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Have you been to court with this?
Let me see if I can help and please rate 5 stars. Firstly it is not for her to make any conditions about your contact. You both have parental responsibility - which means equal rights. You might need to make an urgent application to the court for a child arrangements order on a form C100. You would also want to apply to sort out the time the children spend with each of you. This will allow there to be a strict court order which she must comply with. I have to help you attached a link to a great book which explains the process - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Represent-Yourself-Family-Court-understanding/dp/147211910X
Happy to discuss and please rate 5 star
You should attemot mediation - a MIAM - but if its clearly not going to work the mediator can sign it off and you can get straight to court. Please rate 5 stars
Yes. Phone mediator and explain.