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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 32086
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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Related to Family Law - divorced for a couple of years but

Customer Question

Hi Pearl - related to Family Law - divorced for a couple of years but found out some detail mainly financial about my ex-wife both prior to our marital issue and after that was never shared with my lawyers, tax office etc.. Which affected the outcome hugely to the point I gave away a house to a cheating ex-wife. But I have further detail that I can share..
Assistant: Thank you. Can you provide any more details to help us find you the right Expert?
Customer: Yes, I have the following detail. Hello,How are you? I have been divorced since 2011 - I divorced my ex-wife for adultery, originally I paid for all bills and looked after the children as she was out "growing a business" we set-up.Long story short she was having affairs which I found out after her abusive conduct towards the children and myself - can provide further detail if pertinent.I organised counselling and then mediation - we had agreed a 50/50 split in mediation - took this route as I was exhausted paying for her lifestyle with no real benefits to the family (The 3 young children and I).
We had set-up a Ltd company (Weight loss management) and I did all the Marketing and design and other work without a salary and knowingly so as I was keen for her to exceed. We were both directors.
Anyway, after the very messy divorce which I lost the house but I had fought for custody due to her dreadful treatment of our eldest son (witnessed by family/friends and a councillor) but ended up (due to Isle of Man law) basically giving my house away as she had claimed a low wage.I at the time was a senior manager in a Finance Company and earned a good salary but this was more than exhausted with keeping the house and family running. This was without any (not a jot) of support (financially, mentally etc...) from my ex-wife.We ended sharing the children/house for a set time each week - I looked after the children from Wednesday through to Sunday and she Sunday evening through to Wednesday morning!!!This has been in situ since before the divorce (2010). She had also amassed the children allowance and treated herself to a “boob" job (£5000+) prior to our issues and she recovered over 3-4 months where I supported fully. So where she had saved the Child allowance I had to cover over that period without my knowledge I.e. all bills, food, children’s clothes/shoes etc..Anyway during the time I was at the house I found out she was having affairs and as soon as I challenged this (she was blaming me and everyone else for the issues - but in truth she was rarely there to have issues).Anyway as soon as I found out she became mentally abusive, and physically violent - I am not at all violent and do not react to confrontation. But she then introduced the boyfriend to any arguments which initiated calls to the police - they were trying to get me to react physically which I would have never done and also would shout obscenities even in front of the children.I had tried to get her to leave the house but the year we were finalising the divorce she move the business back to the marital house which I was openly opposed to and could do nothing about - so was out manoeuvred - what she had planned - totally dreadful.Anyway I shared all financial information with my solicitor and the whole process cost me a fortune as it dragged through the court.
I believe she sought and received legal aid and I was getting legal letters weekly for stupid items but was done primarily to exhaust my financial standing - this while running children to and from Nursery/school and caring for them in the evening.In the end I left the house as the children were getting notably upset and as we had reached a stalemate - I decided to leave albeit I had bought and solely paid for the house.She initially disclosed minimal financial earnings which we challenged and it went up slightly.I was drilled down to recieving about 7-8% the value of the house which barely covered legal bills and other bills. As such I have had to rent since.This was a disgusting time and total dis-respect was shown to family (again the Children and I). I also pay maintenance although I look after the children the majority of the week.I found some time after I left the house that she earns an excessive amount of Cash and had done for several years prior to the divorce. I state cash as she was cash heavy. I was given money each week when we were together - approx. £1000 to bank but
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for contacting us

My name is ***** ***** do you wish to finish your question?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare,Nice to meet you and thanks for your help. Please find the full detail attached. Apologies if it comes across emotive.. I have recently had a re-occurrence of a medical condition I had as a 6 week old baby and needed an emergency operation and post op the surgeons said this would have been caused by stress as my life and the childrens lives have been affected by a very selfish and aggressive lady.
As such I need to do this to move on as it affects me mentally and financially.
But I hope the attached can provide detail you need..
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Please let me know if the phone call would best suit...
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Please ignore the site popups - they are the bane of my life!

When was the Financial Order actually made?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
When I decided to settle I gave options - 1st and my preference was wait until children were 18 and then sell the house - 2nd was to sell the House and split the proceeds - that I buy her out at 50% or she could buy me out at a slightly lower rate.
This sparked a flury of letters looking to settle a £315K house for £30k due to her financial status which I have since found out was not so. This was in late 2012. Funnily enough I was asked to sign off on this but didnt but my solicitor was sent a cheque which approx £4k was deducted and sent onto me. So since finding out not only was there mental anguish caused but she openly and knowingly lied about her financial status.
I managed to find invoices from our suppliers for a couple of years (not all) but calculating purchase price and sales found out post expenses that her income exceeded £60k a year before tax and as she was not disclosing most this income made the legal financial settlement null and void and cheated me out of my house and now I have to pay rent.
She also had other sources of income not disclosed - she appointed other sales staff (Cambridge Diet product) and when they purchased Cambridge product then she would get 10% commission paid montlhy. As an example the lady that sponsored her made between £400-800 commission paid monthly on my ex-wifes purchases which also helped to calculate her potential income.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I am still not clear - was a Final Financial Order ever actually made and sealed by the Court?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Apologies - had a decree nisi agreed external to going to court mid 2011 and again settled outside of court for the Financial Order late 2012. Never went to Court..
Does that help?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Was the Financial Order sealed by the court - do you have a copy?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Claire,Apologies, I had asked my Solicitor for a copy of our agreement but she has stopped praticing and has had difficulty with trying to find the original document.I have had issues with responding to you not sure if it is time related - I was also off still recovering from a recent surgery..Again apologies but I hope to talk with you soon and hopefully get an answer to this..