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F E Smith
F E Smith, Advocate
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 15681
Experience:  I have been practising for 30 years.
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Please. I divorced 4 years ago and have been suffering

Customer Question

please. I divorced 4 years ago and have been suffering coercive control behaviours every since I left. As a result I applied for court to get a child consent order in place which is now and has been since January this year. My ex husband unfortunately now realises he doesn't want to be tied to this agreement and wants me to make changes or he is pushing we should seek mediation or go back to court.
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: Just want some information about what my options would be. I borrowed money and paid full costs of the court case which was over £3k Yes the judges signed a consent order giving details of the care of our child
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: It was Oxford Magistrates court
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: I have filed domestic abusive police reports against him but otherwise that is it
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  F E Smith replied 6 months ago.

Good afternoon. I will assist with your question - be aware this is an email not chat service therefore i maybe delayed in replying.

what does the child consent order say?

are you asking if you can ignore his 'demands/pleas' to go to miediation as he is coercively controlling and police aware of his abuse?

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
The consent order states our son lives with me and that my ex has set phone calls per week, set holidays per year and every other weekend with him. There are other clauses that we can be flexible and agree to change things if need be and we were ordered to attend a parenting course which we have both done. I just want to know whether mediation would permitted as a consent order is in place? If court was something he decided to go back to, would the judge be the ones to make the decision. The current consent order was drafted by me with solicitors and then we negotiated until both of us agreed. It was put to the judges on the day and they signed it off
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
I was under the impression this was a free service. Am I being charged for this? I am a single mum on benefits and cannot afford to pay
Expert:  F E Smith replied 6 months ago.

I don’t deal with money, only answer questions. There are a variety of different schemes including a 5 pounds, a free question scheme trial and a subscription so it depends which one you ask the question under.

You would need to take that up with customer services.

Meanwhile, to answer your question, call his bluff and tell him that if he wants to take you to court he can. Just deal with whatever he brings to the table, as it arrives.

It seems that he only wants to change the arrangements by way of controlling because he wants his own way.

The alternative for you is to simply agree to whatever he wants because that will put the wind out of his sails.

What you have to ask yourself here is what exactly is the problem, and what outcome do you want?