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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34895
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Can a custodial parent enforce a ban on the other parent

Customer Question

Can a custodial parent enforce a ban on the other parent from taking the child to places that they feel are unfit or dangerous?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

Do both parents have Parental Responsibility?

What kind of place are we talking about?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
At the moment we are separated but I have filed for divorce and we have agreed I will have sole custody.My husband has exposed the children to inappropriate situations by taking them around his mistresses houses and now has introduced them into his new girlfriend's family home without informing me he had a girlfriend and she is extremely young, 21 years his junior, she is 19 he is 40. The girl lives with her parents and her dad has just been released from prison for gbh. I have also found out that they have a dog in the house that attacked someone and was ordered to be destroyed.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Is the dog still there?

How old are the children?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am not sure I the dog is still there because my husband lies but I have asked my son about the dogs in the house and he has confirmed they have a bulldog which is the breed of the dog. The victim was never informed if the dog was destroyed and also they have never paid damages awarded to her. My boys are 3 and 7
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

How often have you been there?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have never been to the house, I only found out about everything the last two days. I know my husband loves our children but his judgement is seriously impaired. These are not the sort of people I would ever allow our children to be around and I have real concerns on the impact their lifestyle and choices could have on them. My husbands sister died last year and since then he has had numerous affairs, one ending in pregnancy. He has allowed one lover into our house whilst my children were there and had sex with her. Myself and his mother have tried desperately to get him into therapy but to no avail. I don't want to wait until something terrible happens. I just want to protect my children
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

My apologies for the typo - I meant how often have the children been there now?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My eldest son spent three days and nights there last week and the youngest one day and night
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Did they have any problems?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No, not that I know of. The only thing I found inappropriate was that my eldest son said that daddy slept on the couch with the daughter which is who he's with so I feel that would be confusing for them. The fact is my children don't know what's right and wrong so I don't want them thinking that's the norm. I know this probably sounds petty to you but the family are well known to the police and the community as undesirables and I don't want my children involved with them. If their dad has bad judgment, do my children have to be exposed to that legally if I'm the custodial parent?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I would just like to know exactly what I can do legally, if anything, to protect my kids. Any good mother would be worried
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
As I have not had any advice on this matter do I still have to pay for it?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I am afraid that there is no longer any such concept as " the custodial parent"

You both have full Parental responsibility even if the children in fact live with you the majority of the time.

The law says that children are entitled to spend time with both parents and the courts will enforce this - and when they are with their father he has complete control over what they do and where they go PROVIDED that he keeps them safe.

Yes it would have been better not to introduce a new partner until they have been together for at least a few months but that has now been done and cannot be undone.

Yes their lifestyle may not be what you like - but again I am afraid that that is not sufficient to allow you to control the ocntact.

The only area where you have any leeway is with the dog.

You are entitled to ask that he provide evidence that the dog is NOT the one which attacked someone and that in any event the chidlren are safe when the dog is around.

You shoudl try and discuss all these issues with your ex using Family mediation

I appreciate that this is not the news that you were hoping for, but it is the position that you face and I have to be honest

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. It's not what I wanted to hear because I feel that I have to just sit back and allow the destruction of my children's lives which will no doubt bring with it its own problems but the law is the law.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

There is some wriggle room.

mediation is a start - and your local Relate MAY run a support service for children