How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35087
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
Type Your Law Question Here...
Clare is online now

Relationship breakdown Assistant: Thank you. Can you provide

This answer was rated:

Relationship breakdown
Assistant: Thank you. Can you provide any more details to help us find you the right Expert?
Customer: Married for 29 years, no other parties involved. I have left home and living with mother as atmosphere unbearable. Husband does not seem to be taking action Okeydoke
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I don't think I gave enough information initially as I didn't think it was going to be responded to. Basically we have been together 30 years and married for 29. I left the house on 25th July as found atmosphere intolerable. I am living with my mum who lives close by. Husband is not responding to my texts or phone calls. We have no mortgage having just paid it off last year. My husband initially mentioned about buying me out but nothing has happened yet. When I mentioned I thought I was entitled to some of his pension he did not seem happy at all. I have seen a flat that I like, but am unable to raise any money on a short term mortgage until I receive money from my husband. Can I get him to speed things up?

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

How much is the house worth?

What other assets are there (including pensions) and what income do you each have?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi, I had to go out so couldn't stay by my computer for your reply. My pension is only small, less than £5,000 as I only worked for a few years, and then brought up the children. Not sure what my husband's is, but he said he would find out. The house is probably worth about £140, we live in the north east, so property prices are low here. I have been looking at flats for round about £70,000. My frustration is really that, although I would like to do things amicably and talk, he is just not replying to any texts or any attempt to contact him, to try and move things forward. I realise that the property is half mine and I can go back at any time, but I would rather not go down this route. He said initially that he would buy me out, and see about getting a mortgage to do this, but things just seem to be dragging on, and if there is no hope of getting back together, I need to find my own place, and need the equity from the house to do this.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.

Are you willing to start divorce proceedings?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Not really at the moment. He mentioned sorting things out amicably but stopped communicating when I mentioned pensions.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
To be honest I don't particularly want all our finances going through in detail. A fifty fifty split would be fine. I didn't want to be in this situation but now feel he is controlling things by not communicating. I have seen two flats I like and am unable to proceed with these.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I feel I am in limbo and yet he is the one who has ended the relationship and is now not communicating. I have spend 12 weeks living with my mum who is 83 and has short term memory loss. Let's say it's not the best arrangement! A friend has kindly offered her home to me, as another short term solution, which is lovely, but I need my pot of money, so that I can go ahead and sort myself out. I left the 'family home' because sadly, I would not be able to afford the upkeep of it myself, and it needs quite a bit of work doing to it, which again, I couldn't afford. As I have already mentioned, my husband originally mentioned buying me out, but when I mentioned his pension, he seemed to think I was more interested in the money, but after 29 years of marriage, then I would think, sadly, I'm entitled to half of his assets. As I must reiterate I didn't want any of this to happen, and still don't, but husband won't go to mediation. It's a dilemma, because on one hand his mind seems made up, but on the other hand, he won't talk about how we resolve things financially, and move forward. My texts are always ignored. Our 22 year old son is switching jobs, and is now 'home' for a couple of months, before getting his own flat. This has further complicated how I feel, because it's almost like home life is carrying on, but just without me there! All very odd.

Sadly the only way that you can be sure of receiving your share of the assets (including as you so rightly point out his pension) is through the financial side of divorce proceedings.

You need to start the proceedings first

Then apply for the financial side to be dealt with

I am sorry - I know that this is not what you want but sadly it is the only option available if your ex will not attend meditation

Please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for your answer. Can I just check, after 29 years of marriage, well 29 in November, would it be a simple division of half of the assets. So basically half the house and half the pensions?

It is certainly the starting point.

It is possible that the court could move from that - especially if your housing needs make it necessary - but they will not move far from it

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you so much for your help. So, in a nutshell, I need to speak to him, and say that I have taken the advice of a solicitor, and have been advised that everything is split 50/50. I will then, I must admit, be happy if he just finds out the value of his pension, and offsets it against the value of the house, then gives me half of the house and half his pension. I have another question which is related to this issue. I saw a flat yesterday that I would like to buy, but obviously at the moment I can't, because I don't have any money and I can't really put in a formal offer. However the vendor has said he is happy to rent the flat to me for a few months, but he needs assurance from me that I will buy when I am able, because he will in essence take the property off the market. Is this something that can be done?

Yes it can be done if both sides agree

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for that information. And just a final thing...sorry I keep thinking of things to do with the situation I'm in. Is there ANYTHING that I can do, if my other half doesn't respond to texts or phone calls? One of my friends has said, 'he has got what he wanted, you have moved out to your mum's, and he is in the house, so he is unlikely to take action.' Do you think this is the case? Do you think I need to get a solicitor involved to galvanise him into action?

I have to say that your friend may well be right.

You may have to start divorce proceedings to concentrate his mind.

Clare and 3 other Law Specialists are ready to help you