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Harris, Law Specialist
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I have separated with my expartner 2 years ago. We have a 4

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I have separated with my expartner 2 years ago. We have a 4 year old boy together. It s been two years and i feel like we still can not come to reasonable child arragment. At the moment he has him two days and two nights a week. It took me 6 months to make him come on sort of regular days( which he has changed twice already) and still im hearing he can t make it at least once in a month because his work problems ( he is headchef in the restaurant. Am i in right if im asking the guy to come on regular days abd not willing to be swapping his visiting days because of his work problems ( im a mum in the first place i was forced to leave from my previous job as i cannot do flexible hours and becaouse of the same reason i can not get a full time job in my proffession.
Other question is can i legally somehow protect myself as well as the father keeps threating me with solicitors and courts every time when i dissagree with something( f.e. He wants his future wife to pick up the child from school cause of his work he wil not be able to do so be 5 .15. He leaves one and half hour away. I don t feel she should get involved in his responsibilities and why the child should go the if u
He cannot be there by this time)
Othe issue is recently he has asked me for child birth certificate saying he needs it as a proof for his wedding in polabd. Im not aware of need for this document in order to get married ( but maybe im wrong) however i believe he wants to christianizing our son with me knowing about it. Can he be making such a desicion in term or religion behind my back? ( he is catolic im atheist and i think if the parents can not agree it should be left up to the child when he grts older to make his free choice)
Please i really need profesional advice what to do as in feeling emotionally exhousted and i have enough listening of my ex telling me that im not making it easy for him that im not dressing up my child properly ir that im not allowing him to have a contact with his son
Thank you ja a

Hi, thank you for your question. Just a bit more information required to fully assist you:

-Is the father named on the birth certificate?

-What exactly are the arrangements at the moment (ie. days, times, duration, handover?)

-Is the child in full-time education Monday to Friday?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He is on certificate at the moment he has him from tuesday till thursday ( including the nights ) and then instead of this last week end of the month friday till sunday evening plus two weeks holidays . My son is starting reception in september and im worried wheather this is the best for him at the moment he is picking him up and droping back to nursery (im on benefits however im
Paying for the whole nursery which i don t think is right too) and then sunday he brings him home

How far from the school does he live?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It takes him up to one and half hour from school to home

Thanks - and reception will be Monday to Friday?

How far is your home from the school?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Monday to friday from 8 50-3 20 with posibility of afterschool clubs till 5 15 ( which he still says that sometimes because of his job he can t male it) the school is 10 minwalk from my house ( my son s father will never agree on aragement to have him for the week end or even every second week end again becouse of his work- however ad a headchef he is in charge of making his rota....)

Hi, thank you for the further information.

Despite what the father is stating, it is not for him to solely decide on the arrangements and this must be done in consideration of your son's best interests. It is absolutely not in his interests to have to commute 3 hours each day from his father's house to attend school if you live 10 minutes away and it is highly likely that a court will agree that this is detrimental to his welfare. The father's current work commitments also prevent him from fully enjoying arrangements with the child and therefore you have strong grounds to review the current arrangements.

In relation to the birth certificate and religion issue, the father has no right to solely make a decision regarding the child's religion as you also hold PR and there must be agreement between you regarding such issues - if there is no agreement it will be for the court to decide on major issues under a specific issue order application. Furthermore, the father cannot take the child out of the country without your consent or a court order.

In the circumstances I would suggest that you make a referral to an independent mediator (you can find local ones here: The mediator will assist you both in reaching an amicable agreement that is in the child's best interests. If mediation does not help, then you will be able to pursue an application to court under Form C100 together with a £215 court fee to your local family court for a child arrangement order and also for a prohibited steps order if you feel that he will be baptising the child without your consent and the court can make a decision regarding the matter. For your information the Court will take into consideration the following when making a decision regarding the application:

1.The wishes and feelings of the child concerned
2. The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
3. The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the courts decision
4. The child’s age, sex, backgrounds and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision
5. Any harm the child has suffered or may be at risk of suffering
6. Capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child’s needs
7. The powers available to the court in the given proceedings

If you have any further questions regarding this please let me know. In the meantime if you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for the reply
Just one question is it something too much if im expecting him coming in regular days as the child needs to know literally where he ll sleep next day? ( he is always saying that he has irregular working pattern...)

It is in the interests of the child to have a regular and consistent routine.

I hope this assists you. If you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for your question without a positive rating. Thank you.

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