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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35054
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I am looking for advice to handle the following situation. I

Customer Question

I am looking for advice to handle the following situation. I have split from my partner and father of our 3 year old child and for several months we have continued to share child care to enable us both to work and jointly cover the costs of raising her. We were not married and no formal split of care responsibilities nor finance has been agreed. I live in the home we jointly own and he is renting a room in a shared house, 1 hour away.
I care for the child at all times with exception of: Thursday PM from 18:00 to 21:00, Saturday 11:00 to 21:00, Sunday 11:00 to 18:00. These hours are my shifts at work and all care is conducted in the jointly owned home. He works full time Monday to Friday in the teaching profession. At times, during annual leave he cares for the child for a couple of consecutive days.
Recently my ex partner has become forceful in withdrawing financial support and is now refusing to care for the child to cover my shifts, risking my employment status. He has also threatened to restrict my movement and therefore preventing me from moving in with my new partner approx 2.5 hours travel away, which is not planned but is being discussed as an option for later in 2017. He has also threatened to take custody and prevent the child from travelling to France for a 3 day trip to Disney land in early 2017. Among other threats he has made, he has also threatened to take the child abroad to live and to restrict my access to her.
My pressing concern is his ability to remove the child and not return her due to no parenting order preventing this and the possibility that he would then move to another country. My secondary concern is his withdrawal of support for my shifts which will remove my income to support my child and force me on to benefits. A final concern is his ability to prevent me exploring options in my life and being restricted to the area he wants me to live in.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

What other child care options do you have?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
At the minute neither of us have local family in the area
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

How realistic is it that he oculd move to another country- does he have relatives abroad?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
As far as I no
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
As far as I know no
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Then for the most part what he is doing is making threats to frighten you.

In terms of the actual problems the threat to take her abroad can be dealt with by way of an Emergency applictaion for a Prohibited Steps Order preventing him from taking the child out of the country.

If he continues to make threats about preventing holidays then you can also apply for an Order that the child resides with you - which allows you to take her out of the oc**try for up to 28 days at a time without asking her father (unless it clashes with court ordered time she spends with him)

These Orders are both applied for using a Form C100.

In terms of a move this is something that can be dealt with through the courts - and if you reasons for moving are strong it is unlikely that a court will prevent it.

With regard to financial support if you cannot agree a payment then you can apply to the Child Maintenance Service (CMS and they will make an assessment - and enforce it if necessary.

There is however nothing that you can dd to force him to help with childcare when you are at work

The first step for all of these issues is to try and discuss matters with him using Family Mediation

If that fails then you may have to conisder more official ways forward.

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
if I was to get married and want to move he can not stop me? As he has said he can stop me moving. Thank you.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I mean if he tried to go for joint custody
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

He can apply to the court for an order stopping you from going (whatever the arrangements between you) but if you have a good reason for moving and you are able to ensure that you bring the child back for contact then it is unlikely that you will be prevented from doing so