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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 32086
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I am writing advice as I do not know what to do best - I

Customer Question

For Ben Jones
Dear Sir
I am writing for some advice as I do not know what to do for the best - I share a house with my sister which we own jointly and pay all bills for equally - We are both single in our late fifties and my sister works full time and I am retired and have long term mobility problems due to a type of arthritis and other health problems . For some years my sister has had a friend , a 75 yr old gentleman (she has been seeing him off and on for about 20yrs ) coming to visit her here for short periods - he is twice divorced with 4 adult children and a year ago he was evicted from the basement of his 2nd ex wife's home in London where he had lived for 30 yrs by his daughter who lived there also , as she apparently could not put up with his aggressive intrusive behaviour -( she threw all his belongings on a skip and changed the locks while he was visiting here ) now he lives in ex wife's holiday home in Kent but does not really have security of tenure there as far as I can gather .
He is generally a very irascible man and extremely volatile but he can be very personable and charming to people outside - he is extremely hostile towards me - I think out of possessive extreme jealousy regarding my sister and recently this has become a lot worse - he is verbally abusive and controlling ,interferes with and takes away my belongings, hides car keys , and subjects me to humiliating vicious tirades ,calls me names and pushes me out of the way in an aggressive way - recently he moved more and more of his belongings into our home and is becoming territorial in a very aggressive way - I fear that he is moving in here by stealth which is an unbearable prospect for me -.I feel unable to relax for one second when he is here as he creates a very aggressive intimidating atmosphere in the house - When my father passed away a few months ago he seemed to step up the abuse markedly and subjected me to vicious taunts and tirades of such ferocity that I felt so upset I was forced to pack my case and I went to a hotel , but this was all physically too much for me and I fell in the hotel room badly and severely injured my lower ribs
I was unable to drive home and my sister came and picked me up with him and I was immobilised due to in severe pain for 4 weeks . I expressed to my sister that I cannot take any more of him but she dismisses me or blames me in some way for his causing his antagonistic behaviour saying I annoy him and stand in the wrong places etc etc
When he arrived the latest time there, he took the keys to the back door of the house into their bed room andI had no way to secure the door and it was late in the evening and I wanted to go to bed - I asked them for the keys through the door about 5 times and then I knocked loudly on their door and demanded the keys - he emerged in a fury and called me more crude names and said I was psychotic and should have been sent to the Gas Chambers long ago - he says deeply offensive distasteful things like this frequently to hurt and undermine me
I would like to know what I could do to do to protect myself from any more of this
I do not want to alienate my sister as she has been helping me practically and supporting me in many ways for many years and I am deeply fond of her - I did not want to rock the boat but this is all getting too much for me and I dread the thought of his return here in a few days time -I do not want to involve the police or do anything to attract negative attention to us which would damage our good reputation and standing in this small community - also I have very limited energy to cope with stress and I am on steroids for this - I just want to know my rights regarding some restriction on having this destabilising ,threatening man in my home - I have no other family support and I am isolated due to my health problems and have only a small NHS pension to live on - we have a lovely home here but I feel under threat and everything is being destroyed by all this
I would value your opinion and confidential advice on this matter
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Ben Jones replied 1 year ago.

Hello, thanks for requesting me - unfortunately this is a question which is not within my area of law. I will open to it to all other experts and someone will hopefully pick it up soon. Please do not reply to this as it will just lock the question back to me. Many thanks

Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 1 year ago.
It seems the professional has left this conversation. This happens occasionally, and it's usually because the professional thinks that someone else might be a better match for your question. I've been working hard to find a new professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right professional can take a little longer than expected.
I wonder whether you're OK with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.
Thank you!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
That's fine - I have had good advice today from a family friend who is a solicitor and no longer require further help , please cancel the question ,
Many thanks