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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34886
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My wife wants to divorce me Could i seek your preliminary

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My wife wants to divorce me
Could i seek your preliminary opinion of what will be the outcome in my situation as described below?
I do not want to divorce her. I do not know the reason for her request
We have two children of 14 and one of 22.
My wife refuses to go to any form of mediation - I understood that this is a pre-requisite
requirement before a judge will grant a divorce..?
I am a property developer. I own and manage some twenty flats/apartments contained within 12 houses. Our income is from the rents from these flats. There is substantial equity in these properties all of which have no mortgages
I've been married some thirty years.
Can you advise will a divorce result in my immediately having to sell up and give half of my properties to my wife? The properties are in my name only, save for our marital home. Do I lose control of my portfolio?
Alternatively, will I be able to retain the properties and just give half of the profits to my wife each month? ( plus child care costs )
When I retire at 67- I am now 58, I assume that as each property is sold, half of the proceeds will go to my wife ? My wife has never contributed anything to the purchase of or the maintenance of the properties.
The marital home is an extremely large house that has been divided into a large office /apartment with its own separate entrance. The main house again with its own entrance Each dwelling is entirely self contained. The dwellings sit within a three acre country location. I built it and designed it.
My wife advises/ insists that she does not wish me to live in this marital home. She threatens to remove my children from their home should I not live elsewhere. I care for my kids greatly and I do not wish them to be damaged emotionally by this break up or exposed to being taken from their home, should I attempt to return. I have therefore temporarily been 'blackmailed' into taking up residence in one of my apartments that forms part of the portfolio. This has been the situation since February. I am allowed to see my kids at the weekend but they are of an age where they would prefer to be doing their own thing at home.
I desperately want to return to my home and I am more than content to live separately in the office\apartment but within reach/contact of my kids as and when they want to have such contact. My wife and I would have minimal contact if any by such an arrangement - ie by living adjacent to each other in separate dwellings. What can I do to achieve such an arrangement without distress? My wife appears to be acting totally unreasonably and is not open to this proposal at all.
To say the least I am emotionally strained/ distressed by this situation of enforced separation from my country home and kids.
Can you also advise if my wife is entitled to half of any personal injury payment. I was injured by a car that mounted the pavement I was walking on some years ago. I understood that such monies do not form part of a divorce settlement as it compensates me personally for the consequences of the injury etc
I have no wish to decline my wife or children my financial support.
Your advice is sought...

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

Where are you living at the moment and is there any reason that the children should leave if your wife does?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
As advised I am living in one of my apartments away from the marital home - some 27 miles away
The children are 14 years old - a young 14. They would feel compelled to follow my wife's instruction to follow her demands albeit reluctantly. I do not wish them to feel torn between father and mother. I need to return with my wife's agreement - if necessary as required by a court order that she does not remove the children from their home should I return
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My wife would not leave without the boys.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
During our thirty years of marriage I paid for my wife to retrain as a solicitor. My wife has no experience of family law and only practices for a year before beginning a family My wife believes that she is acting reasonably and within the law as she interprets it. In this respect, although I trained as an architect, I am at a disadvantage.Why do I add this - to try to give you a greater perspective of the situation
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I believe from my own research that there is a precedent for an estranged couple to share a house that has been sub divided.In view of the size of my marital home - it is effectively two large dwellings that can be separated by the closing and locking of one door. It was designed as a separate office/apartment and a family house. To me, my wife and I continue our lives separately enjoying the amenity of our country dwellings with our kids as the one common factor.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
have I adequately answered your question?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Could i ask if I should expect your reply tomorrow ?
Npt that I wish to give the impression of rushing you, I just don't know how this works

My apologies for the delay

In terms of starting divorce proceedings there is no requirement for mediation first I am afraid - she can issue whenever she wishes.

However mediation is a prerequisite before apply for the financial part of the divorce to be dealt with.Given the length of the relationship the starting point for division of the capital assets will be 50/50 - so eventually it is likely that some of the properties will have to be transferred to her so that she can do with them what she wishes.

There is no reason why you shoudl not live in the apartment attached to the matrimonial home while matters are being decided.

However your only real option is sim,ply to move in - it will then be up to your wife how pigheaded she wishes to be.

If she decides to move out then that is HER problem and not yours - you can make it plain to the children that there is no reason for them to go if they do not wish to do so.

With regard to the PI settlement in view of the extent of the other assets it is unlikely that she will have a share of it

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Of greater import are the children - to return home puts the kids in the position of deciding to go or stay with one parent or the other ? At the age of 14 they are not ready to make such a decision, to be exposed to such friction
Does she have the right to take them away with her? What of 'unreasonable steps' no parent can take the children away from their home or out of the country without the consent of both parents?,The children will instinctively follow my wife or will witness an un-pleasant argument at the very least with the children at the centre - the prizeI cant put my kids through that If I return home I have to do so with my wife's consent. Is the court not able to make an order regarding the children? to order that they remain in their familiar settings of their home?

Your eldest child is not relevant so far as the court is concerned.

He is an adult who can live wherever he wishes.

In fact at 14 a child is generally the one to decide which parent they live with - although legally the age is 16 at*****will not gainsay their wishes.

In the long term it is likely that the court will order the sale of the property as there woudl be amply funds for you each to purchase a two bedroom property.

In the short term they will not intervene in the dispute about where you live

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