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SASH_Law, Lawyer
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 2224
Experience:  LLB (Hons)
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I have a query about divorce particularly the order of

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i have a query about divorce particularly the order of things
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: my husband has filed online and i need to respond within 7 days - i do not dispute the divorce but wonder if this is the right order, as we have not yet agreed the financial side
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: woudl it affect anything if i sign agreeing to teh divorce (as i need to respond within 7 days) and ti takes us a while to work out the details
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: we have 2 children with special needs - and in principle my husband agrees we need to stay in the house at least they are 18 but we have not reached an agreement...i am trying to understand at the moment if signing the paper for the divorce is premature or it does not matter since we both agree divorce is inevitable

Hi, I'm Lea and I have reviewed your query.

Are there marital property/assets to share?

Please bear in mind this is an email service and not a live chat so responses may not be instantaneous. I am not available for calls, but in all cases it is very likely you can be helped online.

Customer: replied 9 days ago.
there is mainly the mortgage - we have not yet agreed on this as the mediation session failed so I said unless we agree we will need to go through the courts - we may manage to agree this without that, but in the meantime things have dragged on (we have lived almost 5 years together now albeit separated so he has finally applied for divorce but I am a bit worried about signing before we have agreed everything - would it matter if we agree the divorce, and then do the financial side...he is not asking for joint custody...we mainly need to agree financials, how much he needs to pay towards house and fixed costs...
Customer: replied 9 days ago.
Hi Lea, I cannot talk at the moment - this maybe useful later - at the moment i only want to establish if tehre is some kind of disadvantage in responding to the divorce application before we have agreed financials - i do not dispute the divorce...he has filed based on separation - although we have lived together we have been separated. ..mainly due to practical reasons we have carried on

The process of divorce takes into consideration the financial application that either party may wish to make.

You can respond to the petition and agree to the divorce if you wish to - and the court will then process that to the decree nisi stage. Once the decree nisi is granted, either you or your spouse can file a Form A application for a financial settlement. The court will generally deal with the financial settlement ahead of the the decree absolute, but you can also ask the court to stay any application from your husband for the decree absolute until such time as the finances have been resolved.

The phone call is a site pop up - as per my initial response I won't be calling.

There is no disadvantage to you responding to the divorce petition - as per my paragraph above, you can make your claim for a financial settlement once the decree nisi is pronounced.

Customer: replied 9 days ago.
we have lived together because of practical reasons and because he things i should agree to him paying less so he can afford to move out but i cannot take on more costs if i am the main carer so i dispute that saying he needs to pay at least half - we both work and earn about the same. he agrees we can stay until they are 18 and then we need to split the house 50-50 but i also disagree with this as our kids are not leaving at 18 and was suggesting at least 21 and even then the split should be 25-75 as there is 3 of us and the kids are not leaving home due to their disabilities they cannot be independent...
this is just the background to this - at the moment i am wondering if i should sign -he has ticked financial order through the courts so it does indicate this is yet to come - although he said we can change this if we agree - does it matter if i sign now agreeing to a divorce - and then we work out the rest later...or is it better to wait and sort out financials first plus when he will have kids for holidays etc -
Customer: replied 9 days ago.
that makes sense thank you Lea

You're very welcome.

Please be aware that when you make a financial claim in court, the court will consider the needs of both parties and any dependent children and take into consideration each person's specific needs, so it is likely that the court will take special consideration of your children's needs if they impact their need for care for longer than other children.

You can find the full list of what the court considers when making a financial settlement here:

Does that help?

Customer: replied 9 days ago.
on the one hand i would rather avoid the courts and the excessive costs but on the other hand i get very conflicting views as it is not a standard case - some say we may not even need to move out if kids cannot leave home, others say i cannot expect him not to benefit and 50-50 is likely if we have both been working parents with a nanny / childcare help...would be good to find someone with experience in divorce with SEN child but this is very hepful to know thank you

If you can agree something between you - or with the help of a mediator - then you can avoid court in so much as you will not be asking the court to decide. But whatever you agree between you or with the help of a mediator, you will still need to get sealed by the court into a consent order.

Given the special needs of your children, and if you are the main carer, you clearly have a greater need than the father, therefore it is likely a court would not do a 50/50 split.

No one can tell you exactly what the likely outcome is without full financial disclosure from both of you however, all anyone can do is give you an idea of the process and what would be taken into consideration (see the link I provided above).

I would certainly suggest that you seek legal advice before agreeing any settlement.

SASH_Law and 6 other Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 days ago.
many thanks

You're very welcome.

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
One follow up query if I may - there was an option to tick - court to delay decree absolute until satisfied with financial. Settlement. I thought it is sensible to tick this I hope it does not mean we absolutely must go via court but simply a precaution that we have a settlement before divorce is final which I think is sensible given the kids and the co-parenting journey ahead of is

That is correct - and in fact, even if you reach agreement between yourselves or via a mediator, you do in fact need your consent order sealed by the court in order to make it enforceable.