Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will assist you.
I am so sorry to hear what is happening.
What you need to know is that it is the position of the courts that children are entitled a really good relationship with both of their parents and that this should prevail as long as there are no child protection concerns. Just because you have split up from the mother is not a reason why the children should be denied a relationship with you.
Basically, the court sees the parents as equals.
All, the above being said I cannot tell you that it is the best course of action to collect your son from school if the mother will not agree. It is true that you hold parental responsibility and therefore if you did collect your son from school and the mother decided to call the police for assistance, as long as there are no current court orders in place to say that the children live with her, then the police are likely to provide little assistance to her. The police might undertake a welfare check, which involves checking that there is somewhere for your son to sleep, food for him to eat, and that he is ok with you, but other than that the police are likely so say that as you have parental responsibility the matter is a civil one and will not return your son to her without a court order.
The mother could then make an urgent application to the local courts asking for your son to be returned to her and in the first instance the court will likely make such an order and this would put you on the back foot in relation.
The better action would be to make an application to court yourself for a child arrangements order so that the court can make an order in relation to the time that the children spend with you.
Mediation should also be considered. This is actually a prerequisite before you can apply to court.
Mediation is independent and a way of reaching agreement without the need for court. There are lots of family mediation services and there will be one local to you. Google family mediation in your area and give them a call to self refer.
If mediation cannot reach agreement then the mediator will sign the form so that you can apply to court. The court form is the C100 form and the court fee is £215 although you may be eligible for a reduction or waiver depending upon your means.
The court will want to promote the relationship with both parents and they can investigate the concerns that the school is raising about your sons behaviour and the root cause of this, although it sounds like it is because he is being denied a relationship with you. The court will not be happy with the mother for denying a relationship between the children and you. Once a child arrangements order is made this can be enforced if the mother does not comply, which means the mother could be sanctioned such as a fine if she does not comply with the order.
Its better to deal with this asap so as to get the children back into the routine of having a regular relationship with you.
Let me know if I can assist you further
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