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Category: Law
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Experience:  Barrister at Self Employed Barrister
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I ended my long term relationship with my partner 3 weeks

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I ended my long term relationship with my partner 3 weeks ago (we didn't live together) and since then he has been sending me abusive texts every 2 days, sometimes twice a day. I have ignored them, apart from once when I had asked him to stop sending me these messages and threatening me. I also sent another trying to placate him by just starting that I was being honest when I ended the relationship (as he is imagining that I have cheated on him with another man, when the truth is I have left due to my decision with no one else involved). The messages are not threats to me personally but are to my friends, also stating he will send a "get well card" and letter telling my elderly mother who has just had an operation "some home truths" about me or hand delivering them to my parents' home. As well as stating he wishes he could be there when I receive the news that one of them dies whenever that happens in the future, which is upsetting. I was initially going to block his number but am worried that I will not know what he is going to do next by doing so. So far he has not done anything but this morning I received a text stating that I better make sure that I have his "bed ready" for when he comes to pick it up. He is referring to an antique bed which he gave me as a gift 8 years ago and which I have been sleeping in ever since. I am frightened that he will come around to my home and I am not in the position to deliver it to him or have an alternative bed to sleep in. I feel like this is an excuse for him to enter my home which I do not want. My question is, does he have a right to take the bed back, as it was a gift and come to my home? I have not replied to any of these texts but they are escalating. Please note that he previously received a caution when I split with him 15 years ago from the police for harassment of me and sending cards to my parents, although he was never charged.
Assistant: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: No
Assistant: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: UK
Assistant: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: My ex partner is on long term antidepressants and has previously been treated for psychosis.

Let me see if I can help and please rate 5 stars. Firstly to your specific question, if the bed was a gift then he is not entitled to it back. It is yours and he has no right to it. From what you have said he is continuing to harass you and you may wish to consider applying to the court for a non molestation order to prevent him from contacting you. In essence, a Non-molestation Order is exactly what the term describes. It is a civil order obtained by a victim of domestic abuse from a Judge (or Magistrates) through the Family Court. The term molestation has a wide interpretation – it can include, but is not limited to, physical, emotional, financial and sexual abuse, and it can also cover coercive and controlling behaviour, intimidating behaviour and harassment. The abuse can be once or over a sustained period of time. By obtaining a Non-molestation Order the court proclaims that the abuser (a perpetrator of the abuse against a victim) cannot do or take certain actions, for example, not to approach the victim, not to act in a threatening manner or use violence or abuse towards a victim (in some cases the child(ren)) or attend any property occupied by the victim. The Non-molestation Order would usually specify that the abuser cannot use or threaten violence but may also prohibit other, more general behaviours, which amount to harassment or cause distress to a victim. An example might be unwanted and frequent contact with the victim by numerous means, through social media and text messages and not just telephone calls. In short, the Non-molestation Order, if granted, prohibits the abuser from ‘molesting’ the victim. Happy to discuss and please rate 5 star

 

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Thanks for your response. Would this order also apply to preventing him from sending distressing mail to relatives and threats to friends? In addition would I have to go to court for the molestation order to be implemented and what does the process involve? I would like to get an idea of whether this takes a while.
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Thanks for your response. Would this order also apply to preventing him from sending distressing mail to relatives and threats to friends? In addition would I have to go to court for the molestation order to be implemented and what does the process involve? I would like to get an idea of whether this takes a w
hile.

Let me see if I can help and please rate 5 stars. It would prevent him corresponding with you and other family members. You would have to go to court but a solicitor can help by doing all of the talking and going with you. The process is straight forward and can be sorted quite quickly. If you want to have a call we can discuss your options. Please also rate 5 stars

Hi Justanswer works on a rating system and so that I can close this question can you please rate. Could you please let me know if it has answered your original question? You can either reply on here with a quick ‘Yes, thanks’, or select 3, 4 or 5 stars on this page.This is how Justanswer works. I can still answer follow up questions if needed to clarify anything for you. But this lets me close the case and not need to email you again. If you need more assistance, please use the reply box below and let me know. It has been my pleasure to assist you! Many thanks​

 

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Thank you, one last question: Even though the last time I reported his harassment was 14 years ago, would this still be on record and if so, would it be taken into consideration in court?

The court can look at everything - even 14 years ago, but it will give greater weight to more recent incidents, such as the texts. Happy to discuss and please rate 5 stars

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