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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35564
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My ex first met our daughter Feb 18 when she was 3 years

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Dear sir/ madam,
My ex first met our daughter Feb 18 when she was 3 years old.
I broke up with him whilst pregnant as he punched my son with autism in the stomach when o holiday.
I have never denied him access however he constantly harassed me via email and text. Yet I still said he could see her. He also tried to get me done for benefit fraud, tried getting me on Jeremy Kyle when my daughter was 3 days old. In December 2018 he reported me to social services saying I neglect my daughter, she has behavioural issues and I'm an alcoholic. All these allegations was proven untrue.
Contact was stopped Nov 18 as he didn t agree that I said it was too early for every other weekend staying with him.
He contacted me just before her 5th birthday Sep 18.
I invited him to her party and he came with his new partner and her daughter.
I've just got off the phone to cms saying he is denying parentage.
He is very manipulative and I've had social services call me in the past saying he has had a knife to his stomach during a dispute with his ex partner.
Because he has denied parentage is there a legal way to say he has no rights to access to her now?
He is also not on the birth certificate.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Kind regards
***** *****

Let me see if I can help. The fact that he denied parentage is not a ground in law to prevent him from spending time with the child. However the fact that he has been violent and threatening to kill himself may well be a very good reason from a safeguarding perspective to prevent him from having contact or indeed unsupervised contact. I would not allow any contact unless and until you are confident that it is safe. He would have to apply to the court for a child arrangements order to be allowed to spend time with the child. I have to help you attached a link to a great book which explains the court process should this be necessary - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Represent-Yourself-Family-Court-understanding/dp/147211910X

Happy to discuss and please rate 5 stars

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
That I already know from research what I want to know is. Because he has denied parentage do I have legal rights to deny access until he has provided a DNA sample?
What would the legal terminology be if inwrote to him in an email to say this?
Of course I want my daughter to have a father, however I do want him to prove he is mentally stable in her presence and to build up a relationship slowly .
However j find his demands unreasonable. He's never supported her financially, however if he has denied parentage has he now revoked all rights to contact now?
Kind regards
***** *****

Is he on the birth certificate?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
No he isn't
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I really cannot afford the fee tbh. I'd love to but I'm broke. I just wanted legal terms and terminology to write an email with facts. If that doesn't work I will have to find a solicitor as I'm not getting answers
Kind regards ***** *****

Ok. Then he does not parental responsibility. If he wanted contact then you could insist that there bee DNA. You would be able to insist that the relationship is built up slowly. Happy to discuss and please rate 5 stars for my time.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I have insisted the relationship is built up slowly. He does not understand that this is in the best interests of our daughter .
Legally I can say access denied due to denial of parentage?
As stated before I cannot afford the fee to call
Kind regards
***** *****

Then do not agree anything and let him take you to court (the book will help) as he court will support you. The fee to call comes up automatically. But please rate 5 stars form time

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
if I asked for a call I do not have to pay for the fee for time?

Yes I am afraid you would have to pay the fee for a call - but I am happy to answer this way, but please rate 5 stars for my time.

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
what is the £56 for that I have just paid then? I can get these answers on Google and parenting forums. I'm not very satisfied with the service I'm afraid. Its just politician answers
Kind regards
***** *****

I do this area of law everyday, so have been trying to help you. But I shall opt out and let someone help if you would prefer

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
please.
Many thanks for your time
Kind regards ***** *****

My name is ***** ***** I have been a solicitor for more than 35 years

I am a little confused about when your ex last saw your daughter - it would be helpful to know as then I should be able to give you a clearer guide to the way forward

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Hi he saw he for the first time in a year on Saturday 15th September. He asked if he could see her again and I agreed. However he is no telling child maintenance that he is not the father.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
As I stated to the last expert. I'm concerned why I have paid £56 for no solid answers to be met with the same answer to call for an additional fee. I cannot spend more money out. There for I will have to save some money up to go to a solicitor in person and get some answers.
Apologies of I'm coming across as rude however I just want an answer. To this question :
Can i legally deny requests of contact on the basis he is now denying parentage until he has given a legally binding DNA sample? Also would this be detrimental towards me in a court case?
It appears I'm just getting asked for more additional costs for a straight answer.
Kind regards ***** *****

Thank you for that information - and I do understand your frustration with the site

I am also sorry about the site popups - if I could turn them off I would.

As you are aware your ex does not have Parental Responsibility for your daughter as he is not named on the birth certificate and you have not signed a Parental Responsibility Agreement

However the law says that a child is entitled to have a relationship with both parents provided that can be managed safely.

The right is that of the child - not the father - which I can see youbelievee as well

If you are certain that he is in fact the father then it would be unwise to say he cannot have contact because he have said the child is not his.

This is not because it would be unreasonable - after all he is the one being stupid, but because it would not be respecting your own wishes for your daughter.

What you can - and should - do is continue to say clearly that your ex needs to show that he is committed to having contact with the child; will not dip in and out of her life AND will build the relationship at her pace and not his!

I would offer contact at a local Contact Centre for a couple of hours a fortnight suggesting that it move out of the centre after, say, six visits and builds up slowly in terms of time from there

If he accepts it - great - if not your offer is reasonable and if he chooses not to accept it that is his choice and not yours!

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Hi thanks for your response.
I have suggested the following for the best interest of our daughter
6 months every other weekend 2 hours soft play
After that if she appears happy and comfortable 10 months every other weekend 10am till 5pm Saturday or Sunday
If this continues without breaks and she is happy and comfortable then proceed on every other weekend contact.
This apparently is unreasonable in his eyes.
So should I go ahead with contact for 2 hours at soft play as arranged for the 29th of September and go along with child maintenance and let him pursue a DNA test that he will have to pay for?
It would not be advisable on my part to stop contact in the mean time then?
Kind regards
***** *****

Excellent suggestion - although soft play with you present does not really give him any real responsibility for the child and her care!

Although it is your choice you will come over as the more reasonable parent if you do go ahead with the arrangement!

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
is my suggestion reasonable? Would that look favourable if he took me to court?
I sit in the coffee area away from them so it's literally just him and her together for two hours.
As for regards ***** ***** maintenance issue. Should I not contact him regarding this and let him go ahead with paying out for DNA testing? This will incur charges on his part and backdated maintenance pay towards our daughter.
I really do not like conflict, I tend to run away from it. However I am thinking what is best for our daughter and do not want to cause any animosity, where he could be putting unreasonable thoughts into her head.
Kind regards,***** *****

Yes I think it is reasonable and well thought through.

It is up to him - either he pays for the DNA testing or he pays maintenance - his choice

You are doing well

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
ok great thank you. I will carry on with the arranged contact. If he mentions it when I meet up with him so he can see our daughter I'll just say I am not here to discuss this matter today as today is about you spending time with our child. However if you wish to speak to me about it, please contact me through e-mail. That way everything is in writing? Apologies for keeping you up. This is my last question on the matter so far.
Kind regards,
***** *****

That sounds good - I hope all goes well

Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35564
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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