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There are no direct criminal implications of a finding in the family court. Any finding in a family court is a civil matter.
When the family courts determine whether a fact is true they only have to be satisfied on the balance of probabilities. In a criminal court they have to be sure or satisfied beyond reasonable doubt. It's a big difference, the bar is a lot lower in civil courts than criminal courts.
So if you are found to have had non consensual sex in a family court, it does not follow that you will receive a criminal conviction or be punished.
However, if you do end up being investigated by the Police or you are already being investigated then the Police can apply to get all the papers and records of testimony from the finding of fact. They can use this information against you if for example you tell the police a different story to what you tell the family court.
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Not really no, that something people choose to say in a Police interview. If you give evidence in court you can't just say no comment you must answer the questions asked of you.
If you don't answer the questions it is likely the findings will be made against you.
Yes you can choose not to attend and you can choose not to give evidence but the judge will almost certainly make findings against you if you do either of those things.
If you want to get a representative you can find a local solicitor here: https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk.
I understand that but as I say, the burden of proof is different in both family/ civil courts.
The Police will only use evidence from the Family Courts if you tell the Police something different and contradict yourself. It's unlikely the Police will investigate if they have not already done so.
So long as you tell the truth you should be fine.
Like I say you can choose not to give evidence but you risk that the findings are made and that may have an impact on whatever the wider family court case is about.
Yes, it is always better to inform the court if you do not intend to appear otherwise a lot of court time will be wasted.
I'd say it is better to attend and explain yourself though.
I understand that but the court have considered that the fact to be determined is important to the case as a whole.
If you attend at court and explain why you are worried about giving evidence then you might be able to come to an agreement of some kind. E.g. it can be recorded in the order that for the purposes of the family court proceedings alone you are not opposing the facts sought.
That wouldn't be admissible in a criminal court as it isn't an admission.
If you can, go along and tell the judge your concerns. Explain that you are willing to forego your right to give evidence but it's not because you actually admit wrongdoing.
No admissions are not strictly admissible in criminal courts as evidence that you did the thing alleged. But you should never admit to something you didn't do so I wouldn't ever suggest you do that.
Findings will be recorded though and may have an impact on you having contact with children etc in the future. By this I mean your children/ children in your family. Social Services will usually have access to any relevant findings.
Non-consensual sex does not automatically impact on your safety around children if the parties are both adults.
You really need full representation so that someone can advise you fully. It's impossible for me to advise you fully on here. I always think it is unfair that people in yours situation aren't eligible for legal aid but that's the system we have unfortunately.
That's entirely normal. The court can't have a situation where an alleged rapist can directly cross-examine his alleged victim that would be unfair if the allegations were true.
It's normal that you send your questions to the judge in advance and the judge asks the questions for you. If you had a barrister then they would ask the questions for you.
Your ex won't have seen the questions in advance.
If follow up questions are needed the judge should ask them himself. If you want to ask follow up questions the judge should allow you the opportunity to write some out and he will ask them.
I know you don't have a lot of faith in the judge but they do have a duty to make sure that the proceedings are fair even when one party is unrepresented. You'll get your say at the appropriate points.
Again, "fine tuning" allegations and making additional statements is quite normal. It's not something the judge has done to spite you.
Well I'm afraid as I say without knowing the full facts I can't really help you; you'd need to fully instruct a lawyer to go through everything with you and advise fully.
I've gone way beyond the scope of your original question and I'm afraid I've hit the point where I can't really assist you much further on this.
No problem. Good luck with it. All I'd say is don't just fail to turn up without telling anyone as you'll likely end up with a costs order.
Costs orders are very rare in family cases. The only way costs are ordered is if you are unreasonable e.g failing to show up without telling anyone in advance.