this incident is totally out of character. She is sending loving messages on a daily basis including phone calls despite the restrictions not to communicate with me.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I am sorry but the Police do NOT provide accommodation in this way

Your wife may well have been given accommodation in a Refuge - and it is true that she is not allowed to disclose the address - the addresses of Refuge's are kept private for the safety of the women and children who use them.

However she is NOT in any way restricted form returning home or from visiting her daughter or you.

Indeed she will have been offered legal help to establish contact with the child - and to investigate the possibility of you being forced to leave the property so that she can return there and live the child herself

It may well be that your wife feels safe and cared for at the Refuge - but if your reconciliation is to stand any real chance then she needs to be honest with you - and talk about what she really feels not hide behind this pretence.

I am sorry - I know this will be a shock but I have to be honest with you

Please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your honest opinion. If indeed she tried to commit suicide and going through counselling as she says, does the period of counselling place any restrictions to visit us? If it is true that she is going through some form of counselling how long does it usually last?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

There is no counselling that would place these restrictions on her

It may be that she feels that she needs this break - but she needs to be honest about that