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plclegal
plclegal, Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 4458
Experience:  Barrister at law
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Assistant: How can I help? Is this live? Or real? Assistant:

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Hello
Assistant: Hi. How can I help?
Customer: Is this live? Or real?
Assistant: Where is this? It matters because laws vary by location.
Customer: This isn’t real :(
Assistant: What steps have been taken so far?
Customer: I’m taken therapy
Assistant: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: Just want advice on something that happened to me years ago and how I can feel better moving forward
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
I’ll give a bit more context.

Hello, my name is Peter and I’ll do my best to assist you today.

Please bear in mind as this is an email service and not live chat I may not respond immediately.

How can I help?

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
In 2015 I was in an incident with an my girlfriend at the time where a heated argument In public was seen by the police and they arrested me, my girlfriend at the time was trying to stop this happening and trying to explain it was just an argument. But they put me in the back of a car and took me too the station the whole experience was horrible I was in complete panic the whole time. My girlfriend came down the the station and kept telling them not to press any charges or to do anything while I was in a cell. They decided to take it to court and I was got a conditional discharge on the basis that it was seen that I pushed my girlfriend at the time. It was more a shove to be like ‘get away from me’ in the heat of the moment during an argument. After the Court thing we decided to put it to rest and stayed together for another year or so. Our relationship came to an end for other reasons. She thought I left her for another woman and it made her upset but she never public brought up what happened with the police, unfortunately another woman who has been involved in my life as an obsessive person saw that I broke up and that my ex was upset about it and starting snooping for info. She found out that I had this incident with the police. She befriended my ex and made her believe I was a bad person, I never had any issues from my ex, but only this woman. I later did get into another relationship, which didn’t start of well because this woman was getting involved by telling the new girl horrible things about me, the relationship was short lived and I ended the relationship because I didn’t want the stress in my life and I wanted to move on and cut off ties with my past and these experience. The new girl is unhappy with the way things have ended and is no threatening me saying she’s going to do this and that if I don’t answer her calls or get back to her. Stuff like that. She later befriends this woman and the woman convinces her to go to the police to make an allegation against me and trying to use the info of my condition discharge and a previous caution to try and convince police that I had done something. I was randomly arrested one day which apprently was 4 months or so after she made the allegation. At this point I was starting to get in a better place and start to feel postive about my life. They questioned me and released me on bail, I was on bail for a whole year! It was the most horrible experinace ever and I developed extreme anxiety one incident ended me up on A + E from an extreme panic attack. I was on bail for that long because everytime I went back they would say, ‘come back in a month’ etc it was on going and horrible. I went to my GP and he advised CBT which I did, which helped a bit. My panic attacks were very bad, I felt like I couldn’t be myself, during the time of the bail, I wouldn’t speak up for myself, if people were being unkind to me I wouldn’t defend myself , I let a lot of people take advantage of me, and I’m some ways I allowed for bullying in a place I was living just because I was too anxious to stand up for myself, I would have the worst panic attacks at work if I was a tiny bit late or if I wanted to end the job. I couldn’t form relationships because I was too scared of being myself and relaxing. I wouldn’t be intimate with people because I was very anxious.

The bail stop and the investigation ended. And there were no further actions.

This felt a bit better but I was still stuck with this trauma and have been ever since. I have therapy now and have been going for 12 weeks now,
And I’m in a new relationship. The problem is I feel like I’ve lost a huge part of my confidence and who I am, I’m scared to be myself, stand up for myself and what I believe. And I’m scared to be intimate, I feel like I’m now a bit too soft. And my pursuit in life requires a strong character.

Another thing I didn’t say is, this woman who instigated eveything, has gone around in the industry I’m in to tell potential work people that I’m a mental and physical abuser and she also publicaly posted a long winded story about my relationship with her and the incidents that happened with me and the police.

What I’m trying to say is, now I feel very scared to just live my life and be happy. I’m in a new relationship now that’s almost 3 years and she doesn’t understand why I’m an anxious person and why I’m not standing my ground and why little things make me panic.

Is there anything you can say to me from a legal point of view that can make me feel okay.

Can I still express myself and not feel very scared about it.?

I know that’s long winded and the psychological aspect is maybe not your area, but I am seeing people in that area, maybe you can give expert advice from your knowledge and experience

Thankyou

I appreciate there's a lot you've been through here.

I can't comment on the psychological aspect, as you say.

Legally, you only have a conditional discharge and no further action/ charges of note. And from what I can tell from the timeline, the CD was some time ago, back in 2015.

What are you afraid of, legally, at this point in time?

 

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Thankyou for reading, I guess my paranoia is that it might happen again. Like someone might find out about this charge and judge me and use it against me. I’m ultimately scared that I’m gonna end up in trouble with the law for being myself and if anything was to ever happen with the law they would see that on my record and just decide I’m a bad person

If it helps at all, from a legal perspective, your record is far from suggesting that you are a bad person. It suggests to me that you have had an isolated issue in a domestic setting that resulted in nothing more serious than a conditional discharge.

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
How would other people perceive that? If they heard about it would they consider me dangerous or a bad. Like person, like relationships or work situations?
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
If people did know about that and they thought I was ‘confident maybe or ‘aggargant’ would they relate it to that and think I was a nasty bad person who has a criminal record to proof it?

I honestly don't think they would - its a very minor record. And the offence in question was some time ago.

I hope this clarifies things?

If so, please take a second to rate my response with 5 stars as this will credit me for my time.

Thanks and do let me know if you have further questions, follow ups are part of the service, even if you have already taken the time to rate for me.

Kind regards,

Peter

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
okay im going to show you one more thing to ger you advice on
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Sorry this is long, so this is something that woman I mention posted online, and this is what she is going around saying about me. And when I work with brands and companies she anomalously contacts them to tell them I’m a ‘abuser’ and stuff like that. I feel scared to be myself and live my life publicly because I feel like any info she will get on my progression she will try to sabotage it. And my paranoia make me think that people I want to work with know about this and have a view on it and will just have nothing to do with me because of it
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
This is the kind of thing that has really effected my confidence and what I’ve been paying for private therapy for for a long time
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
I wanna just feel okay with everything and enjoy my life now and put myself out there comfortable, with my profession. Instead of thinking things like ‘what if these people know about this they would see me differently and they wouldn’t want to work with me’

I will reply to this in the morning. I don't have time to view all of the attachments just now. Thank you.

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
Okay thankyou

This doesn't name you specifically, as far as I can see.

If this is untrue and is being posted in a public forum, you can report it as harassment.

You should seek specialist advice about whether you have a claim under defamation law (though these claims are costly and difficult to bring, I have to say).

I hope this clarifies things for you.

Please do take a second to provide a positive rating for me as without this I'm not credited for my time.

Thanks and best wishes,

Peter

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
yes, I understand that, but she is doing it without using my name, but people know its about me and she tells people in person, I've been told this. she also contacts companies I work for anomansly telling them not to work with me. the main effect its having on me is my self-esteem and mental state to be confident in my work life and just life in general

I understand - I have suggested your options above.

I hope that clarifies things for you.

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