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ukfamilysolicitor, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 1485
Experience:  Qualified Solicitor Currently specialising in Family. Also experienced in Corporate, Employment, Civil Litigation, Debt Recovery
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I have been married for 8 years and am seeking a divorce as

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I have been married for 8 years and am seeking a divorce as my husband is a control freak he does not embrace my children as I embrace his and is becoming increasingly difficult to live with. He see's our home as his home and does not bend when it comes to decision making its his way or the highway.Divorce is a last resort, I have changed my life, he asked me to stop working so I rented my home and shipped my furniture to dress his villa in Spain. He is a wealthy man however I am not a gold digger I just want to know if I divorce him after 8 years of marriage I am 66 and we obviously have had no children together, but each have 2 children and between us 8 nearly 9 grandchildren how I would stand? I feel terrible even asking but he is becoming unbearable.
Hello Welcome to Just Ansswer I am a Solicitor and will assist you. Please may I ask: - how long did you cohabit together before you got married?- how old are the children?- what are the values of all the assets for both of you including pensions?- any pre nuptual agreements?- what is the yearly income for both of you? kind regards Caroline
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
We lived together for 2 years prior to marrying, we have had no children together we have both been married previously. I have assets of half a million bought in my name prior to marriage we currently own a property in joint names value £2.3million my husband has other assets and properties I would make no claim on
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
I can talk now but shortly my husband will return then it will be difficult so unless you can call now it might be better to speak tomorrow
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
I have no pension I was self employed he has a pension he was a surgeon no pre nup agreements as I trusted this would work


Would you still like me to call?

I can call now or in the morning? whichever is best for you?

Otherwise I am happy to keep messaging. The pop up for a phone call comes from the site automatically.

kind regards


Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Im happy to message for a bit longer as my husband is due home soon thank you
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
ok thank you

Thats fine by me.

is there a mortgage on your current property?

Customer: replied 6 months ago.

do you know the values of your husabdns other assets?

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
but there is a mortgage on my house that I rent of £130,000 the house is valued at £620,000

so thats your 490k asset that you mentioned?

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
he has pensions and other valuable properties but as I said I make no claim on those

sorry to nag - are they worth more than your assets? a lot more? what do you both earn?

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
my house bought before our marriage is valued at £650 less amortgage of £130,000 our joint home is recently valued at £2.3 million no mortgage
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
he has more than me much more we are both retired but he earns from a variety of investments
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
I have no income at present as my house is not let


Thank you for that.

I will prepare an answer for you now. This will take me a little while to type.

kind regards


Customer: replied 6 months ago.
he tells me that in the event of my death he will own my house? however my name only is on the deeds and I have left it to my 2 children this is an example of his quiet bullying methods which is unsettling
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Thank you Caroline please would you email your answer to me as my husband is now home. Many thanks for your help and advice it is good to get a professional opinion. My email is***@******.***

I am sorry to hear this. Was your will made after your marriage?

did you make any provisions for your husband in the will?

anything else you want me to know?

Im sorry I can only go through the site but log back on when you can and ask any follow up questions after you have read it.

kind regards


Customer: replied 6 months ago.
my will was revised after my marriage as I wanted to make provisions for my children as my ex husband has made no provisions for them. I have not left anything to him as he is a very wealthy man and his children will be well cared for. That is why I make no claim on his other assets as I wouldnt want to take what is rightfully theirs. How do I stand with regard to my own house is he able to steak a claim on it?


Thank you so much for your patience.

What you need to know is that the correct way of dealing with the matrimonial finances is by making a claim in relation to the same which can only be commenced once divorce proceedings have been issued.

The matrimonial finances includes all of the assets and liabilities for both of you. This does includes your assest and all of your husbands assets. You will both be under a duty of full disclosure to provide full details of all assets and liabilities for both of you to each other.

With a long marriage, such as yours then the starting point for the division of all assets is equality.

The court considers the following criteria when deciding whether to depart from equality:

The income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would, in the opinion of the Court, be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;The financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;The standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;The age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;Any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;The contributions which each of the parties has made or is likely in the foreseeable future to make to the welfare of the family, including any contribution by looking after the home or caring for the family;The conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would, in the opinion of the Court, be inequitable to disregard it;In the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to each of the parties to the marriage of any benefit which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage, that party will lose the chance of acquiring (e.g. a right to your spouse’s pensions).

As your income is less than your ex husbands then you need to be seeking a larger share of the assets somewhere around 10 -20% more. I do note that you do not intend to seek any of your husbands other assets other then the matrimonial home and you want to retain your pervious home. I do not know the value of your husbands other assets but if they are substantial then these can be offset against your assets and the matrimonial home so in effect for him to retain the same the you would get a larger share of the other assets - that being the matrimonial home.

As you currently have no income you also need to be considering claiming spousal maintenance, which again can only be claimed on divorce. The court will consider what needs you have and want to meet these.

You need to consider referring to family mediation. This is a prerequisite before you can apply to court. Google family mediation in your area and give them a call to self refer.

Mediation will try and help you both through full disclosure of both your financial positions and discussions about division. If agreement can be reached at mediation then a consent order should be submitted to the court for approval.

If agreement cannot be reached at mediation then the mediator will sign the form that you need to apply to court.

In reality the court will order the house be sold so that your shares can be realised.

In relation to your will, whilst you are still married, if you were to pass, as there is no provision for your husband in that will, you need to be aware that he could challenge the same. A court would likely order him half interest in the same if he was to challenge your will. This wouldnt be the position if you were divorced.

Let me know if I can assist you further

kind regards


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Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Thank you so much one last question if we remain together and he should pass before me in the event he might change his will before passing would I be in a position to challenge that too?


Thank you for your response.

Yes - this works both ways.

The relevant area of law is the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975.

Do let me know if I can assist you further

kind regards