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F E Smith
F E Smith, Advocate
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 16513
Experience:  I have been practising for 30 years.
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Assistant: How can I help? can I use evidence from a private

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Assistant: Hello. How can I help?
Customer: can I use evidence from a private investigator licensed abroad regarding proof of adultery in divorce case against my husband?
Assistant: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: Yes I’ve submitted the petition but at the time I didn’t have concrete evidence of his indiscretions
Assistant: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: Croydon Surrey
Assistant: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: He’s travelling again soon and I’m considering whether to engage the PI abroad

Good morning. i will assist with your question - be aware this is an email not chat service therefore i maybe delayed in replying.

for background -

how long have you been together and married in total?

what is the issue with the adultery? are you hoping to get more money from the divorce?

any children under 18?

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Married 18 years
2 children one 18 one 2.5 yr old toddler both girls
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
He’s dragging the process but meanwhile he’s continuing to see other women whilst my life is on hold waiting to conclude the case
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
If I obtain the evidence of his deceit I will amend petition and ask to progress with the financial court order process
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
At the moment things have stalled he declined receiving the acknowledgment of service
Recently he engaged a solicitor who has now asked the divorce centre to reissue the paperwork
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
The issue is he wants us to sell the house and share proceeds before the divorce

It is unlikely that the court would accept the evidence of a private investigator who is not registered in the UK.

It’s up to the judge but unlikely.

Even if it was a UK private investigator, the private investigator would virtually have to have caught them in the act.

I’m sorry to be the prophet of doom but to all intents and purposes, I forget divorce on the grounds of adultery unless your spouse admits it.

It’s easy to get divorced for unreasonable behaviour so being brutally honest with you, I wouldn’t mess around with adultery and I would just put a petition together for unreasonable behaviour and his flirting would certainly be one of those grounds even if you didn’t have actual evidence of sexual intercourse taking place.

Unreasonable behaviour. Most common and relatively easily to put together a petition on these grounds. For example:

A spouse wants an unreasonable amount of sex/never once it.
Lack of personal hygiene/obsessive personal hygiene.

Obsessively tidy/extremely messy and untidy.

Gambles to excess/it’s tightfisted with money.

Never interacts with spouse or children/obsessive with children.

Violent or bullying or intimidating.

Excess alcohol.

Lots of grounds.

Spouses ignoring paperwork is common.

If you don’t know where your spouse is, then provided you have made attempts to contact him, there is a process for doing that where the service of documents is dispensed with:

the government to the rescue again with a website on that subject:

If you know where your spouse is but he won’t sign the papers, then you can make an application court for Deemed Service of the papers provided you can prove he’s had them and is just ignoring them.

Here is an article on the subject:

Can I clarify anything else for you?

I am happy to answer any specific points arising from this.

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Thank you.

If you still need any points clarifying, I will still reply because the thread does not close.

Best wishes.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Ok thanks for the advice
I had listed a number of reasons for unreasonable behaviour in the petition I submitted in June 2019
I did not mention adultery but inappropriate behaviour with other women
There is one incident he did admit to but it’s old around 2012/2013
I guess I was just thinking this could add to evidence of his unreasonable behaviour if required and his deceptive behaviour
He is planning to travel to a different country for this affair but claiming he’s travelling to another country to visit brother in law as a way of deceiving me, he’s recently purchased sexually enhancing tablets and women’s perfume which kinda suggests
I’m not bothered much about his relationships right now but the fact that I cannot progress with the divorce or my life whilst he’s stalking the process
I’ve taken your advice on board

If you are using it and evidence of unreasonable behaviour, that’s a different issue. I think that would be perfectly acceptable.

Remember that unreasonable behaviour is not a character assassination. You just have to prove that it’s unreasonable for this woman to continue to remain married to that man.

The incident in 2012/2013 is not relevant because after this length of time (indeed after 6 months) you would be deemed to have acquiesced to the conduct if you had remained together.

I am glad to help. Please don’t forget to use the rating service because it means that can continue to provide affordable and timely legal advice to people with similar problems.

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Kind regards

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Ok many thanks *****’m trying to divorce him in the most amicable dignified way but he’s telling his solicitor my grievances are made up and denies the emotional abuse which my daughter has witnessed and I appreciate the courts are reluctant to use children’s evidence and I want them to improve their relationship long term future etc
The abuse was linked to his abuse of alcohol mostly
He gave people outside the impression he’s a family man and he’s a “nice guy”
Hence why I need to prove some of the inappropriate unreasonable behaviour etc
He’s not been supporting family but can afford trips abroad to be with other women etc

His solicitor is milking this because there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for your husband to not just nod politely, agree to everything you have said and end up divorced.

He will be paying his solicitor a load of money for the argument and you will get divorced in the end anyway.

It doesn’t matter who divorces who or why, the financial settlement is exactly the same.

The only thing that blame one way or the other affects is the actual dissolution costs of the divorce itself which is probably going to be a couple of grand unless as I said, is solicitor is milking it.

You can always say that if he was the petitioners it is, you will agree to split the costs 5050 but limiting solicitors costs to your contribution of GBP500 along with the 50% of the petition fee which is GBP550 divided by two.

Tell the solicitor that instead of wasting time arguing, as client would save a whole load of money by actually moving the thing forward in a positive way

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Ok having reflected on this and recent developments I think I’ll formally engage a solicitor
Perhaps that’ll move things forward better and I can discuss the available options if he remains uncooperative or obstructing progress by dragging feet changing goal posts saying he didn’t receive the acknowledgment of service etc

But whilst he is dragging his feet and his solicitors are writing to you, he is accumulating costs at about GBP200 per hour whereas you are not.

There is nothing particularly difficult about making an application for deemed service of documents.

However sometimes, it’s easier just to bite the bullet, wipe your hands of it and just let someone else do it and sit back and let it all happen in the background.

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
You’re so right
I can no longer waste my energy on this I’ll get a local solicitor to engage with his solicitor which I’ve been considering doing for a while.
Thank you so much have a good day ��

I am glad to help.

Insert please don’t forget to use the rating service. It really is important and does help me. Thank you.

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