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Harris, Law Specialist
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I am divorced and my daughter is 13. Over the years since

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I am divorced and my daughter is 13. Over the years since divorcing, my ex has made it difficult for me to see my daughter. There have been very difficult periods and about 18 months ago my ex and I went to mediation. This helped and I have been seeing my daughter quite regularly and we arrange visits directly via email. This has seemed quite normal until this week I received an unusually long and complicated email where she says she wants to not see me for 5 years and talks about me abandoning her.
It is very different from her other emails and totally at odds with how she is when I see her.
I am suspicious that she has somehow been coached to write this. Is there a way for someone to assess the email versus her usual emails?

Hi, thank you for your question. It will be difficult to find out if it is her writing the email or if she was coached, however even if she did write the email she is too young to be making her own decisions about the arrangements - if you were to pursue the matter to court, an independent CAFCASS officer will be allocated who will speak to your daughter and make recommendations to the court. The officer will also indicate your daughter's wishes and feelings and whether they should take precedence.

If the father attempts to stop the arrangements because of this I would suggest that you make a referral to an independent mediator (you can find local ones here: The mediator will assist you both in reaching an amicable agreement that is in your daughter's best interests - as with the previous agreement. If mediation does not help, then you will be able to pursue an application to court under Form C100 together with a £215 court fee to your local family court for a child arrangement order and the court can make a decision regarding the matter. For your information the Court will take into consideration the following when making a decision regarding the application:

1.The wishes and feelings of the child concerned
2. The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
3. The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the courts decision
4. The child’s age, sex, backgrounds and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision
5. Any harm the child has suffered or may be at risk of suffering
6. Capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child’s needs
7. The powers available to the court in the given proceedings

If you have any further questions regarding this please let me know. In the meantime if you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you

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