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Hi, I'm Lea
Your ex wife would be able to make an application to court if she had an established relationship with your daughter that exceeded three years (if that were the case), however, given the two year lapse since seeing her, it is less likely that a court would now consider it in your daughter's best interests to re-establish a relationship - she's left it a bit long. I would hazard a guess that this is why the solicitor has suggested mediation as often people come to agreement via that and can avoid court proceedings.
If your ex wishes to apply to the court, she would first need a) a sign off on the form from the mediator (to say she attended a MIAM), b) permission from the court to make the application since she does not have parental responsibility. The court would consider the application for permission before considering anything else. You would have the opportunity to object to her being given permission at that stage, and if permission was in fact granted, you would still have the opportunity to put your views about contact across when child arrangements are being discussed. At 12 your daughter's views would be taken into consideration by the court - and would be sought by CAfCASS (court appointed social workers).
You can of course refuse mediation if you do not want to engage.
Does that assist?
If you refuse mediation, she would still have to attend a MIAM - as I stated above. Once that was signed she would be able to go to court.
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